If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, then you know I often talk about the importance of setting boundaries with other people. But it’s equally as important to set boundaries with yourself. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Sherri, this whole month is about declaring my independence! Why are you talking about boundaries?” While boundaries might sound rigid, creating them is an essential first step towards setting yourself free!
Setting Boundaries Around Your Thoughts
One summer morning, I went out early, and I saw a woman walking her dog. It was a big dog, but you could tell he was still a puppy, and he was going nuts! First, there was a bird he wanted to chase, then it was a squirrel, then a gardener revved up his lawnmower, and the dog tried to dart across the street. Every time he tried to run off, his owner tugged on his collar, sometimes gently, sometimes with a little more force.
I looked at that dog, and thought, “This is how we are with our thoughts.” They take our attention here, there and everywhere. They zap our energy, hold us captive and keep us from becoming our glorious, sparkling selves. We have to rein them in just as that woman did with her dog.
Setting Boundaries Around Your Emotions
We all go through periods of depression, sadness or discomfort but we want to be careful not to wallow in these emotions. It is important though to acknowledge your feelings. Pretending that a difficult experience didn’t happen isn’t any healthier than refusing to move on from it. Allow yourself the time to process and heal, but decide that after a specific amount of time, you’re going to put the experience behind you and move forward.
Setting Boundaries Around Your Physical Movement
Creating healthy boundaries around physical movement is especially important for anyone who sits at a desk all day long. Set the alarm on your phone to remind you when it’s time to get up and stretch or drink a glass of water. Put on your favorite music and dance for two minutes or do an easy cross crawl, where you touch opposite hand to opposite knee while marching in place. Any of these activities will bring fresh oxygen to your brain, allowing you to work more efficiently and have better, more creative ideas.
Setting Boundaries Around Your Behavior in Relationships
I have a friend who recently admitted to me that she’s been stalking her boyfriend online. When I asked her why she was doing this, she told me, “If he’s doing things behind my back, I want to know so that I don’t end up getting hurt.”
This type of behavior is extremely common, and it isn’t just a problem in romantic relationships. Maybe you feel like someone at work is out to get you or can’t be trusted. If you go looking for evidence that supports those beliefs, chances are good you’re going to find it and end up making assumptions that have no truth to them at all. Free yourself from the need to confirm your worst fears and trust that God will show you whatever you are meant to know at the perfect time.
Did this post ring true to you? If so, leave a comment below and let me know what steps your taking to set healthy boundaries with yourself. Let your boundaries set you free!!!!!
xo
Sherri
This article has been a great eye opener I never really quite thought of setting up personal boundaries and to my realisation they not only set you free but they make one a high value woman full of sparkling radiance
This has been a very helpful reading; will try to put in on practice!!!
Thank you for this healthy reminder. I just experienced more verbal abuse from my dying dad. A good reminder for me to acknowledge it. Feel it and then move on.
Sherri’s dog on a leash analogy gave me a clear picture of how I can control the thoughts I have that are not productive. One strategy I use is to allow myself ten minutes to think about whatever my issues are, I time myself and then end the thought. I have even said to myself, “Stop – this is not productive, think empowering thoughts.” I am discovering that the more I practice, the easier it is to control my thinking. If my negative thoughts persist, then I will write in my journal.
I no longer have a drink on a first date. Revealing early emotions that soon can backfire later.