It’s summer and you know what that means – bikini time! Whether it’s a poolside bbq, beach party with the kids and friends or water vacation you’re probably going to be slipping into some sort of swim suit even if you’re not into baring your belly.
So how are you feeling about that? Comfortable? Or are you body bashful?
If you’re anything like most of the women out there, the thought of parading around with less coverage can bring up some anxious thoughts.
Staying body-positive throughout the summer months can sometimes prove challenging for even the most confident woman. Women of all shapes and sizes have struggled with insecurities. Whether you choose to wear a bikini or not, feeling body-positive at every age and shape is beautiful. For example my client Peggy, aged 59, recently announced: “I wore a bikini on my vacation and rocked it!” She would never have said this a year ago – but with all the inner self-love work we’ve been doing she’s now fully confident and in love with her body. The same is possible for you!
Here are my tips on how to create a positive body image:
Evaluate your beliefs:
We are told which traits are considered desirable in film, advertising, and the media. In America, I think of a tall, toned, slender but curvy blonde woman ( a la Christy Brinkley). Maybe your image slightly varies from mine, but is cut from the same cloth. We are told what is beautiful and what is not. Often, it isn’t our appearance that is the problem, but our mindset.
We are bombarded with images that manipulate and alter the female form. Often, we are sold an image of “beauty” that doesn’t even exist. It’s airbrushed or digitalized. Cliché, but, how we feel about ourselves and our core values is more important than what others think about us. We cannot control what others think about us, but we can choose the way we speak to ourselves. So ask yourself, “What negative beliefs do I have that are associated with my body?” and write them down. Next call hooey on those beliefs. Imagine taking a sword and cutting thru those beliefs with the truth. Next ask yourself, “What would I have to believe to feel better about my body?” Maybe it’s that you have legs that allow you to walk, arms that allow you to hug, a belly that protects all your female organs. Whatever those positive beliefs are write them down and read them daily till you own them. Keeping in mind that beauty radiates from the inside out. Some of the most beautiful people I have met are the kindest.
Practice awareness and release judgment:
Look in the mirror. What do you immediately focus your attention on? Identify the lies you have been told about yourself and cognitively replace these items with at least three to five qualities you love about your appearance. Repeat this step every morning. Say it aloud. Repeat this step as often as necessary throughout your day.
Please be kind to yourself because there is already too much cruelty in the world.
Reframe your thought process:
Refer back to the concept of scarcity, which is the myth or lies that we tell ourselves we will be happy when _____ , fill in the blank: “I lose ten pounds.”
Often, we are very critical of our own appearance, yet admire others for their special qualities while failing to appreciate our own.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Worried that a nose job would affect her singing voice, Barbara Streisand’s unique nose helped propel her to stardom. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world and still believe that you are ugly.
Maybe you are facing a much greater challenge in your life that is affecting the way you feel about yourself. We cannot control everything in life that happens to us, but we cannot allow our insecurities to ruin precious memories, such as a well-earned summer vacation to Hawaii. You deserve to feel beautiful in your skin. You deserve your own love. And you damn well deserve a cute bikini.
Act:
Confidence, like any skill, is developed through practice. As they say, fake it to you make it. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight and is achieved through a combination of small steps over time. Ask the universe: how can you move toward a more body-positive you? Write down ten answers. Circle the best answers. What are the steps that you can take to help you feel beautiful, healthy, and happy, always?
I encourage you to move forward in your life from a place of self-acceptance. Create a beautiful life for yourself and the rest will follow.
