Take a moment to think about this. If you aren’t experiencing the love you desire are you silently slinking inward, wondering what’s wrong with you and unwittingly closing off your heart creating a barricade against love? The truth is many of us put up barriers around our hearts – we just don’t realize it right away.
You don’t have to be single to dread Valentines Day – its just as stressful, if not more so, if your heart is shut down, or you feel alone in your relationship.
Why is this important?
In the weeks leading up to Valentines Day, we are bombarded with images both on TV and social media, with a very consumer driven view of what love is, or should be.
A client of mine shared with me that she used to be disappointed if her man didn’t make a big deal about Valentine’s Day! She’d get really upset if there were no roses, no dinner, or special gift that made her feel adored. Really? Was this love?
Here’s why this is relevant:
We all want to experience deeply connected love. Being in a healthy, loving relationship is a rewarding and fulfilling life experience! But sometimes, without even realizing it, women can close off their heart and block out love.
Thinking everyone else’s needs are more important than our own we disconnect from ourselves. This is a way we stop loving ourselves. When we stop loving ourselves we begin to close off parts of our heart to others too.
How does this happen?
Here’s a clue – you block out love when you start living from your head instead of your heart.
~When you get stuck in your head, you not only lose touch with your heart-based love, you lose connection to others. ~
The best way to stay in your heart is to live in joy and gratitude – this will automatically fill you up with warm, expansive love.
Getting the love you crave starts with YOU. You must BE love to attract love. Many women I speak with say they want someone in their life to make them feel important, special loved. Most people have that innate desire and deserve such adoration. But here’s the thing – in order to attract that into your life, you need to be feeling that way about yourself FIRST. It’s magnetic – be that sparkling woman who loves herself and draw them in like honey.
Unfortunately, the tendency to toughen up after heartbreak, vowing to stay strong to protect ourselves from future hurt, a current relationship that is disappointing, unfulfilled, and un-luscious can all prevent us from living in a happy and healthy loving state.
So how can you identify when you’re out of balance, or living in a closed off and protective state, absent of juicy-joy?
Here are five questions to ask yourself:
1. Do I nurture my needs, show myself compassion, truly love myself?
2. Am I able to forgive myself for past wrongs?
3. Am I able to forgive past hurts from others?
4. Do I blame myself for all that is wrong in my life?
5. Do I blame others for what is wrong in my life?
If you’re not in sync with any of these questions, then it’s time to shower yourself with some extra TLC.
Imagine being enveloped with self-love and acceptance… how amazing that would feel? Don’t you want that?
To start with, use the following affirmations in your daily health regimen:
1. I am WORTHY of love.
2. I RELEASE my pain and forgive the past. I am free to love.
3. I am LOVING towards myself and others.
As you practice these affirmations daily, you’ll begin to feel your desire for more love in your life. You may notice that you feel more loving toward yourself and others.
Here are five heart-juicy actions to incorporate into your daily life to continue to expand your heart center:
1. Sing. Sing in the shower. Sing in the car. Sing as you clean house or go about daily chores. Sing with your favorite singer or group or sing solo. Let it rip! Allow yourself to sing out loud and sing out strong—you’ll feel your heart expand as you do. I bet you’ll even notice a great big smile on your face. Now, how awesome is that!
2. Play with a child or pet. Both children and animals live in the present moment. A child’s laughter is contagious. An animal’s unconditional love is healing. Both children and animals remind us to lighten up, and not take everything so seriously. They also show us that it is possible to let go of past hurts and move on. So, go play; have fun and lighten up!
3. Spend time in nature. Mother Nature reminds us to just BE. She also shows us that all is as it should BE. Enjoy a walk near water, or stand amongst a grove of tall trees. Have a picnic in a meadow of flowers. Get quiet and listen to the messages from nature; the singing and chirping of birds, the rustling of the leaves as the wind blows, the sound of the water as it bounces across rocks in a stream. Let nature soothe and heal you, and remind you that you are amazing and fabulous just because you’re YOU.
4. Figure out what brings you joy and happiness and do it! If this seems difficult to identify, think about what you loved doing as a child. As children, we loved feeling joyful and happy and we loved to have fun. Did you like to ride your bike, roller skate, roller blade, play hopscotch, swing, jump rope, play ball, swim, surf, curl up and read a book or did you like to pretend you lived in an enchanted land? Think back and remember who you were as a child—it’s the biggest clue to what will bring you joy as an adult.
5. Spend time with someone you love. Spending time alone is great, but hanging out with your best girlfriends can be even better to connect you with your heart. Sometimes we want to be in a group, but at other times you might just need some good ol’ heart-to-heart talking with just one person you love and trust. Those we love and who love us are our best mirrors for how amazing we are.
As you do more to open your heart and live from your heart, you’ll find yourself experiencing joy and gratitude more regularly. Not only will life feel more expansive as a result, but also your relationships will feel more deeply connected. And that’s the best of all worlds!
This month show yourself some lovin’! You will find that when you truly love yourself, that loving others is easier, more heartfelt and more rewarding!
If you find you are struggling with this, I want to support you. Use this link to schedule a complimentary 30 minute “heart opening” strategy session. You deserve to enjoy an open heart and deep love!