3 steps to safely love again

As we are in the month of love there is a promise, a hope a thought… this year is gonna be different. I’ve spoken to so many of you in the Sparkle Community ( many of you in relationships) who’ve said, “This is MY year to experience that deeply connected love I desire -it’s time and I deserve it!”

Yes you do!!! You ABSOLUTELY deserve to experience great love and the time has never been better than now – so stand up, draw an invisible line, step over it and claim it victoriously! Do it now!

Whether you’re looking or in a committed relationship it’s time to take bold action moving you towards your dream. If you are single I always say there’s a lid for every pot and if you have a lid, well you may just crave a better fit. Regardless, make a decision for your dream by implementing what I’m about to share with you today.

Hmmmm…are you beginning to notice any anxiety rising up? Twitching. Starting to sweat. Are you hearing yourself blurt out, “Not so fast!. As much as I want that, it’s a little bit scary. I don’t know if I can trust again…I’m not sure I’m ready to open my heart again…but dang I really want it! Ay yi yi what a conundrum!

Sound familiar?

If that speaks to you in any way, and you’re ready to let your desires zoom past your fears you’ll want to learn the 3-step process shared in the video below.

That’s why I’m writing to you today. Because all those doubts can disappear… forever.

Click the video below to learn more!

It’s my easy-to-implement “3 STEPS to make it safe to love again” video. I created it especially for you, because I’ve been where you are.

And I know that deep down you are longing to experience a love like no other.

By the time we’re done, you will have a key tool to succeed.

To set you free and help you feel safe to love again.

And steer you in the direction of the love you’ve missed out on all your life.

Now is your time! Leave behind the doubt, fear and paralysis that’s kept you hiding. A romantic adventurous and fulfilling love life is waiting for you!

xo

Sherri

February 16, 2019  |  Uncategorized, Womens Empowerment  |  No Comments  |  Share

Hot Tips For More Love This Valentine’s Day

Sherri at Jordan River, Israel

Valentines greetings from Israel!

While I’m on a spiritual pilgrimage to deepen my own journey of expansion, growth, self love and connection with God, you’ve been on my mind:)

February 14th, as you know, is the most exalted love day of the month.

How are you doing?

If you are already in a wonderful relationship I’m wishing you a beautiful celebration:)) But if you’re not and you find yourself longing to be in a deeply loving and connected partnership you are in great company. In my experience as a coach, I’ve learned that the majority of women share this common desire.

We are all on this planet to love and be loved.

And we’ve all been there on Valentine’s Day. The one day of the year that makes being alone feel even harder. Every shop window is full of hearts and red roses. Restaurants are advertising their special Valentine’s Day menus. If you were in a relationship last year and this year you’re not, the day can become a difficult reminder of what’s missing from your life.

But it doesn’t have to be this way!

What if, instead of spending Valentine’s Day focused on the romantic love you don’t have, you make it a day to celebrate ALLl the love that already surrounds you?

The best way to do that is with your soul sisters!

One of my most treasured memories is of a Valentine’s Day pamperfest with my dear friends Patti and Maureen. At the time, my heart was healing and their husbands were both out of town so we decided to spend this day of love together and enjoy it to the max.

This brought a beautiful realization to the surface for both Patti and Maureen. They learned that the love we celebrate on Valentine’s Day isn’t limited to the romantic rapture we share with our significant others. The love of friends is just as important as the love in an intimate relationship.

When’s the last time you laughed with your girlfriends until you had tears rolling down your cheeks? Or your ribs hurt so much and you couldn’t catch your breath? When was the last time you sat and caught up with the women in your life that ignite your soul’s passion?

This Valentine’s Day, how about you all put your heads together and plan a Girlfriend Getaway!

I love Girlfriend Getaways. A few days out of town, having fun with friends is incredibly rejuvenating. Even if it’s only for a day or two, that can be just enough to open you up to new ways of thinking, make you more creative and bring you joy.

Also, spending time with your girlfriends causes the brain to release the “feel good” hormone Oxytocin. You know that euphoria you felt after giving birth or the last time you fell in love? That was all thanks to Oxytocin.

The role of this hormone is to help us bond to others, and when we spend time with our girlfriends, its produced in abundance.

You might wonder, “If it feels so good to spend time with each other, why aren’t we doing it more often?” Here’s why: we feel guilty about getting away. We beat ourselves up for leaving our kids or our jobs behind to take care of ourselves.

But you absolutely should not feel guilty! When you take time for you and your favorite friends, you are filled up and able to be more loving, present and openhearted in your daily life.

Hear me, Honey Child: do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself!!

Here are some great ideas for a fun time with the girls!

  • Gather your soul sisters together and plan a spa day. Pamper yourselves with massages, facials and mani/pedis; drink champagne, eat chocolate. Just make sure to spoil yourselves silly!
  • Plan a weekend vino tasting adventure! If it’s not possible to hop on a plane to Napa, host a wine tasting at your place. Invite everyone to bring their favorite bottle (or two!) along with an appetizer to pair with it and enjoy the vineyard at home.
  • Have a Girlfriend Staycation! Invite your girlfriends over, make sure there’s lots to munch on and have some choice beverages on hand. Watch movies with the latest heartthrob or binge the newest Netflix series.
  • Meet for a walk at your favorite nature spot. Or make some other fun, active plan. Rent bikes for the afternoon, take a yoga or meditation workshop, sweat it out in a spin class and then refuel with brunch afterwards.
  • Having fun is incredibly important. When we add playtime to our daily life, we open our hearts to receiving in so many ways.

Whether you’re up for a get-together or a get-away, the options are endless. So what are you waiting for? Go call your girlfriends right now! You’ve been putting this off way too long and Valentine’s Day is right around the corner!

xoxo

Sparkling love,

Sherri

February 9, 2019  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to Spice Up Your Love Life

Let’s face it: most long-term couples find themselves in a romantic rut at one point or another. Between your kids’ busy schedules, your demanding jobs, and that never-ending and totally unsexy daily task list, it’s hard enough just to sit down and have a conversation, let alone make time for romance.

For some women, the problem is bigger than a lack of fun in the bedroom. They wish for a deeper sense of emotional intimacy and connection with their husbands. They think back to the early days of their courtship, to their lost sense of play and spontaneity and wonder if it’s possible to ever get that back.

I’ve got good news for you. It is absolutely possible to rekindle your sense of passion for each other!

Click here for fresh new romantic ideas…

Sparkling love,

Sherri

February 2, 2019  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

3 Reflection Questions to Set You Up for a Fantastic 2019

Fantastic 2019Wow, are we really in the “nth” hour of 2018? Can you believe it??

You may have had a really tough year and are looking forward to saying sayyyy-onnnn-ara!!!.That’s probably true for many people. On the other hand, there is no doubt you’ve had some real gem moments that may need to be mined from the last year.

Whether you’ve had high times or low times, there is some great wisdom to be had in all of it… if you know how to look for it.

Something I like to do at the end of the year is a “real”reflection because if you are anything like me, there is a tendency to focus on what didn’t get done. Right? Mama mia that can take you right down the rabbit hole!

So today I’m sharing this year end tradition with you; it’s perfect to do right now before you get caught up in all the New Year’s Eve glitz and blitz.

This tradition I started several years ago is not only easy and fun, it helps me see all the good things that happened; clear the chaos and clutter to GET the lesson, and sets me up for a spectacular and exciting New Year.

What I’m talking about involves 3 simple questions.

  1. What did I accomplish this year? Get your planner out and spend 15 minutes looking back to remind yourself of all your wins! This includes both emotional and physical accomplishments. Maybe you stood up to your mother and set a boundary, or made a choice to eat healthy foods that nourish and make you feel energized. Maybe you ran a 10K or realized what love really means or volunteered your time. Look at every little thing that moved you forward. Write it down with pride! I like to make this a fun poster that makes my heart smile by using colorful glitter glue and rhinestone stickers. Celebrate YOU!
  2. What am I leaving behind? Look at lessons learned and ways of being that you are going to ditch. Maybe you were overly responsible and now you are going to let go of blaming yourself when things go awry. Or perhaps you are a woman of independence and you are going to let go of doing everything yourself and ask, dare I say it, for help! It could be you had unhealthy eating habits and you are going to let go of indulging to fill a void and bring in some new empowering behaviors. Possibly you have a closet full of clothes yet you wear the same 5 outfits over and over again and know it’s time to heave-ho ( yes that includes that little black dress you wore with the one you thought was “the one” and your heart sinks every time you look at it- get it out!). You are becoming the leading lady of your life!!! Hallelujah to that sister!
  3. What would I love in 2019? Get yourself a calendar, some colorful pens and use your imagination to create a life of passion! Start by thinking of all the things that you would love to do and fill in your calendar for the whole year. Decide when and how many vacations you want to take; how many fun days a month will you give yourself? Are there retreats or training’s you’d like to attend for physical, spiritual or mind blowing expansion? Make sure to include a bucket list item or two or three LOL. Taking control of how you spend your time will create a much more balanced and happy life.

As Margaret Wheatley said, 

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”

Answering the above 3 questions will make you feel lighter and as you feel lighter you’ll begin to feel more energized and open. As you feel more energized and open, you’ll step into the New Year with more confidence.

It’s time to make a change! Gather your gumption and give this a go! You’ll be glad you did!

I would love to hear about your reflections!

Leave a comment below and let me know:

1 thing you did this year that you are proud of…

~ or ~

1 thing you are letting go of…

~ or ~

1 fun thing you are adding to your 2019 calendar…

xoxo

Sparkling love,

Sherri

PS – I’m cooking up a call that will bring you magic in 2019!! Stay tuned and eyes peeled – it’s happening end of the month:))

December 29, 2018  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Great Way to Raise Your Holiday Love Vibe

In my last post, I wrote about how choosing to give – whether it’s a physical gift, or simply the gift of your smile, time or attention – can powerfully raise your vibration.

It can be tough to live in a “feel good state” during the holidays, when so many people are actually feeling sad, downtrodden, perhaps lonely or just uninspired. Are you challenged to feel happy with where you are at this time of year?

Today, I’d like to share an exercise with you that will certainly lift your spirits and help shift you into a “I welcome more love into my life” kinda space this holiday season.

Click here to learn more….

xoxo

Sparkling love,

December 15, 2018  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

A Magical Way to Beat the Holiday Blues

We’re supposed to believe that the holiday season is the “most wonderful time of the year,” but for many people, November and December can be the hardest time of year.

If you’ve been feeling down, lonely, depressed or generally just “blah” this month, you’re not alone! And if you’re going through tough times, I’ve got the perfect remedy for you.

This holiday season, you can say sayonara to sadness and raise your vibration and your spirits by focusing on this one thing. You can turn bad feelings into beautiful ones this season if you include this into your day

What’s the perfect remedy for beating the holiday blues? It’s actually simple and doesn’t have to cost a dime…

All you have to do is look around and notice where you can give to someone else.

Raise Your Vibration by Giving Back

Ever noticed how warm and fuzzy you feel inside after doing a good deed? That’s the vibration of love at work, and it feels ah-mazing!

One of my clients, Vanessa*, was recently struggling to get along with her sister. To her, it seemed like every time they got together, her sister would make a snide comment or try to make her feel bad.

I guided Vanessa to shift the energy away from frustration and toward love. “Whenever you feel triggered,” I told her, “take a deep breath and bless your sister silently. When you do this it takes the personal sting away and puts you in a compassionate space. This energy shift will help you see a difference in your dynamic.”

She tried it, and told me a few days later that it worked beautifully!

Subtle shifts can be tremendously impactful. We think that if we don’t say anything about how we feel, nobody knows – but our energy extends far beyond our bodies. When we feel angry, hurt or annoyed, it flows out.

In the same way, when we feel grateful, loving and generous, it radiates into our energetic field.

This doesn’t mean that giving is always easy. It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for Vanessa to hear her sister’s nasty comments and then respond by silently blessing her! But true love asks that you give back… even when it’s difficult. It’s choosing to walk the path of compassion rather than the path of ego, and recognizing the other person for the beautiful, shining spirit that they are, underneath the personalities, fears and shortcomings.

Wouldn’t you want others to do the same for you?

Giving is an Act of Love

In my book, I say that “love” has 4 letters: G-I-V-E. Giving from your heart is the best investment you can make in yourself, your life, your relationships and the people around you.

The beautiful thing about giving is that there are infinite ways to give; you can offer a blessing (like the client in the example I cited above), you can volunteer, you can offer your time, money, or just simply offer a smile to someone passing by.

You’ll always get back way more than you’ve extended to others; giving is truly the best “feel good” investment.

My challenge for you this week is to focus on giving for seven days. When you wake up in the morning, ask yourself:

Who can I give to today?

How can I be a person of increase?

Where would my energy and gifts make the most impact today?

You can also ask God or the Universe, “Please show me where I can give today.”

This holiday season, raise your vibration and your spirits by focusing on giving back. Wherever you are on your path, know that it can be a loving and peaceful season if you’re willing to open your heart and give generously of yourself. Go on now… give giving a go!!! I think you are going to love it!

xoxo

Sparkling love,

Sherri

December 8, 2018  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to open your heart to love

Last week we looked at what happens when you release the hardened energy – resentment, defensiveness and anger – around your heart; in other words when we forgive. We discovered it actually creates space for love and generosity to enter the picture.

Today, we will look at dovetailing another beautiful practice to open the heart even more – gratitude. 

You might be asking, “how does gratitude tie in with forgiveness?”

Actually, pretty powerfully. Forgiveness doesn’t always happen overnight. In fact, sometimes it can take years of emotional work, sifting through the layers of the hurt, until we’re truly able to release old, hardened emotions. Little by little we get to a peaceful place.

Gratitude is a tool you can use to close the gap quicker – one I’ve found to be very successful with clients and would like to give to you too.

Click here to learn how gratitude helps with forgiveness.

 

November 24, 2018  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

7 Steps to Forgiveness

Forgiveness…is one of those practices that is easier said than done…would you agree?

Ever wonder why forgiving is such a tough thing to do, especially when we most likely know that forgiveness puts us on the road to more love and freedom?

Primarily, it’s because many of us equate forgiveness with allowing or letting someone off the hook for wrongdoing. We think that by forgiving someone, we’re saying that what they did was okay.

Forgiveness can look like we’re condoning the other person’s behavior. It’s easy to get caught up in the thought, “Why should I forgive? What was done to me was wrong/horrible/unforgivable! He/she doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.”

And I get it, I was in that space when I was married and discovered my husband was cheating. But here’s the thing – forgiveness is more about YOU than the other person.

Leading prosperity expert, Catherine Ponder, has a great quote supporting this truth,

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

So, in actuality, when we are able to forgive, we release ourselves from the bondage of the anger, hurt, resentment and possibly deep-seated pain we carry inside. Those feelings can keep us stuck and unable to move forward in our lives. For instance, if a past relationship caused you tremendous pain, you may be unconsciously sabotaging potential new relationships because you’re emotionally unavailable as you try to protect yourself against further hurt. By not being able to release and let go of what happened in the past, you keep yourself closed off from the love, joy and happiness you most desire.

How can you move on without believing you’re condoning what’s happened in the past?

Well, first, when you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you have to continue to have a relationship with them. In fact, you never have to speak to them again-ever! It also doesn’t mean that when you say the words, “I forgive,” all is erased as if it never happened.

What is important to do, however, is to see the hurt you’ve experienced in a new light. It means connecting to and expanding that part of you that has never been hurt or harmed and can never be anything less than all-that-is. It means taking your past hurt to a new place…maybe even seeing the light AND the flaws in those that have “done you wrong,” with a measure of compassion for them.

This is not easy nor is it quick. And it does not mean you ever allow this to happen to you again. To be able to truly move on, it can be extremely helpful to follow a process that allows you to arrive at a place of forgiveness. Here are seven steps you might follow to get there:

  1. Look at the hurt you have not been able to forgive up to now.
  2. Identify and allow yourself to feel your feelings about that hurt. Is there anger or resentment there? Is there fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, or some other feeling connected to your hurt?
  3. Imagine how your life could be if you released this hurt and all the feelings related to it. Visualize the joy, excitement and happiness you will experience.
  4. Now here’s the biggest step! Declare that you are ready to let the hurt go. Yes, make a declaration. “I, _____, am ready to release this hurt and the feelings I have experienced along with it!”
  5. Do it! Release it! Let it go! Forgive the person, including yourself, for what you went through. You can do this quietly to yourself, with a trusted friend or coach or by expressing it directly to the individual you want to release. You can also put their name in a balloon and send it up to the heavens asking God to help you forgive.
  6. Feel the freedom and exhilaration of all that is now possible in your life. Know that anything and everything is possible. Feel it. Believe it.
  7. Go for it! Take the first steps into the love and freedom you now have to create new relationships built on trust and mutual respect.

The result of forgiveness is that you now have a new perception and are not emotionally tied to the person. You’ve opened your heart, created peace, and are allowing natural feelings of affection and love to flow towards yourself and others. And from that new place of expansion comes abundance, happiness and a GREAT life. So, go for the good life. You deserve it!

Sparkling love,

Sherri

November 17, 2018  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

9 Steps to Setting Successful Boundaries

Here’s an important question for you…..

Do you say no when you need or want to say no? Or do you find yourself caving to everyone’s requests and demands and then feeling exhausted and resentful?

Are you the life support system to everyone around you? Be it your kids, your boss, your partner, your friends – letting all of them run you? If so you are definitely not alone lovely!

If this is you, It’s time to learn how to set some boundaries beautiful – and take back your power!

Perhaps you’re a perfectionist, people-pleaser or hard on yourself – and if that’s the case, you are going to have to stretch yourself a bit because it may feel uncomfortable at first. However, it will absolutely lead you to a happier, healthier life of emotional freedom.

You may also be like a lot of the people I work with (myself included) and want microwave results. I totally get it, once you decide you want change you want to see instant results. Here’s the thing about that – there is no such thing as instant boundaries – it’s a process. Performance and emotional research has found there is a process of steps involved that bring us this growth. It doesn’t happen overnight.

If you’re a gardener you know you can’t make flowers grow overnight – you have to plant the seed, water, nurture and wait – it takes a season. The same is true with any new behavior you want to adopt or any change you want to make. You have to have a season mentality.

You might be thinking, how do you even set a boundary? Maybe it feels scary or daunting. Well good news doll – there are defined steps you can take to help you start setting your boundaries now and I am thrilled to share them with you!

Let’s take a look at them now so you can start to create a healthier life with more ease and grace!

Click here to learn 9 steps to create healthy boundaries

November 10, 2018  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Are You Doing These 5 Things?

Last week we talked about solutions and reflections on being blind-sided in a relationship. You read my 7 “takes-two-to-tango” behaviors that created crumbs and added to the demise of my marriage. Many of you emailed sharing your light bulb moments and how these realizations had changed your perspective on your relationships. Receiving your messages brought such joy to my heart I want you to know I am celebrating YOU and looooove hearing about your growth!

Speaking of growth, let’s dig into another layer. Are you in? Remember, love, peace and freedom are on the other side!

Good for you if you are still reading! That means you understand if you want to get different results in your life you have to look within – in all area’s of your life.

So let’s start excavating!

If you related to my manly man habits of being “the fixer”, “the planner”, “the glue” or copped to being controlling or without boundaries, we want to look at what’s under those behaviors…in other words, what’s the motivation?

If you’re anything like me (and the thousands of women I’ve talked to), you might be surprised to discover there’s a worthiness issue swishing around in the sub terrain of your mind (AKA subconscious). Now, many of you might be thinking, “oh no, that’s not me at all, I know I’m bright and successful.” And maybe it isn’t…but what if it is, and you just aren’t aware of how it’s showing up?

Believe me, if anyone had told me I had self-esteem issues when I was married I would have told them they were crazy. My career was going gangbusters, and I was very confident in my ability to achieve success. However, I mistakenly believed I held that same level of confidence in my personal life.

The truth is what was happening at home would not have been happening if I really valued myself. What I realized, in my digging, was that I felt I had to prove myself, my worth, my value in order to be loved – and I did this by being the savior. I did not understand that I, like YOU, are inherently worthy without having to do ANYTHING to prove it. You are valuable by the very fact that you are a child of God. Period. Case closed.

Another way low self-esteem shows up is by not setting boundaries or enforcing the ones you do set and that was certainly true in my marriage. Simply turning a blind eye and letting things slide because of the fear he’d leave; not believing that I deserved better, not honoring my Self and my needs – all stemmed from a lack of worth. Sound familiar?

Take a minute to reflect on your own behaviors – where is your motivation coming from? If you’re a controller is it because it gives you a sense of safety? Does fixing the problems and situations give you a feeling of importance? Are you afraid of losing love if you set firm boundaries? Do you avoid conflict to honor the other persons needs instead of your own because you think they are more important than yours or that it’s selfish to ask for your needs to be met?

Be honest with yourself.

Understanding why you do the things you do is extremely important in getting to the other side. Once you are aware you can release and re-pattern with positive supportive beliefs that celebrate your value. The way to get long lasting sustainable results is to go below the surface – into the depths of your subconscious – admittedly not always easy on your own. Why? It’s difficult to see your own stuff. Ask a good friend to help you identify your patterns – they’ll know 🙂

Did you know 95% of our behavior is driven by our subconscious beliefs? We aren’t even aware of most of them!!! It’s like we’re on autopilot – only consciously acting 5% of the time – that’s like one hour a day, or less! No wonder we keep finding ourselves in the same situations over and over again.

So, I have a Self Esteem Challenge for you: over the next seven days notice the behaviors that are not giving you the results you desire.

Take time to dig deep for the motivation and ask yourself these five questions:

  1. What result would I like instead?
  2. What beliefs will I have to give up to achieve this?
  3. What beliefs will I need to create and lean into to achieve this?
  4. What can I do to honor my inherent worth?
  5. What action step can I take today to increase my self-esteem and feel better about myself?

If you are tired of feeling disrespected and being treated poorly it’s time to look within. We teach people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves – so start treating yourself with love, honor and respect. And never forget, you are as valuable and beautiful as a diamond!

xo,

Sherri

November 3, 2018  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share