One of my married clients was excited to share some good news with me: things were finally shifting within her relationship that had felt stilted, tense and unromantic for years. She gleefully told me on the phone that, “I’m seeing results and I feel more loved and more loving than ever before!”
So what made the difference? She began doing things for her husband without the expectation of anything in return.
What it Means to Give Freely
In the situation I described above, my client had a light bulb moment. She realized that for most of her marriage, she hadn’t been very nurturing at all. Instead, she continually looked for the things hewasn’t doing for her.
When she got this, she made some changes. It looked like this: her husband goes to bed very early during the week because he has to get up at 4:30 in the morning to go to his construction job. So, since she goes to bed later than him, she started doing little things that she knew would make it easier for him to get up early. She prepped the coffee pot so all he had to do was switch it on in the morning. She prepared a water bottle for him to grab and go, and she left him a little note saying, “Have a good day!”
These actions are so simple! And yet, they had a wonderful impact on their relationship.
When she started doing that, he came home from work with a smile on his face – he was looking forward to seeing her! He could tell that she did these things from a genuine part of her heart and since she wasn’t asking anything in return, he felt more connected to her and more loving.
The Principles of Receiving
It says in the Bible, “Give and you shall receive.” I love this phrase because it teaches us that in order to receive, we choose to lovingly and generously offer of ourselves first from a place of genuine caring.
It is a beautiful gift to do something kind for someone because you honestly want to give. The trap can be when we unconsciously give something with the subtle “understanding” that they will give something back, or that they now “owe you.” And often when we give from this place, we fool ourselves into thinking that we’re being more loving and generous than we really are.
Essentially, the principles of giving always, always, always come back to love. What would love do? As soon as you ask yourself that question – even in the most tricky situation – you’ll be able to step back and look at what the other person might need.
And that is one of the easiest ways to polish up your Diamond Power and truly shine your light into the world!
