4 easy ways to create connection

April 21 2016 imageHave you ever been in a situation where you really wanted to create connection with someone and either couldn’t find any common ground or got anxious and clammed up?

It’s frustrating when you deeply desire a kindred spirit relationship and it just doesn’t seem possible, isn’t it? When that distance comes flooding in do you start to feel hollow and lonely, isolated, slamming yourself with, “what’s wrong with me, why can’t I open up and connect?”

It’s true, we just naturally hit it off with some people where we struggle with others (especially if we have a “past” with them and can’t let it go – we tend to over analyze what we think we should say and it comes out stiff or guarded – no connection going to happen that way:).

So how do you “create” connection?

It’s actually easier than you think. Here are 4 simple ways to engage with others – do any one of these and you will feel your hearts start to open and sync with each other.

#1 – Playfulness – playing leads to a more joyful state of being – the big benefits here are that it leads to more happiness and joy – and who doesn’t want to be around someone who is happy? It also keeps you present – most of us spend the majority of our time in the past or in the future which keeps us separate and isolated. In order to connect we have to be present. When you are light and playful your message is much more likely to be heard and taken in.

#2 Come from your heart and not your head – People connect when they feel you. Coming from your head creates separation and puts up an invisible wall – it can make a man feel like a servant. When you come from your heart you pull him in and he feels like they are part of the situation. Total win-win.

#3 – Eyes – when you look directly into someone’s eyes it creates an immediate connection. Think about it – when you talk to someone are you busy gathering up things or multi-tasking? This will make the other person feel unimportant, disconnected and they’ll soon tune out.

#4 – Relatedness – you may say you want to connect but how are you living your life? Are you waiting for men to approach you or are you reaching out? Do you avoid carpooling or interacting with others? Can’t wait to get home and watch a movie or read a book or get on the internet? We feel alone and lonely when we don’t connect – we are meant to be there for each other.

Voila! Now that you’ve got 4 great ways to connect go out there and make it happen!!


  1. Thanks for the four ways to connect with somebody. I realize that I don’t make consistent eye contact. Also I wait for the others to approach me right but then I approaching them. I don’t work on those two things.

  2. I loved these tips but its so hard sometimes to come from your heart , its kinda scary .I dont know why , its so much easier and I feel lighter when I COME FROM MY HEART thanks Sherri xoxo

  3. I just wanted to reach out to you and say thanks!! I bought your book, spent a good while on the phone with someone from your organization a few months back and was going thru a very tough and unexpected divorce. He thought he was ‘in love’ with a 23 yo married girl! I was devastated and never ever saw it coming! My bad! But I’m happy to announce that I was officially divorced on December 3rd and by 12/31/15 (would have been our 14 year wedding anniversary we started spending some quality time together and now he’s moved back in and things are going quite well!!! He said ‘doesn’t know what or why but he’d made a mistake and wanted to come home! I got my life back! And I couldn’t have done it without the support of Sherri’s book and the people I surrounded myself with!! Thank you so so so much! Christine

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