4 Ways to Break Your Bad Habits

Spring is a fabulous time of year to take stock. And I’m not just talking about what’s in your closet – I’m talking about what’s in your heart, mind and soul!

If you’ve been struggling to make your dreams a reality, despite putting in the time and effort necessary to achieve them there may be something—a belief, an assumption or a way of viewing the world—that is holding you back from living a life that sparkles with happiness and joy.

Your Beliefs Are as Committed as You Are

You know how it feels to be committed to something, right? You are ALL in, and that’s great! If what you’re committed to is something that serves your best interests.

But what if you’re unconsciously committing to a belief that’s blocking you in some way? For example, you may have an underlying belief that you’re not good enough, that you are undeserving or unworthy of love or happiness, that other people are smarter, prettier, more capable than you are and not even realize it!

And guess what? Those limiting beliefs inspire behaviors that don’t support the results you desire. That can create a feeling of being stuck and frustrated not knowing how to move forward. Perhaps you’ve experienced repeated failure, betrayal, or abandonment. Know this: it’s not your fault. You are trapped in a vicious cycle perpetuated by bad programming.

Click here to learn 4 ways to rewire your programming.

xo

P.S. If you are DONE with those patterns that don’t serve you and desire to go deeper to rewire your brain with more supportive beliefs, I invite you to check out my 2018 Soul Sparkle Retreat, July 19th-22nd – at the beautiful Italian-esque Westlake Village Inn.

There is only ONE spot left!! If you feel a longing to be part of this life changing, transformative, exclusive retreat let’s chat – click here to book a time with me.

May 11, 2018  |  Womens Empowerment  |  No Comments  |  Share

3 Tips to Stop Triggered Behavior

Alright, ladies, May is here! We’re going to celebrate the unofficial start of summer with a series of posts aimed at sparkling vibrancy! We’re going to be clearing space, literally and figuratively, to make way for bigger and better things. I want to kick off the month by talking about one of the most common stumbling blocks to your radiance and well-being: reactive behavior.

Do you find yourself dialing a friend to vent at every twist and turn of your awful breakup, dreadful friend drama or frustrating work expectations? OK gals, I can remember going through my divorce and having diarrhea of the mouth about every foul thing my husband did – and you know what? It didn’t make me feel any better, as a matter of fact, I always felt worse. If this is sounding familiar?

I promise you; you’re not alone. Yes, I know only too well how feelings of resentment, disappointment, and depression can drive you crazy. Sitting with those feelings is hard but trust me when I tell you that complaining about how others are mistreating you will only keep you in a downward spiral and leave you feeling empty.

So, what’s a gal to do? Here are three great techniques to help you rise above your unconscious reactive behavior.

Rewrite the Story

When your peeps call and want the latest update on your cheating husband, the boss who’s been taking credit for your work, or the ex-best friend who just stabbed you in the back, instead of immediately spilling every messy detail of your situation, why not simply change the story?

Tell your friends and family that you are beginning to see the light, you are feeling pretty good about the situation, and you are expecting everything to resolve itself. Even if this is not true at the moment, continuing to say the words out loud will manifest goodwill for you and shift your feelings around the issue. Trust me, as soon as you share this new outlook, you’ll feel light and positive, and much, much happier.

Journal

This is your new best friend!! Every beautiful blank page is waiting with baited breath for you to pen your most private thoughts – without any judgment! So the next time you feel the urge to grab your cell phone and vent to the first friend who’ll pick up, grab your journal instead. In the time it takes to have a conversation you can dump your thoughts in stream of consciousness writing. This is fast and furious writing- no censoring, no judgment. Pure freedom of expression. When you are done, read it and go a step deeper. Ask yourself why you are so irritated and see what comes up. Then write about that!

Awareness is the first step to healing and will surely help you soar from the depths of despair.

Dynamic Breathing

Taking a yoga class would be ideal, but if you can’t get to one, Dynamic Breathing is the next best thing. And you can do it anywhere: car, office, home. Start by breathing in deeply through your nose – picturing white light entering your body. Then exhale through your mouth, picturing all negativity flowing out of you. Dynamic breathing is both a cleansing and centering exercise. You will feel immediate peace – able to see things with a brighter, clearer, more positive perspective.

Here is my promise: If you implement these techniques you’ll feel empowered and proud instead of empty, and I think we can both agree that’s a much better place to be!

May 5, 2018  |  Womens Empowerment  |  1 Comment  |  Share

How to let go of your painful past

Are you still haunted by your EX or maybe a partners affair? Here is the answer you have been looking for.

Spring inspires new beginnings, fresh starts and cleaning out the clutter ( that includes all those toxic no good thoughts!)….so how about letting go of past relationship problems that have been stealing your vibrancy and joy? Over the years, I have watched clients, friends and even strangers so paral\yzed by past painful memories they weren’t able to let LOVE in.…so I have a question for you?

Have you given the care of your heart to someone who is either no longer with you or doesn’t deserve that precious gift? Or maybe you are having trouble opening your heart again to a partner who violated your trust. Are you blaming yourself or him for the loss of love in your life?

If you answered yes, you are not alone. Many women are in the same boat. I too mistakenly placed responsibility for my happiness squarely on the shoulders of someone else in the past but thankfully I learned the tools to let go of the past and reclaim my heart – knowing I am in control of how I choose to feel!

Why is it important to make peace with past or troubled relationships? Simple. Now that the bond is broken,your ability to regroup and rebuild your self esteem will go much faster if you appreciate the good and the bad that your relationship brought to your life. Yes, even the BAD. That will allow you the freedom to start enjoying your life again.

If your Ex or partner behaved badly, or broke your heart you may not want to let go of the “he did me wrong” song and hey I know it hurts to be deceived and rejected but it hurts more to hang onto it. I bet you anything that you got so involved with him and his life that you have taken all the focus off your wonderful self. You are beautiful and amazing and deserve a love-filled life!It is time for YOU!

Here is a short Self Love quiz to check it out….CLICK HERE to take the quiz!

 

 

P.S. If you really long to make new friends and meet other like-minded women who, just like you, are dedicated to becoming their best most sparkling Self, then I invite you to check out my 2018 Soul Sparkle Retreat, July 19th-22nd – at the beautiful Italian-esque Westlake Village Inn.

This exclusive retreat is limited to just 10 women. I have 2 spots left, If you want to be one of them, email me today at Sherri@unleashyoursparkle.com.

April 28, 2018  |  Womens Empowerment  |  No Comments  |  Share

Journaling Through the Pain

journaling picDear loveliness, when your relationship is on rocky ground it can bring about a boatload of anxiety, pain and panic. You may feel frozen or stuck, but believe it or not the upheaval is actually a wonderful invitation for growth – and when you journal, you can accelerate that growth.

If you are willing to see the situation as an opportunity to lean into your feelings and get curious instead of running from your emotions or denying they exist, you’ll gain a new perspective that will help you and your relationship shift.

Your feelings have something to say, so invite them in as though they are… [READ MORE]

How to open yourself up to great opportunities

3-23-2015 8-06-14 AMWho wants a summer filled with fun, love and great opportunities? I know I do!

As I write this I’m packing my bags, and about to leave for a vacation I’ve been SO looking forward to! I’m off to Hawaii for 6 days of research and rest with one of my favorite friends and I can’t wait!

I’m so excited to have a new adventure, share memories with my gal pal, discover beautiful sites and experiences for my upcoming retreat, and meet interesting new people.

I plan on having the most fun ever, but here’s the thing, having fun and being open to exciting opportunities is all in your head!

Let me tell you why.

The mind believes what we tell it, if you repeat over and over, that your life is challenging, you think you’re fat/ugly/too old/too whatever to have fun, find love, get great opportunities, the brain believes it!

It’s all a state of mind!

Right now you might be feeling less than excited about your day, it’s more about fulfilling responsibilities than a life. Of maybe you are in a chronic state of worry about what you don’t want to happen, or you are feeling lonely or sad. If you allow your mind to dwell and wallow in those places all the time you will stay STUCK exactly there.

So… what if you chose life-giving thoughts instead? Imagine waking up with a genuine, “I can’t wait to start my day” kind of attitude. When you put this kind of vibe out into the world it will change your life, get you unstuck, guaranteed.

All it takes is looking at each day as if you’re on vacation. Make fun a priority, and expect great things to happen.

It’s been scientifically proven that we attract what we put out. So embrace life with zest and zeal and the most outrageous things will begin to happen. Unlimited abundance. Magic. Plan to pinch yourself daily while shouting, “I LOVE my life!” Ahhh, bliss!

Think about how open and carefree you feel on vacation—it’s heaven! You tingle in anticipation of the new things you’ll see, the adventures you’ll have, the quality time you’ll spend with your loved ones, the rest and relaxation you’ll have at last. There are new friends to be made, new foods to be savored and new experiences to be had. Life outside your normal routine thrills your spirit and fills your body with excitement—you can practically taste the wonderful times ahead.

Opening yourself to new opportunities is about greeting each day with this same enthusiasm. Expect to have fun, expect good things to happen to you, expect things to go well for you, expect to see and do things that delight you.

All you have to do is conjure the feeling of being on holiday – the beauty is your mind doesn’t know the difference; it will help you attract glorious opportunities and outcomes to your day just because of that shift in energy.

If you are finding this mindset shift challenging pull out your favorite travel picture and put it where you will see it first thing in the morning. Gaze at the photo as long as necessary to recall the good times and feel yourself filling up with positive memories.

And then pay attention to life giving opportunities that come your way – stop saying no when your girlfriends invite you to the beach, or to get drinks, or (OH MY GOSH) to go out dancing. Say yes when your partner asks you to join him for some R & R – let your laundry list of “do’s” go – it will always be there. Get our of your own way so you can open yourself up to the fun and love you so deserve.

See these opportunities as an adventure! Jump In! Get Your Sparkle back!

You can’t experience life for all its joy, its fun and its abundant LOVE if you stay in a mindset that keeps you stuck. Step outside your comfort zone, accept that you need to be OPEN to new experiences!

If you are looking for a summer of fun, and hopefully LOVE, then its time to put yourself into a vacation vibe. Join a cooking class, or take on a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, like pottery, or a running club maybe, something that gets you into a mixed group of people around your age and who all have the same goal, to enjoy life!

If you have a great group of friends, make plans that will create opportunities for socializing and fun!

Here’s the secret: put yourself out there.

This summer, don’t be the one sitting at home wishing you were at the beach, or out having summer fun and lovin’ create the opportunities that put yourself ‘out there’ where fun and love can happen and watch your world and your happiness grow and soar!

Oh!! And bringing more happiness fun and love into your life has also been the topic of the online series I recently created, The Sparkle Summit, which you can still listen in on and better yet, get a copy of! Find out more here.

 

June 11, 2015  |  Womens Empowerment  |  No Comments  |  Share

12 Confidence boosters that are simple and work!

12 confidence boostersFor many years I let self-doubt, fear of being judged and criticized as well as worry about what others would think hold me back from pursuing my dreams of writing a book and living a bigger life. … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome my fear of not being good enough kept me stuck.

Sound familiar?

Most people face this faltering place at some point in their lives. The key question is: how do you overcome your fears?

What I’ve discovered is that fear is overcome with courage and action – consistent baby steps that build self-confidence and healthy self-esteem. With every step you start to believe in yourself a little more – you start to lean in and love yourself a little more – and with that you start emanating and projecting a certain magic mojo. Self-respect and confidence open up new possibilities and doors begin to open that move you in a whole new positive and exciting direction.

For me, developing my confidence is what helped me overcome my fear of not being good enough, and finally pursue my dreams.

I still have that old fear crop up sometimes. But now I know that I can beat it, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side victorious and more confident for having had the courage to try.

I’ve practiced boosting my confidence to overcome fear many times over the years, and that success fuels further success. It’s something that I now teach my coaching clients; how to build confidence and create happiness one step at a time.

It is possible, and actually exhilarating, to take control of your life by taking control of your self-confidence. When you take actions that improve your competence and your self-image, you can increase your confidence and go forward with gusto. Yeah baby!

Below, I outline 12 things that will help you instantly boost the confidence you need to move in the direction of your dreams. Self-confidence creates positive changes. Your dreams truly are attainable. By making one choice at a time, you can choose to experience all that you desire. The sky is the limit!
None of these tricks is something you don’t already know – in fact some of them are very simple. But sometimes we need a reminder because sometimes that part of us that doesn’t want to move forward likes to make things complicated so we stay stuck. Let’s change that pronto!!!

I promise you that as you take new actions, your results will change. By making new choices frequently you will develop new habits. And, fresh habits will change the fabric of your life so that it unfolds in new and exciting ways. These 12 tricks are some of my favorite things, stuff that’s worked for me.

Pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. Have fun with this!

12 Tricks to boost confidence – Go for it with gusto

June 4, 2015  |  Womens Empowerment  |  2 Comments  |  Share

The trick for breaking free from stress to really enjoy life

sensualAs a 21st century woman, you are busy and life can feel hectic. We are hardworking women and we’re all moving so fast rushing from one thing to the next. But, whew! It’s exhausting and stressful.

Could it be that we’ve become too busy?

When we move at this break neck pace, it causes us to lose touch with something special: our pleasure and sensuality. We forget to savor, enjoy, and really experience the best parts of life.

As one of the hosts for the radio show, Loving Your Sensual Side, I recently interviewed my friend and colleague Deonesea La Fey on how a woman can live in her sensuality in day to day life.  Click here to read the full blog and listen to the interview!

 

 

 

 

February 19, 2014  |  Sensual Secrets, Uncategorized, Womens Empowerment  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to overcome the 3 biggest obstacles to achieving your dream

future_freeway_sign250_1You’ve got a dream, a goal, ambition and you’re ready to take the world by storm. Woo hoo!

But, wait, why are there so many darn obstacles on the way to your goal?

Anyone who’s dared to dream knows that the initial excitement will eventually be met with some form of obstacle or resistance. So, how do you move past these roadblocks on the path to your dream?

The first step is to recognize that a roadblock is not a dead end.

When a challenge arises, it’s important to keep a positive mindset and not to give up.

After all, a detour on the way to work wouldn’t keep you from getting to your end destination. So why would you let a detour on the path to your dream keep you from reaching your aspirations?

Today I’m going to share the 3 most common obstacles people encounter when dream building and how to recognize these culprits and move past them.

This way, when you encounter an obstacle you can say, “Out of my way! I’m on course for my dream life!“

Viva la dream building!

The 3 Biggest Obstacles to Achieving Your Dream & 3 Solutions

Obstacle #1 – Fear

Fear, doubt, and worry are like leeches to your dream. The ego will keep you fearful of change. It will tell you all the reasons why you can’t reach your goal. Its job is to protect you in a safe little cocoon and therefore it will resist any form of growth and expansion in your life.

Solution #1 – Neutralize your fear

When you feel fear and anxiety creeping up, you’ll need to step out of that thought pattern. Take a deep breath and begin to focus on the “why” of your dream. Why is it that this dream is important to you? When your “why” is big enough, the how will appear.

Ask yourself, what’s one step you can take from where you are right now, with what you have, to move toward your goal?

Your dream vision will unfold one step at a time. Even the longest journey begins with just one step. What one step can you take now?

Obstacle #2 – Distraction

Distractions can keep you stuck in a rut. Have you ever started on a priority but you look around and there’s the laundry or there’s a pile of mail you haven’t gone thru? Then you notice there’s that drawer you wanted to clean out, or you get a call from a friend and instead of letting it go to voice mail you pick up and spend an hour chitchatting with her, or you check your email or get on Facebook?

These distractions can keep you on a permanent detour from getting to your dream!

Solution #2 – Stay focused & Set boundaries

Achieving your dream is going to require focus and effort. Set aside time regularly to work toward your aspirations. Treat this time as a VIP priority. Make sure you turn off all distractions. Put your phone on silent and close your email application.

Think of distractions as your archenemy in the field of your dreams.

Remember the importance of achieving your goal as you create your vision. If any distractions start to pop up, remember what they are and that you can make a choice of how to deal with them.

Obstacle #3 – Your habitual patterns keep you stuck

Most people want a life that’s warm, fuzzy and filled with fulfillment.  Yet we go through life blaming our circumstances for the life we have, not realizing we are responsible for co-creating life with our thoughts and words.  Whether we are stuck in the past, seeing nothing at all ahead, or envisioning a dazzling future– all are equal in producing our reality.  If we are dissatisfied yet do nothing to change, we will continue to live a mediocre life at best.

Solution #3 – Get in the driver’s seat and take control

Take responsibility for creating the life you want. You are the leading lady of your own life. Do the work to “know” what you want and “choose” those things. You are in the driver’s seat to create the life you love.  You can move out of victim mentality, out of feeling stuck, and out of being irresponsible for life’s outcomes. You can choose to move into responsibility, possibilities, personal power and limitless opportunities.

It’s time to get in the driver’s seat and take control of your destination. You must identify and harness the power, control and responsibility for your thoughts and actions so you can be empowered to create the life you love.

Here’s to staying on track on the path to your dream. You CAN do it! I believe in you. Happy visioning!

January 29, 2014  |  Womens Empowerment  |  8 Comments  |  Share

Are you living YOUR life?

Rose-Petal-BathMy friend and colleague Shana James believes that if you’re not getting what you want, then you’re not actually living YOUR life.

Wow, think about that!

Are you living a life of pleasure, passion, fun and fulfillment? Can you boldly express, “This is MY life and I love it”?

In the spirit of making 2014 your best year ever, I challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone to experience MORE. I want you to be that woman who is magnetic to everything she wants.

So, get ready to turn on your magnetic power! ==> Follow this link to read the full article and then listen to my interview with Shana now

How To Avoid Gossip & Feel Great

Ever find yourself lured into the trap of gossiping about other women? Or have you ever compared yourself to another woman?

Whether it’s gossiping, backstabbing, competing, or comparing, women are too often unkind to one another.

I read a statistic from a couple of years ago that the normal woman spends five hours a day gossiping. Five hours. That’s 300 minutes, or approximately one-third of the average woman’s waking hours.

In this video I join with other YourTango Experts Charles Orlando, Sheila Paxton, and Barbara Schiffman as Melanie Gorman (Senior VP of Experts) asks us why women are so mean to one another and what we can do to empower each other instead.

 

January 16, 2014  |  Womens Empowerment  |  No Comments  |  Share