Are you giving up on yourself when you really want something?

photoAre you giving up on yourself when you really want something?

Have you ever fooled yourself into believing you could “skip” a step or two and still get what you want?

Well I sure have. The 10K Mud Run I participated in last weekend is a great example. Since I’ve been working out with a group for the past 6 months – religiously following the schedule except for one small exercise – I thought I was in shape for this race.

It turned out I wasn’t as prepared as I thought…you see the one “small” exercise I consistently ditched was STRENGTH training and little did I know the Mud Run would have 15 obstacles (a la Private Benjamin LOL) including climbing a knotted 14 foot rope and ringing a bell – SERIOUSLY???

I couldn’t get past the first knot! In fact there were a couple of obstacles I didn’t complete because I didn’t have the upper body strength… and I quickly learned, all those work-outs I told myself I didn’t need (and avoided I might add) were KEY to my ease in getting through all the obstacles.

What I clearly got was I had been fooling myself! My coach put strength training in the mix for a reason – I had not followed her plan because I don’t like weight training – it’s HARD and BORING. So every time that exercise popped up on my workout schedule I massaged my ego with excuses that got me off the hook. But guess what? Doing it MY WAY made that race HARDER and I actually injured myself.

Not being adequately equipped for the Mud Run race made me weary and a bit disheartened humbly reminding me what I thought I was getting away with came back to bite me in the you know where LOL.

Did I ever learn a great lesson!!

Since then I have completely shifted my mindset around strength training because I now know it’s KEY in preparing me to handle challenges with more confidence and ease.

It’s only the willingness I’ve had to see what isn’t working and do the work to change it that has helped me create a life I love.

Why am I telling you this? Because this translates into every area of life and you are probably doing something similar and not getting the results you want. Ask yourself where you’re doing things your way and running up against the same problems again and again?

Avoiding something because it’s uncomfortable or hard or different or you just don’t want to do it will keep you stuck and suffering in a life that’s much more difficult than it’s meant to be.

One of my early mentors told me the only difference between successful people and people who do not achieve their dreams is that successful people do what other people don’t want to do. They are constantly challenging themselves to take it up another level with their mindset and skill set so they are prepared to navigate the curve balls of life with confidence and ease.

Question for you: where are you fooling yourself and skipping steps that will change the way you think and create new behaviors that will help you get what you want and lead a more fulfilling life?

Maybe you want a deeply loving relationship but freeze every time you want to express yourself – do you keep procrastinating getting the help you need to clear that block? Or maybe you bottle things up and when you can’t take it anymore explode hurting your kids, partner and friends – do you wave your behavior aside saying, “That’s just me” – putting off healing your anger and learning a different communication style? Or maybe you want a change in job or career – do you continue searching for jobs on the same sites, not open to trying a new resource?

Whatever it is you want in life, are you skipping steps that might seem hard now but will ultimately make your life easier?

The way you think is what got you where you are today (we’re not talking about the positive beliefs and ways of being, only the other stuff).

If you want a more fulfilling life here are 3 basic things you can do to get what you want with more ease:

  1. Be honest with yourself about the step you are skipping
  2. Change your mindset about the step you need to take
  3. Take action – do what you need to do and develop not only the mindset but the skill set that will allow you to go after what you want with confidence and high energy.

Practice these 3 steps and you will start living a sparkling life you love!


    1. Jane,

      You’re welcome – and I can’t wait to see what you create with this new “digging in” energy!


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