Top 3 Things That Block Your Dreams

Last week we talked about setting yourself up for success in 2019 with 3 questions to gain clarity on your dream.

Did you answer them? Let’s assume you have. Ok then! You’ve got a dream, a goal, ambition and you’re ready to take the world by storm. Woo hoo!

And then, if you’re like everyone else, almost as soon as you decide to go for it, it seems like one thing after another comes up to side track and derail you! Soooooo very frustrating isn’t it???

Here’s the thing…anyone who’s dared to dream knows that the initial excitement will eventually be met with some form of obstacle or resistance. In addition to those outer roadblocks, your inner world starts to create some jam ups too. Why? Because as soon as you decide for a dream anything unlike it must come up to be released and re-patterned. So, how do you move past these derailments on the path to your oh so awesome dream?

The first step is to recognize that a roadblock is not a dead end.

When a challenge arises, it’s important to stay connected to your “why” and not to give up. Why do you want this particular thing? As long as you keep this in the forefront of your mind you can recenter, refocus and recommit.

After all, a detour on the way to work wouldn’t keep you from getting to your end destination. So why would you let a detour on the path to your dream keep you from reaching your aspirations?

Today I’m going to share the 3 most common obstacles people encounter on the way to their dream and how to recognize these culprits and move past them.

This way, when you encounter an obstacle you can say, “Nothing is stopping me – there is a power far greater than me – that is ALWAYS with me – that can help me handle any curveball that comes my way! I’m on course for my dream life!“

Viva la dream building!

The 3 Biggest Obstacles to Achieving Your Dream & 3 Solutions

Obstacle #1 – Fear

Fear, doubt, and worry are like leeches to your dream. There is a part of you that wants to move forward and there’s a part of you that doesn’t. The part of you that doesn’t is fearful of change. It will tell you all the reasons why you can’t reach your goal like, “you’re too old, you don’t know enough, you don’t have the money, you don’t have what it takes, you failed before what makes you think you can succeed this time?” Its job is to protect you in a safe little cocoon and therefore it will resist any form of growth and expansion in your life.

Solution #1 – Neutralize your fear

When you feel fear and anxiety creeping up, you’ll need to step out of that thought pattern. Take a deep breath and begin to focus on the “why” of your dream. Why is it that this dream important to you? When your “why” is big enough, the how will appear.

Ask yourself, what’s one step you can take from where you are right now, with what you have, to move towards your goal?

Your dream/vision will unfold one step at a time. Even the longest journey begins with just one step. What one step can you take now?

Obstacle #2 – Distraction

Distractions can keep you stuck in a rut. Have you ever set time aside for a project but before you sit down you look around and there’s the laundry or there’s a pile of mail you haven’t gone thru? Then you notice there’s that drawer you wanted to clean out, or you get a call from a friend and instead of letting it go to voice mail you pick up and spend an hour chitchatting with her, or you check your email and texts or get on Facebook?

These distractions can keep you on a permanent detour from getting to your dream!

Solution #2 – Stay focused & Set boundaries

Achieving your dream is going to require focus and effort. Set aside time regularly to work toward your aspirations. Treat this time as a VIP priority. Make sure you turn off all distractions. Put your phone on silent and close your email application.

Think of distractions as your archenemy in the field of your dreams.

Remember the importance of achieving your goal as you create your vision. If any distractions start to pop up, remember what they are and that you can make a choice of how to deal with them.

Obstacle #3 – Your habitual patterns keep you stuck

Most people want a life that’s warm, fuzzy and filled with fulfillment. Yet we go through life blaming our circumstances for the life we have rather than taking ownership and leading ourselves to a more empowered life. The truth is we all have circumstances, the trick is not to let the circumstances have us. Whether we are stuck in the past, seeing nothing at all ahead, or envisioning a dazzling future– all are equal in producing our reality. If we are dissatisfied yet do nothing to change, we will continue to live a mediocre life at best.

Solution #3 – Get in the driver’s seat and take control

Take responsibility for creating the life you want. You are the leading lady of your own life. Do the work to “know” what you want and “choose” those things. You have the power to create a life you love. It’s always a choice. You can move out of victim mentality, out of feeling stuck, and out of being irresponsible for life’s outcomes. You can choose to move into responsibility, possibilities, personal power and limitless opportunities.

It’s time to get in the driver’s seat and take control of your destination. You must identify and harness the power, control and responsibility for your thoughts and actions so you can be empowered to create a life you love.

Here’s to staying on track on the path to your dream. You CAN do it! I believe in you. Happy visioning!

xoxo

Sparkling love,

Sherri

January 19, 2019  |  Relationship Tips, Womens Empowerment  |  No Comments  |  Share

What to say to set Boundaries

march 10 article imageAre you a master at taking care of the feelings and problems of everyone else?

Are you clear about the things that are your responsibility and the things that aren’t?

Do you struggle with saying no?

If you’re reading this and saying to yourself, “yup that’s me!” you’ve probably got some challenges with setting boundaries beautiful. By the way – you are not alone! Many of the women I talk to and coach would rather twist themselves into a people pleasing pretzel than say “no” to a loved one, friend or boss.

People are so fearful of setting boundaries because they’re worried the other person involved won’t like it.

Can you relate to that?

In Dr. Henry Clouds book, When to Say Yes How to Say No, he says healthy boundaries will increase your love and save your life. Just as homeowners set physical property lines around their land, we must create mental, physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries for ourselves. Although physical boundaries are easier to see, the invisible property lines are just as real, and they define, protect and maintain your soul.

The truth is boundaries define everything! As scary as it seems, setting boundaries has the opposite effect of what we expect. Not only will you gain more respect from others, but you’ll start to respect yourself more as well!

Practice Setting Boundaries Everywhere
You can create a powerful invisible fence with your words baby. All you have to do is begin by saying “No!” Let it rip!! Feel the freedom as you honor your needs and feelings!

If you don’t like the way someone is treating you instead of taking it and becoming resentful, empower yourself by saying,

“I don’t like it when you yell at me!” or “No that behavior is not okay. I will not participate in that.” Your words let people know where you stand and gives them the “rules” of your yard.

One of my clients, Sasha, recently told me that she’d set a boundary with a parking attendant. He was speaking to her rudely and she quickly set him straight with a firm, “Don’t talk to me like that!” After that, he smiled at her and treated her totally differently.

Why? Because she’d instructed him as to how she wanted to be treated. She set a boundary and didn’t even think twice about it. Her words just naturally flowed out of her mouth and the guy responded very favorably.

Imagine what your life would be like if you set boundaries like that everywhere you went!

It’s OK if It’s Uncomfortable at First
Sasha happened to be a people pleaser. In the past, if she’d spoken up at all, she’d have felt guilty and very bad about herself. If you can relate, then setting boundaries might be uncomfortable at first. It might even continue to be uncomfortable after you’ve done it several times because building a new behavior takes time.

That was true for my client – after the incident she said, “See, I told you men love bitches.” But she wasn’t being a bitch. She was teaching him how to treat her.

Although Sasha had stepped beautifully into a new behavior (and continues to do so) the part of her that wasn’t yet fully comfortable in this new role of expression popped up to hijack her victory. We talked about it and she was able to quickly shift her perspective from feeling like what she said was bitchy to recognizing it was firmly anchored in self love and integrity.

I share this with you because the same thought might cross your mind as you begin to set appropriate boundaries at appropriate times with the appropriate people.

Don’t let the discomfort cause you to fall back into your old ways. As my fitness coach used to say, “get comfortable in the discomfort” because pushing the envelope will pay off big time.

Other people may not like it when we start to set boundaries but you know what? That’s OK. When you set boundaries, you’re honoring yourself and telling people that you value yourself. You’re telling them that you have integrity and self respect.

Setting boundaries is not about being a bitch. It’s about speaking from a place of truth and honoring as opposed to fear. Remember, you’re building a whole new persona. People will see you differently and that’s OK! You are stepping into your core diamond power bravely showing others another facet of your most magnificent Self.

March 3, 2016  |  Relationship Tips  |  No Comments  |  Share

7 Ways to Bring Touch into Your Life

couple-789824_1920Seeing as how this is the month of love, how would you like to transform your less than luscious love life into a juicy and delicious love affair? The key to a love life full of passion and soul-to-soul connection is touch – this is a powerful and sacred action. It opens the gateway to intimacy, creating presence and connection.
Don’t get me wrong; women love to hear the words, “I love you”, but touching launches relationships into intimacy by directly accessing the emotional self. Words are processed in the thinking part of the brain, while touch is processed by the emotional centers.
Endorphines, released by touching your lover or your own beautiful body, flow through the body creating a sense of caring and pleasure while calming daily stress.
Moreover, touch is paramount to love. It engages the senses God gave us for our emotional and physical well-being and pleasure, and is a powerful way to express what we cannot say. Yet still, we are a touch-starved society.
A worldwide study done in the 1960s monitored the number of touches couples shared at coffeehouses around the world. The results reveal the drastic……
Click here to learn the top 7 ways to bring touch into your life
February 11, 2016  |  Relationship Tips  |  No Comments  |  Share

Journaling Through the Pain

journaling picDear loveliness, when your relationship is on rocky ground it can bring about a boatload of anxiety, pain and panic. You may feel frozen or stuck, but believe it or not the upheaval is actually a wonderful invitation for growth – and when you journal, you can accelerate that growth.

If you are willing to see the situation as an opportunity to lean into your feelings and get curious instead of running from your emotions or denying they exist, you’ll gain a new perspective that will help you and your relationship shift.

Your feelings have something to say, so invite them in as though they are… [READ MORE]

How to Add Va-voom to your V-day!

vday picDo you wish your Valentine’s Day was a bit… more?

Are you craving more excitement, romance and passion in your relationship?

If you’re feeling underwhelmed by your romantic life (especially at this time of year) you aren’t alone.

Valentine’s Day is a holiday that puts a big spotlight on your love life. It can be daunting to realize that the once hot passion in your romance has cooled to a semi-happy ambivalence.

According to Pamela Haag, who has written a rather shocking book on modern marriage called Marriage Confidential, there is an uncertainty lurking just below the surface of many of today’s marriages. Haag’s research reveals that even though couples may rarely fight and may even maintain a sincere affection for each other, one or both may harbor a sobering sense that something important is missing.

If your partner feels more like a roommate than a lover, is it too late for you? Even if you are in what Haag calls a “Tom Sawyer” marriage where you are the career focused go-getter and your partner is retired, relaxed and disconnected from your efforts, I believe that you can recharge your relationship with the right tools.

The first step is to realize that there are thousands of women in exactly the same boat. A giant wave of resentment and loneliness is sweeping over the country and it is more important than ever that you take responsibility for your own happiness.

The second step is to do a “femininity audit.” A what? Yes, femininity audit.

Here’s why…

Today women are ranking at the top of the success ladder more than ever. We’re taking charge in and out of the office. This means natural feminine energy is being shoved into the background every day. Aside from that, many women are embarrassed by their feminine softness and vulnerability in the boardroom.

This is exactly why I am a crusader for empowering women to embrace their feminine energy to take control of their lives, their happiness and their joy.

I have worked with hundreds of women whose lives have been transformed by reconnecting to their true nature, what I call their “sparkle”. Deep in the heart of every woman, there is an enchanting being waiting to be set free. Like a genie in a bottle, this radiant and vivacious YOU is waiting for you to pop the cork.

So what are you waiting for?

Only you can make a choice to embrace your radiant self and the life she deserves.

Back to the “femininity audit.” Inside of eachperson is both masculine and feminine energy. When your feminine energy is low you start to experience break down. You might feel exhausted, stressed, and like your love life dying on the vine.

If the idea of being too masculine is new to you, don’t let that shake you. Awareness is the first part of transformation. This first step is crucial to you finding your missing passion and joy.

Here’s the femininity audit:

Rank the following characteristics on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “not me” and 10 being “totally me.” If you are ranking toward 10 on these aspects of your personality, your masculine side is highly toned and fit.

  • Competitive
  • Ambitious
  • Serious
  • Workaholic
  • Controlling
  • Left Brained
  • Strong
  • Confident

Now, rank these feminine characteristics in the same way. If these aspects are ranking under 5, you definitely need to amp up your femininity. You will find that your relationship will improve as you find balance with these two sides of yourself.

  • Girly
  • Soft
  • Flowing
  • Creative
  • Vulnerable
  • Right Brained
  • Relational
  • Flexible

Are you feeling ready to put some va-voom in your V-day as well as your life by connecting more deeply with your feminine side and experiencing more passion and joy? Great! Here is an action step you can do right now! Contact me to schedule a complimentary Feminine Power & Radiance Strategy session.

Together we’ll come up with a plan to reduce your stress and disappointment and unleash your feminine power.

Are You Lonely In Love? 4 Steps to Reconnect!

Screen shot 2014-02-04 at 10.24.19 AMSometimes love gets lonely. Even in the best relationship, you can occasionally feel alone and isolated. That sense of separateness can feel like a canyon dividing you’re relationship.

Are you sitting home with your partner, night after night, feeling lonelier than if you actually lived on your own? Do you long for the past when you and your honey were so connected you couldn’t wait to be with each other and share every detail of your day? Are you puzzled trying to remember how and when the disconnection began?

Click here to read the full blog and learn the real reason that your lonely in love.  Read about the 4 steps to reconnect!

 

February 4, 2014  |  Relationship Tips, Romance and Playtime  |  No Comments  |  Share

5 Tips to Open Your Heart and Invite Love In

open-heartHave you unknowingly closed off your heart creating a barricade against love?

We all want to experience true connected love. Being in a healthy, loving relationship is a rewarding and fulfilling life experience. But sometimes, without even realizing it, women can close off their heart and block out love.

How does this happen?

Here’s a clue – you block out love when you start living from your head instead of your heart.

When you get stuck in your head, you lose touch your heart-based love and connection to others.

The best life is one that’s lived in joy and gratitude, and the best way to experience those feelings is to be heart-centered.

Toughening up after heartbreak, vowing to stay strong to protect ourselves from future hurt, a current relationship that is disappointing, unfulfilled, and un-luscious can all prevent us from living in a happy and healthy loving state.

So how can you identify when you’re out of balance or living in a closed off and protective state, absent of juicy joy?

Here are five questions to ask yourself:

1. Do I love myself?
2. Am I able to forgive myself for past wrongs?
3. Am I able to forgive past hurts from others?
4. Do I blame myself for all that is wrong in my life?
5. Do I blame others for what is wrong in my life?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, then it’s time to shower yourself with some extra TLC. To start with, use the following affirmations in your daily health regimen:

1. I am worthy of love.
2. I release my pain and forgive the past. I am free to love.
3. I am loving towards myself and others.

As you practice these affirmations daily, you’ll begin to feel your desire for more love in your life. You may notice that you feel more loving toward yourself and others.

Here are five actions to incorporate into your daily life to continue to expand your heart center:

1. Sing. Sing in the shower. Sing in the car. Sing as you clean house or go about daily chores. Sing with your favorite singer or group or sing solo. Let it rip! Allow yourself to sing out loud and sing out strong—you’ll feel your heart expand as you do. I bet you’ll even notice a great big smile on your face. Now, how awesome is that!

2. Play with a child or pet. Both children and animals live in the present moment. A child’s laughter is contagious. An animal’s unconditional love is healing. Both children and animals remind us to lighten up and not take everything so seriously. They also show us that it is possible to let go of past hurts and move on. So, go play, have fun and lighten up!

3. Spend time in nature. Mother Nature reminds us to just BE. She also shows us that all is as it should BE. Enjoy a walk near water or stand amongst a grove of tall trees. Have a picnic in a meadow of flowers. Get quiet and listen to the messages from nature—the singing and chirping of birds, the rustling of the leaves as the wind blows, the sound of the water as it bounces across rocks in a stream. Let nature soothe and heal you and remind you that you are amazing and fabulous just because you’re YOU.

4. Figure out what brings you joy and happiness and do it! If this seems difficult to identify, think about what you loved doing as a child. As children, we loved feeling joyful and happy and we loved to have fun. Did you like to ride your bike, roller skate, roller blade, play hopscotch, swing, jump rope, play ball, swim, surf, curl up and read a book or did you like to pretend you lived in an enchanted land? Think back and remember who you were as a child—it’s the biggest clue to what will bring you joy as an adult.

5. Phone or spend time with someone you love. Spending time alone is great, but hanging out with your best girlfriends or the guys can be even better to connect you with your heart. Sometimes we want to be in a group, but at other times you might just need some good ol’ heart-to-heart talking with just one person you love and trust. Those we love and who love us are our best mirrors for how amazing we are.

As you do more to open your heart and live from your heart, you’ll find yourself experiencing joy and gratitude more regularly. Not only will life feel more expansive as a result, but also your relationships will feel more deeply connected. And that’s the best of all worlds!

If you find you are struggling with this, I want to support you. Use this link to schedule a complimentary 30 minute “heart opening” strategy session. You deserve to enjoy an open heart and deep love!
December 17, 2013  |  Relationship Tips, Womens Empowerment  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to Feel Confident With Men

Confident with menMany women say they have a difficult time trusting themselves in their relationships with men. They experience anxiety and self-doubt on topics of vulnerability, intimacy and sex.

To feel empowered and experience confidence with men, women must first develop self-trust. It’s important to know your self and your deal-breakers.

In this video I join with other YourTango Experts Charles Orlando, Sheila Paxton and Barbara Schiffman as Melanie Gorman (Senior VP of Experts) asks us what advice we would give to women looking for love.

Want to learn more? Check out this video!

November 26, 2013  |  Relationship Tips  |  No Comments  |  Share

What Type of Men Do You Attract?

Lots of women have patterns when it comes to attracting a certain type of man.

Are you attracting high quality men who are simply amazing?

If you answered no, it may be that your picker is broken. If you keep picking the wrong type of guy over and over again, you likely have relationship patterns that need some reprogramming.

Many women find that they keep dating men who don’t treat them with the love and respect they desire and deserve. It’s almost as if the same bad relationship repeats itself but each time with a different man.

If you want to break free from bad relationships, broken heartedness, and painful break ups; you’re going to have to go within. Only through exploring your relationship patterns can you fix your picker and find the amazing man your heart desires.

It’s important to realize that this pattern is not happening TO you but THROUGH you.

You want to get yourself to a place where you can feel confident saying, “I deserve a great relationship and I am worthy of a good quality man!”

If you find you are struggling with this, I want to support you. Use this link to schedule a complimentary 30 minute strategy session. You deserve to feel confident in life and in love!

 

November 20, 2013  |  Relationship Tips  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to Love Without Losing Yourself

Many women share that when they get in a relationship they lose themselves.
Relationships are demanding and filling the role of wife and/or mother can be an all-consuming job. In satisfying the wants and needs of your loved ones, have you lost yourself?

Losing yourself is detrimental not only to your own fulfillment but can be toxic to your relationship as well because when you lose yourself, your partner will also lose interest. Yikes!

In this video, I team up with a panel of experts sharing powerful tips to help you nurture your needs and stay connected with your own passions when in a relationship.

Remember, being whole and having interests outside of the relationship doesn’t take away from the relationship but ADDS to the relationship.

November 7, 2013  |  Relationship Tips, Womens Empowerment  |  2 Comments  |  Share