Today is a very special day – it’s a day to dream, to blossom, to expand, to recommit to living as the off the charts happy, fun-loving, successful (whatever that means to you) person you desire to be.
If you are like most people you’re setting goals and resolutions for 2015. Seeing it as a chance to start fresh – to do things differently than last year, change those habits that kept you from living the life you REALLY want.
The truth is, as most of you know either from personal experience or observing loved ones, very few people actually realize their resolutions. The initial excitement wears off, “triggers” get the best of you, nasty radiance robbers get super clingy and those sabotaging habits win out.
BUT…here’s something you may not know – there are ways change happens and ways change doesn’t.
After hearing renowned author and psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, speak at my church about how to create success with resolutions, I wanted to share his research with you so you can make sure you get the change you desire this year.
Let 2015 be the year you learn how to make change happen!
Dr. Cloud started with a personal story about how he travels a lot for work and had consequently put on a good deal of weight. After reading a self-help book on how to take the weight off, came to the conclusion that setting a goal, setting a resolution and saying I’m going to do this differently – and then doing it…doesn’t work.
He realized he couldn’t do it on his own – he needed to reach outside of himself for help. So he hired a personal trainer to reach his fitness goal and that worked.
He went on to say there are two systems of change in the universe:
a. The Law
The Law goes something like this:
a. You set a standard that you want to be
b. You have the rules on how to get there
c. You try to reach it and every time you don’t you are counting how much you have failed
d. You start focusing so much on the failure the dream goes by the wayside.
Change doesn’t happen like this. Period.
Grace has to do with unmerited favor. That means that something is brought forward for us to reach that standard. This is important because most of us don’t have the self-discipline to do it on our own.
Grace brings discipline that you on your own don’t possess. That looks like a friend or support group or coach that shows up consistently to help you stay the course. Simply put, self-discipline is born out of other discipline. That’s Grace. Having others bring to you what you do not possess.
Our natural thinking around change is to think, “This is how I ought to be” and we try to reach upwards to achieve that standard. This is The Law.
And Grace is about the standard coming down to you – giving you the tools and support to help you stay the course.
Sometimes we need a wake up call. God/The Divine/Source whatever you believe in will often give us a nudge (and if that doesn’t work it’s a 2 x 4 ouch!) to help us see what is lost or broken in our lives. He wants us “get it” – to heal and have a better life. Fortunately you will be guided, if you listen, to something or someone to help you course correct.
Maybe your relationship just broke up and you are heartbroken and you want to get back to who you used to be – a grief support group or coach will suddenly pop up to help you get through the pain. Otherwise it can be overwhelming and a lengthy healing process.
This is Grace – someone giving you what you don’t possess to help you reach the standard.
If you have a child think about sitting down and giving them the skills and abilities to work thru a class rather than say they better get a certain grade. This is Grace.
When we use our gifts to benefit each other we are living on purpose – we are sharing the various forms of Grace.
The various forms of Grace are what you do for your kids and loved ones and what your friends, support groups, coaches do for you – give the strength/tools to help reach the standard when you don’t possess the know how or discipline.
So wherever you are with your plans for 2015, I invite you to reach for Grace to ensure your resolutions are successful and you can enjoy your best year EVER:))