What Self-Love has to do with Creating (or Re-Creating) a Quality Relationship

Let’s take a moment and send our love and prayers to all of those who have lost a home or threatened by flooding or wildfire.

With all the tragic events in the world of late I’m not only saddened but reminded that life can be unpredictable. And…life is short.

It can feel shaky at times especially when you are experiencing a natural disaster that you have no control over. Which is all the more reason to build a strong foundation in knowing who you are (and whose you are) to feel empowered in any circumstance.

Are you with me?

Because here’s the thing… whether it’s outer world crises or those inner vexing voices, it’s important to be aware that you have control over your thoughts – that’s about ALL you have control over, but that’s a biggy!

Especially when you aren’t even aware of the thoughts that are motivating your actions and sabotaging your dreams – now that’s scary! Have you ever had the experience of really wanting something, going after it with all your heart, pushing and pushing yourself to get to the goal, and then watching it slip through your fingers just when you thought you had it firmly within your grasp?

Click here to read more about creating quality relationships…

September 12, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to find happiness…that lasts!

In my work with women, I get questions all the time about finding love, connecting with happiness and embracing a sense of forgiveness. Women send in questions about specific situations that run the gambit – but the one thing they all have in common is that everyone is looking for the magical solution that will have them feeling happy, peaceful and free of toxic mind chatter.

I can tell you with a loving smile that you already have the magical solution within you! Yes, even as you read this article!

Truly, the “key” to happiness and inner peace for us as women is really very simple. We need to stop searching for an answer outside of ourselves and realize that everything we need to be completely happy, fulfilled, purposeful and at peace lies within.

This is essentially the crux of my work with women: to experience the results you desire, go within and work on yourself! As you do so you will build a strong connection with your inner Diamond Power and that is where you’ll find all the happiness and joy the world has to offer.

Recently, Becky M* came to me and said (and I’m paraphrasing), “My soulmate of twenty years has decided to leave me. I’ve begged, I’ve tried everything to change his mind, but he’s chosen separation. What can I do? I’m miserable.”

I reminded Becky that, although we love to pin our misery on an outside culprit, we are more empowered than we realize. We all have circumstances, but we don’t want our circumstances to “have us”. If you want to change the way you feel, choose to respond in a way that will allow you to evolve because ultimately, your response determines your happiness. So the good news is, life doesn’t happen “to” you – it happens through you and with you.

Everything we experience we have created for ourselves or called into our lives for a Divine purpose – and most likely it’s a lesson that we need to learn on a soul level. For Becky, the first step to shedding her misery and stepping graciously into her new life is to go within and work on herself.

After all, she can’t control her now ex-husband. Nor could she control him when they were married, either. None of us can control anyone else, really (although we might try!). His departure is her opportunity to look at how she contributed to the separation and grow from it.

Take Responsibility and Heal Yourself

What’s going on in your life that you can take responsibility for?

When my marriage dissolved I was totally blindsided. At first, I blamed him completely – and it wasn’t until I finally sat down for focused self-reflection that I realized I played a big part in my marriage crumbling too. Sometimes when we’re really hurt, it’s hard to see our part, but it’s essential if we want to be happy. Some of my part included not setting healthy boundaries – not respecting or valuing myself or my husband. I was very much in my masculine and tried to control things and of course that pushed him away.

The more I reflected, the more I realized I had a laundry list of behaviors that contributed to my divorce.

Trust me, Sparkle Sister, it wasn’t easy! There were many tearful, ego-quashing moments along the way, but the beautiful thing is that through my realization I was able to take responsibility. Not only for the difficult things in my life, but also for the wonderful things.

I suddenly saw that I could create the life I wanted. After all, I had deftly created a life (without realizing it) that I didn’t want!

As that shift occurred within me and I began to take the reigns on my life, the dynamics of all my relationships automatically changed. When we make changes within, we show up differently and people respond to us differently.

Now, the other people in my life had the opportunity to “spiral up” with me. The great news is, when you shift it changes the dynamics in the relationship regardless because you aren’t hooked into the same pattern with each other.

So, whether you’re struggling within a dull marriage that needs to be rekindled or single and dating, please remember this: you have your Diamond Power. When you honor yourself, your feminine essence and your incredible radiance, you’ll see others begin to shift in response – and it will be all for the positive!

September 7, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Want to feel strong and confident in your decisions?

A beacon of strength, wisdom, and altruism, Wonder Woman has inspired women across the globe. More than ever before, we need strong female role models– exemplified by the recent box office hit, which earned more than $700 million worldwide opening weekend! W.O.W

We long to believe that the power of good will prevail over bad— which is evident with the success of this female-led super hero movie. We want to feel strong and confident in our decisions and who we are, like Wonder Woman, right?

However, let’s be honest: we’ve all had experiences and situations in our lives where we’ve gotten hurt and then, without even realizing it, set up Fort Knox to protect our hearts. At the time that may have served us well and kept us feeling safe, but if we really want love, we’ve got to have the courage to knock down those walls and let the old stories go.

So, how can we be the heroine of our own life?

Click here to find out how….

August 3, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Self-love assessment

If you are like most of the women I have the privilege of talking to and working with you have the same common longing: the desire to experience romantic love at a very deep level (whether you are single or in a relationship).  

And truthfully, YOU, just as much as anybody on the planet, deserves to be adored and cherished.

Why then, you might be asking, is this coveted experience so elusive?!  

You’re probably super smart and taking a lot of steps that you think should lead you to that relationship – but the results are repeatedly disappointing with little or no movement forward. And that makes you even more frustrated! Sound familiar?

There is a solution – and it might surprise you. 

Are you ready? Here it is…. Loving relationships with others really hinge on building a loving relationship with yourself first. This is tricky because many of us think we are treating ourselves well. If you feel really solid in this, AWESOME but, on the other hand, if you have a little bit of wobble, there’s a quick self-assessment you can take in the video below.

Listen to the video above and answer the 4 questions asked to assess how well you are loving yourself:))

Here’s a bonus action step to create more self-love – MIRROR WORK–this is very powerful and a great way to build self-love from the inside out.

Look in the mirror and say:

I love you.
I’m proud of you.
You are special to me.
I am here for you.
 
Do this in the morning and at night PLUS the action steps from the video and you will soon increase your confidence, self-love and become your sparkling best Self! All essential for creating love in every aspect of your life.
July 27, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Do these sabotaging emotions steal your love?

How often do you do something for or with others because it just doesn’t feel right to focus on yourself? Do you ever feel ashamed because there are times you just don’t want to do one more thing for anybody else? Are you trapped in a cycle of doing, doing, doing for everyone but yourself?

In the spirit of Independence Day, let’s take a look at three emotional thieves that steal our mental freedom and block our love of Self. They wreak havoc with our serenity, self-worth, and keep us from living full, authentic, and sparkling lives:

  • Guilt
  • Selfishness
  • Shame

Many women wrestle with these three feelings and their associated limiting beliefs.

How would you like to be liberated from the behavior you’ve been trained in to always put others’ needs before your own?

Click here to discover how we can begin to free our minds from the entrapment of these three emotional bandits.

July 13, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

(Interview) How to take control of your life

Do you ever feel like your life is spinning out of control with relationship challenges, career demands and the pressure of being a “good” parent/wife/daughter/sister/friend? Does it seem like you are always behind the 8 ball without enough time to take care of everything on your plate?

If you have a burning desire for things to change in your life you’re going to love this interview with my award-winning brilliant business mentor, John Boggs. In this conversation he gives us his wise life-changing success tips for leading yourself to a calm, balanced, empowered and happy life. Oh, and this isn’t only about being a leader in business it’s about being the leader of YOU.

Because he has helped me sift through “life” many a time – teaching me how to focus and prioritize with simple solutions I wanted to share him with you. He is a true master of self-leadership!

In this interview you will learn:

  • A daily practice to build self-confidence and set yourself up for success.
  • A step-by-step process to get out of toxic emotional states
  • The most common culprits that block self-leadership and how to overcome them
  • #1 secret to moving in the direction of creating a life you love
  • How to measure if you’re leading yourself well

Take the time to listen to this interview – not only is John warm and authentic, he will inspire you to believe in a possibility of a better way of life PLUS give you the success tips and strategies to do it!

Happy listening!

June 28, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Are you ready to rock a bikini?

It’s summer and you know what that means – bikini time! Whether it’s a poolside bbq, beach party with the kids and friends or water vacation you’re probably going to be slipping into some sort of swim suit even if you’re not into baring your belly. 

So how are you feeling about that? Comfortable? Or are you body bashful?

If you’re anything like most of the women out there, the thought of parading around with less coverage can bring up some anxious thoughts.

Staying body-positive throughout the summer months can sometimes prove challenging for even the most confident woman. Women of all shapes and sizes have struggled with insecurities. Whether you choose to wear a bikini or not, feeling body-positive at every age and shape is beautiful.  For example my client Peggy, aged 59, recently announced: “I wore a bikini on my vacation and rocked it!” She would never have said this a year ago – but with all the inner self-love work we’ve been doing she’s now fully confident and in love with her body. The same is possible for you!

Here are my tips on how to create a positive body image:

Evaluate your beliefs: 

We are told which traits are considered desirable in film, advertising, and the media. In America, I think of a tall, toned, slender but curvy blonde woman ( a la Christy Brinkley).  Maybe your image slightly varies from mine, but is cut from the same cloth. We are told what is beautiful and what is not. Often, it isn’t our appearance that is the problem, but our mindset.

We are bombarded with images that manipulate and alter the female form. Often, we are sold an image of “beauty” that doesn’t even exist. It’s airbrushed or digitalized.  Cliché, but, how we feel about ourselves and our core values is more important than what others think about us. We cannot control what others think about us, but we can choose the way we speak to ourselves. So ask yourself, “What negative beliefs do I have that are associated with my body?” and write them down. Next call hooey on those beliefs. Imagine taking a sword and cutting thru those beliefs with the truth. Next ask yourself, “What would I have to believe to feel better about my body?” Maybe it’s that you have legs that allow you to walk, arms that allow you to hug, a belly that protects all your female organs. Whatever those positive beliefs are write them down and read them daily till you own them. Keeping in mind that beauty radiates from the inside out. Some of the most beautiful people I have met are the kindest.

Practice awareness and release judgment:

Look in the mirror. What do you immediately focus your attention on? Identify the lies you have been told about yourself and cognitively replace these items with at least three to five qualities you love about your appearance. Repeat this step every morning. Say it aloud. Repeat this step as often as necessary throughout your day.

Please be kind to yourself because there is already too much cruelty in the world.

Reframe your thought process:

Refer back to the concept of scarcity, which is the myth or lies that we tell ourselves we will be happy when _____ , fill in the blank: “I lose ten pounds.”

Often, we are very critical of our own appearance, yet admire others for their special qualities while failing to appreciate our own.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Worried that a nose job would affect her singing voice, Barbara Streisand’s unique nose helped propel her to stardom. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world and still believe that you are ugly.

Maybe you are facing a much greater challenge in your life that is affecting the way you feel about yourself. We cannot control everything in life that happens to us, but we cannot allow our insecurities to ruin precious memories, such as a well-earned summer vacation to Hawaii. You deserve to feel beautiful in your skin. You deserve your own love. And you damn well deserve a cute bikini.

Act:

Confidence, like any skill, is developed through practice. As they say, fake it to you make it. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight and is achieved through a combination of small steps over time. Ask the universe: how can you move toward a more body-positive you? Write down ten answers. Circle the best answers. What are the steps that you can take to help you feel beautiful, healthy, and happy, always?

I encourage you to move forward in your life from a place of self-acceptance. Create a beautiful life for yourself and the rest will follow.

June 21, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

3 tips to stay connected to Love

How often do you think, I’ll be happy when__________? (fill in the blank)

If you are like most of us you might have had a few thoughts like these:

* When I have a man in my life that loves and adores me and makes me feel special (whether you’re in a relationship or single) …THEN I’ll be happy.

* When I have enough money saved to make me feel secure…THEN I’ll be happy.

* When I drop that 10 extra pounds I’ve been carrying for the past 5 years…THEN I’ll be happy.

And sometimes “when” arrives and sometimes it doesn’t. In the meantime our lives are slipping thru our fingers like the sands of time. Yikes!

What “when’s” do you have in your life? Think about it for a minute and write them down.

Are you tying your happiness to a condition?

Don’t feel bad if the answer is yes, most of us do! Myself included.

When I was younger, from the time I was 15-28, my weight was a huge struggle. I was forever trying to say sayonara to an extra 25-40 pounds  (and trust me on a 5’3” small boned frame, that was significant!). I dreamed of stepping on a scale, peering down and seeing the dial stop at 110 lbs.…ahhh THEN I would be happy, thrilled…ecstatic!!!

Suffice it to say I went on countless diets to get me there including a week of eating nothing but German chocolate cake (did I mention they were mostly unhealthy? Geeeez!). Every morning when I woke up I would run to the bathroom, step on the scale and if that reflecting number wasn’t inching it’s way down toward my goal weight I would instantly slump into a bad mood. In a split second I would go from anticipation to anger and frustration letting the number on the scale affect my whole day.

I was totally postponing my happiness; making it conditional. I wanted out of that vortex but I didn’t know what to do to end the mindset that was creating the disconnect to happiness.

Until one day I discovered the secret. I understood how to bypass the condition and stay in that joyful, happy state no matter what!

Click here to discover how to lasso happiness…

June 14, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Is this missing in your relationship?

When was the last time you experienced romance in your relationship? If you and your man are like the majority of couples, you’re experiencing a romantic rut. Let’s face it, doing the same things over and over again can become a bit boring. The same old routine can leave you feeling like there’s something missing. And truth be told, there is something missing—your creative passionate expression!

There are so many different facets to who you are as a sensual woman, once you discover and unleash them into your life and relationship you will feel energized, empowered, ultra- feminine and happier.

How do I bring back the spark?

A fun way to rekindle your relationship is with a Romance-Capade. These are themed adventures I created years ago and presented at romance parties for women who wanted to spice up their love lives and deepen intimacy with their partners. You can easily bring back those heady days of dating and heat things up again by mixing it up, playfully rediscovering each other and remembering why you fell in love in the first place…

If it’s been a while since you and your man have gotten cozy, you may want to start slow with something that feels comfortable yet stretches you a wee bit. Bring Back the Spark fits this perfectly and will help you get things rolling.

Bring Back the Spark Recipe for Romance” Essentials

Follow this recipe to the T or whip up your own creation by adding or substituting goodies.

Mix It Up

Simply dining in another room of your home is a great way to rev up your relationship. If you’re like most couples you’ve gotten into a romantic rut with routine. Eating dinner in the same spot day after day, with no meaningful conversation, tuning into the TV instead of each other—doesn’t exactly bring on the “tingles,” does it? To rekindle the warmth and closeness you once knew together, you’re going to have to mix things up. If this makes you nervous enlist a friend for support.

Passport to Passion Invitation

Write a sexy note inviting him to dinner and pique his curiosity by delivering your invitation in one of these ways:

  • Put it in his pocket as he’s leaving the house
  • Prop it against the coffee maker with a red rose
  • Let your imagination run wild!

How to Set the Mood for Romance

  • Lighting: candlelight
  • Music: songs that inspire happy memories
  • Location: any room other than where you currently eat dinner— weather permitting, dining on the patio can be very romantic.
  • Tease: flower petals scattered on the table and floor

Get Your Sparkle On!

  • Wardrobe ideas: soft, feminine flowing dress with pretty shoe, preferably high heels
  • Persona: “I’m excited to see you.”
  • Attitude: fun, flirty and adoring

Feed His Passion…and Yours

  • Beverage: your favorite drinks
  • Dinner: his favorite meal

Cold Feet?

Nervous? That’s perfectly normal! Take a deep breath and remind yourself why you wanted to create this romantic evening in the first place. Not only will your courage rev up your relationship and provide an opening for re-connection, it will build your confidence and make you feel vibrant and alive. That said, having a support system in place will help calm those jitters. Ask one of your girlfriends to be on standby for a last-minute phone call or text message.

You Can Do It!

Give yourself permission to see and feel the outcome you want, leaving your troubles checked at the door. With this vision in mind, create newness and excitement by setting a cozy table in front of the fireplace, in your bedroom, on the patio, or anywhere different from the norm. Be silly and lighthearted. Play music from your dating days, a favorite concert or your wedding song…dance flirtatiously. Make a pact before you sit down that the kids, in-laws and career are taboo topics. With genuine interest, get to know each other again. Rediscover the magic!

Celebrate

Congratulations! Whatever the outcome of your romantic evening, take the time to honor yourself for taking action. That might mean letting out a whopping wooohooo, jumping in the air, calling and sharing your adventure with a friend, treating yourself to a bouquet of flowers, sending yourself a special congratulatory card—it doesn’t matter what you do, just do something to celebrate YOU. Journal your experience—how it made you feel, what worked well, and what you might do differently next time. But most of all, love on yourself for bringing sparkle back to your life and your relationship.

What’s Next?

Now that you’ve gotten your confidence back make sure to plan your next Romance-Capade. Get out your calendar, choose a date, and circle it. Do it now! If you wait, months will fly by in a heartbeat without an encore. After rekindling your love life do you really want to let it cool again? To ensure your life and relationship stay passionately alive you’ll need consistent planning. Think about it, if you want a gorgeous garden you need to spend time nurturing it, right? Your relationship is no different. If you would like some help creating another delicious adventure you’ll find 15 themes in my book to spark your imagination and keep things fresh.

Here’s to expanding your romantic repertoire!

June 6, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to protect yourself from bad juju

Would you like to learn how to protect yourself from the negative people in your world?

Because let’s face it, we all know someone who’s gloom and doom, or thrives on drama, is a chronic complainer or gossips behind your back and if we’re not careful we can get sucked into the undertow.

This can be especially challenging if it’s a loved one, parent, sibling, good friend or co-worker.

I have a client who shared she is struggling with this right now. Every conversation she has with her soon to be ex is laced with venom. After each interaction she feels herself falling down into the rabbit hole and has a hard time getting out. She gets stuck in all the nasty negativity letting it affect her work, happiness, parenting abilities and overall quality of life.

Wouldn’t you like to be Teflon to whatever is going on in your surrounding circumstances? To stay centered and happy – letting others have their experience and not letting their experience have you?

It is possible.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “All the water in the world can’t drown you unless it gets inside.”

That’s where the bubble comes in.

Click here to learn the bubble solution

May 31, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share