In my work with women, I get questions all the time about finding love, connecting with happiness and embracing a sense of forgiveness. Women send in questions about specific situations that run the gambit – but the one thing they all have in common is that everyone is looking for the magical solution that will have them feeling happy, peaceful and free of toxic mind chatter.
I can tell you with a loving smile that you already have the magical solution within you! Yes, even as you read this article!
Truly, the “key” to happiness and inner peace for us as women is really very simple. We need to stop searching for an answer outside of ourselves and realize that everything we need to be completely happy, fulfilled, purposeful and at peace lies within.
This is essentially the crux of my work with women: to experience the results you desire, go within and work on yourself! As you do so you will build a strong connection with your inner Diamond Power and that is where you’ll find all the happiness and joy the world has to offer.
Recently, Becky M* came to me and said (and I’m paraphrasing), “My soulmate of twenty years has decided to leave me. I’ve begged, I’ve tried everything to change his mind, but he’s chosen separation. What can I do? I’m miserable.”
I reminded Becky that, although we love to pin our misery on an outside culprit, we are more empowered than we realize. We all have circumstances, but we don’t want our circumstances to “have us”. If you want to change the way you feel, choose to respond in a way that will allow you to evolve because ultimately, your response determines your happiness. So the good news is, life doesn’t happen “to” you – it happens through you and with you.
Everything we experience we have created for ourselves or called into our lives for a Divine purpose – and most likely it’s a lesson that we need to learn on a soul level. For Becky, the first step to shedding her misery and stepping graciously into her new life is to go within and work on herself.
After all, she can’t control her now ex-husband. Nor could she control him when they were married, either. None of us can control anyone else, really (although we might try!). His departure is her opportunity to look at how she contributed to the separation and grow from it.
Take Responsibility and Heal Yourself
What’s going on in your life that you can take responsibility for?
When my marriage dissolved I was totally blindsided. At first, I blamed him completely – and it wasn’t until I finally sat down for focused self-reflection that I realized I played a big part in my marriage crumbling too. Sometimes when we’re really hurt, it’s hard to see our part, but it’s essential if we want to be happy. Some of my part included not setting healthy boundaries – not respecting or valuing myself or my husband. I was very much in my masculine and tried to control things and of course that pushed him away.
The more I reflected, the more I realized I had a laundry list of behaviors that contributed to my divorce.
Trust me, Sparkle Sister, it wasn’t easy! There were many tearful, ego-quashing moments along the way, but the beautiful thing is that through my realization I was able to take responsibility. Not only for the difficult things in my life, but also for the wonderful things.
I suddenly saw that I could create the life I wanted. After all, I had deftly created a life (without realizing it) that I didn’t want!
As that shift occurred within me and I began to take the reigns on my life, the dynamics of all my relationships automatically changed. When we make changes within, we show up differently and people respond to us differently.
Now, the other people in my life had the opportunity to “spiral up” with me. The great news is, when you shift it changes the dynamics in the relationship regardless because you aren’t hooked into the same pattern with each other.
So, whether you’re struggling within a dull marriage that needs to be rekindled or single and dating, please remember this: you have your Diamond Power. When you honor yourself, your feminine essence and your incredible radiance, you’ll see others begin to shift in response – and it will be all for the positive!