Is this habit robbing you of a happy life?

imgresAs I parked my car and started walking down the sidewalk towards the new church my friend recommended on Easter Sunday I found myself immediately going into judgment- ugh, church in an industrial park? The people here don’t look like “my peeps”. It doesn’t have that “feeling” that makes me comfortable blah, blah, blah.

Have you ever done that? Before giving someone or something a chance gone straight into judgment?

Because I was uncomfortable I did just that. I felt myself contracting, my heart closing and disconnecting from the people in the room and then feeling a little superior. Yuck! In church yet!

Then I remembered something my work out coach, Katya Meyers, told me – I’m paraphrasing here but the gist of it is….“the ability to master the mind and be comfortable in discomfort will get you big results and allow you to push the envelope in all area’s of your life.”

Well she was right. I kept breathing and asking God to help me be receptive to this new experience and guess what? My ears and eyes started to open and as the ministers (husband and wife) began to speak I received exactly what I needed in their message – it could not have been more perfect.

My heart began to soften and expand and I followed their instruction to release what was on my heart to God, to know that if someone was throwing rocks at me and doors were closing that He had something far better in store for me.

Almost instantly my tears stopped and I felt a wave of peace and strength fill my body. It was so sudden it took my breath away and I stopped for a second waiting for the sadness to return – but it didn’t. As a matter of fact, the peace just kept increasing only with tons of love too and as I looked around the church it was as if I could see each person with fresh eyes – I was able to SEE their light. No more judgment. Gone.

And the person I felt betrayed by I saw as an angel – surrounded by sparkling light – in her highest element and I was able to send her love. Freedom!

Why am I sharing this experience with you? In hopes of bringing you more understanding of how we sabotage our happiness, joy and relationships with judgment… and how we can overcome it.

Had I stayed in judgment I would not have had the opportunity to heal, to see the beauty in every person around me – to connect and feel like I was part of something greater – to open my heart and learn a valuable lesson.

So be honest. How often do you feel uncomfortable and go into judgment, disconnect and close yourself off?

Next time you find yourself in discomfort, use this tool:

  1. Breathe deeply 3x – preferably to a count of 4 both in and out
  2. Ask The Divine/God/Source to help you stay open, to stay in your softness
  3. With an earnest heart ask The Divine/God/Source to lift the emotion that’s coming up with the discomfort causing the judgment

Allowing yourself to let go will open your heart and help you create those fun-filled, loving, deeply connected relationships you were born to experience. Freedom is right around the corner and boy does it feel sweet!


  1. I wish I knew what to do I thought I was a friend to a wheelchair bound man who asked to visit him I have been doing this for 2 years taking him out in his wheelchair and bringing him gifts doing his garden. But now he does not acknowledge me as a friend he is quite cold to me but all over his carers,smiles and frienedly with them and not with me. Should I bother with him again or let him be I feel he doesn’t care if I am his friend or not I feel so hurt what shall I do.

    1. Maryann,

      I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this! Relationships can be complicated, and you never know what might be going on in his head. I recommend that you attempt to have a conversation with him, and you can be completely honest. You might say, “It hurts my feelings that you don’t seem to want to be friends anymore. Did something happen to upset you?”

      Truly, we never know what may be going on for another person. I hope you can repair your friendship with this special person.


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