Wow, are we really in the “nth” hour of 2016? Can you believe it??
You may have had a really tough year and are looking forward to saying sayyyy-onnnn-ara!!!. That’s probably true for many people. On the other hand, there is no doubt you’ve had some real gem moments that may need to be mined from the last year.
Whether you’ve had high times or low times, there is some great wisdom to be had in all of it… if you know how to look for it.
Something I like to do at the end of the year is a “real” reflection because if you are anything like me, there is a tendency to focus on what didn’t get done. Right? Mama mia that can take you right down the rabbit hole!
So today I’m sharing this year end tradition with you; it’s perfect to do right now before you get caught up in all the holiday glitz and blitz.
This tradition I started several years ago is not only easy and fun, it helps me see all the good things that happened; clear the chaos and clutter to GET the lesson, and sets me up for a spectacular and exciting New Year.
What I’m talking about involves 3 simple questions.
Click here for the questions that will catapult you into a happy and successful 2017.
Do you ever feel like life is coming at you like a tsunami?
Is it hard for you to stay in your loving, feminine Self when you are in overdrive and feeling overwhelmed?
Especially at this holiday time when everyone is tugging at you and there is so much to do. It sure is exhausting isn’t it? And it doesn’t make you feel very “womanly”, right?
Honestly a lot of women struggle with this because most of us are taught how to make other people happy, how to sacrifice our needs…and made to feel selfish if we want a more pleasurable life.
I sure hear you loud and clear – it’s a challenge I face as well.
Fortunately over the years I’ve discovered some easy, fun ways to step out of the madness and fill up with a renewed vibrant feminine flow. These tips have worked successfully for my clients and I want to share them with you.
When you put them into practice you will reconnect with your charismatic essence and experience a much more love-filled, happy holiday and life. And when you feel loving, guess what happens? Yup, you guessed it – you attract more love.
These tips are not a singular quick fix – they are a practice, a way of life. Make the commitment to make these behaviors your new connect with “me” norm… make it a lifestyle and you will find yourself feeling full up with your feminine, sensual self – not only engaging everyone in your wake but feeling fabulous, sensual and in your feminine flow!
The holidays are here and millions of women are dreading them… what about you?
Are you feeling all warm, toasty and aglow with the excitement of spending time with loved ones OR is there some stress and anxiety bubbling up with the thought of going through another holiday season alone or feeling alone and disconnected?
While this time of year has tons of joyous potential, it can dredge up less than sparkling feelings of depression, loneliness and isolation.
Which is why I was excited when Jen, one of our community sisters, unhappy in her relationship, wrote in for help. Her question caught my attention. She asked…
“How do I overcome the stress and anxiety of the holidays and experience more love?”
If you’re feeling anxious and lonely in anticipation of the holidays this Sherri Live episode is for you.
You’ll learn a simple 3-step formula to combat the holiday blues – which increasingly is becoming a real problem for lots of women of every age, socio economic standing and relationship status. For many, it’s a situation they feel a sense of shame or embarrassment over.
Sending you sparkling love,
P.S. Keep your eyes peeled on your inbox – next week I’ll be sending you a special surprise!
One thing I’ve noticed over the years is how important girlfriend bonding is for women. Studies show living a happy and empowered life that is rich and fulfilling can’t be done alone. It’s our connection to others that gives life it’s richness and adds meaning to our precious time on this planet.
Do you know what one of the most powerful things is about spending time with your friends?
In my experience as a coach, and talking with women everywhere, I’ve discovered that the majority of us have a common desire: to be in a deeply loving and connected relationship. You are not crazy and it’s not too much to ask.
We are all on this planet to love and be loved. The key is an open heart.
Chances are you’ve gone thru something at some point in your life that was disappointing, hurtful or painful and without even knowing it you’ve set up a rock solid security squad to circle and guard your heart. You are not alone, we all do it.
So, how do you bust thru the protection and open up again? There are actually several ways to do this but one of the quickest and most pleasurable is to have FUN!
Being in a playtime spirit, you are in your heart right away!!! I promise you that if you keep adding playtime to your daily life, you will open your heart to receiving in so many incredible ways!
When’s the last time you laughed with your girlfriends until you had tears rolling down your cheeks? Or your ribs hurt so much and you couldn’t catch your breath? When was the last time you sat and caught up with the women in your life that ignite your soul’s passion?
My secret weapon to achieving balance in my life?
I love girlfriend getaways. A few days out of town, having fun with friends is incredibly rejuvenating. Even if it’s only for a day or two, that can be just enough to change your perspective, bring you joy and peace and build the bonds of your friendships.
Getting out of town gives you a fresh perspective, energizes you, and opens you up for creative thoughts. Just being with your girlfriends, causes the brain to release Oxytocin, which is the “feel good” hormone. It’s released when women talk together, when we shop, when we have that bond together that is almost indescribable!!
Science backs this up! There have been studies showing that when you spend time with your girlfriends, your body releases the ‘Love’ or feel good hormone Oxytocin that is produced in the brain. (Check out this neat study on mice spending time with their littermates)
It’s the same hormone released after you give birth and gives you that euphoric feeling and the same one that’s produced when you first feel like you are falling in love! Oxytocin’s roll is to help us bond to others, and when we spend time with our girlfriends, its produced in abundance.
Here’s why we don’t do this enough: We feel guilty about getting away – leaving the kids behind for a few days, or spending time away from our mates, our jobs…
But you shouldn’t feel guilty! When you take time for you and your favorite friends, you are filled up, you are more able to be loving and present and openhearted in your day to day lives!!!
Hear me honey child: do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself!!
Here’s some ideas for time with the girls!
· Gather your soul sisters and head to the spa. Pamper yourselves with massages and mani/pedi’s, drink champagne and spoil yourselves silly!
· Weekend vino tasting adventure!
· Have a Girlfriend Staycation! Invite your girlfriends over, make sure there’s lots to munch on and have some choice beverages on hand, you could watch movies with the latest heartthrob or put on a chick flick!
· Breakfast, lunch or dinner play date
· Meet for a walk at your favorite nature spot
Whatever your pleasure, go call your girlfriends now for a get together or get away, you’ve been putting this off way too long!
Resistance to change is probably the #1 reason people stay stuck in their life.
If you crave something different in your life…say you want to get married or divorced or move or maybe you want to switch jobs but yet when the opportunity presents itself you shy away from it because deep down you are scared.
What if it doesn’t work out.. what if you make a mistake.. what if you can’t handle it. So you stay where you’re at and sink even deeper into a life you don’t love. Even though frustration and blah-ness builds you just can’t get yourself to take the first step.
I get it, just like you, I’ve been there …and that first step can be a doozy!!
Let me share a personal experience that speaks to this scenario.
There was a time not long ago I declared I wanted to be of higher service, reach more people, step up and out. I felt solid, bold and totally committed to this vision and declaration. Definitely excited, feeling it to the core of my being.
Within 2 months I was approached with the opportunity to be an international teacher/leader in a country that really needed support and assistance.
There it was, my golden chance – completely in alignment with my declaration…and yet I hesitated. Why? As much as my body was screaming and expanding with an emphatic YES, my mind was racing with all the reasons why it probably wasn’t a good idea…at this time. Maybe later.
I looked for outs all over the place, but every time I prayed I got one consistent simple response – GO.. PRONTO!
Even with God sending me messages as big as a universal billboard I had excuses – not enough time to prepare, so many projects on my plate, fear of speaking on a stage for the first time, fear of leading a group of transformational rock stars (did I have what it takes?) and then there was the financial piece…blah, blah, blah.
Fortunately I discussed it with my coach and we figured it all out. Was I still scared and resistant – you bet! But I mustered the courage to leap and I thank God every day for giving me the strength because that experience was without a doubt one of the most significant and meaningful things I have done in my life. It added a depth of love and happiness and understanding to my being that is inexplicable – and I would have missed out totally had I stayed in resistance.
These are the 5 steps I took to conquer resistance and create the change I desired.
I recently returned from a business building event in Tahoe with my mentor Mary Morrissey (in pic above we are heading to a fun dinner on the lake after a long day of ninja strategizing/planning).
The theme of the week was “what would you love?” A simple question, right?
You can take this query into every aspect of your life…so take a minute and ask yourself, “What would I love?
The truth is if we aren’t focused on this precious question daily the undertow of “life” pulls us into a routine, Ground Hog’s day existence.
Over the course of the week I had the opportunity to interact with several people in regard to this question and just about everyone, whether single or married, declared a desire to be in a deeply connected, loving relationship.
#1 – Playful feminine spirit – give yourself permission to unleash your playful feminine spirit and enjoy life with lots of laughter. To live a life of pleasure you must first know pleasure! So get in touch with your inner child – what did you like to do when you were young? As we grow older we often get way too serious. There is no room for frivolity if you are structured and serious. If you are having trouble recalling what brought you happiness as a child, take a few minutes to sit down and reminisce about what you loved to do if you had even 10 extra minutes as a kid. Did you dance, draw, read, sing, bake? Chances are whatever you liked doing then you will still enjoy today.
#2 – Confidence: men find women with confidence positively irresistible and sexy. Confidence says you genuinely love and respect yourself. You exude an energy that’s magnetic, magical and mesmerizing. You know who you are and what you want. You don’t expect others to create your happiness. You take responsibility for your joy and you know how to create your joy, independently of others. This takes the pressure off your significant other and lures them in to your wild and wondrous web of fabulosity.
#3 – Sparkle: this means “BEING” in “LOVE”! Many people interpret “being in love” in an other oriented way – I’m in love with my husband/boyfriend, I’m in love with my job, I’m in love with my dog, you get the picture. In truth when you allow yourself to BE – just being who you are, in the present moment here and now – and you allow yourself to fill up with love, becoming love – you are now, “ being in love”. There is no focus or dependence on any one else being the catalyst for you enjoying this extraordinary bliss. When you are in this state you sparkle. You’re happy, you’re excited, you’re having fun and you’re giving an abundance of authentic love to everyone you see. This is a fabulous place to be! From here you not only nurture the partnerships you already have – you attract relationships, friends, and situations that are equally as loving.
All of these will move you in the direction of having what you would love. As a matter of fact another fabulous benefit from laughing is that it opens the mind and heart, oxygenates your cells and gives you a fantastic glow, not only making you feel light and young, you will look years younger too!
Making fun and pleasure a priority is definitely essential to your happily ever after, so embrace your passionate, playful side and you will free yourself to live, laugh and love fully self-expressed.
In addition, bringing play into your relationship adds fun adventure, lightens any mood and opens the heart creating a nice bonding experience. Plus, it will get your man to open up and talk more. If you are frustrated by your man’s lack of chit-chat get him relaxed and playful – believe me, he’ll start yappin’ up a storm.
Reconnect with what you would love – dig deep into the real YOU – the you that glows with Divine Love – from this place you take back your power. So go find your playful, confident, feminine spirit and you’ll turn your lonely, dull and disappointing life/relationships into fireworks!
Or maybe you are in the cycle of doing, doing, doing for everyone but yourself and then feel a wave of guilt when you decide to take time for you or set limits around your availability or what you’re willing to do for others?
Do you label yourself as “selfish” when you want to do something for yourself or even by yourself?
These questions may feel a bit uncomfortable (maybe even silly), but really think about this for a moment. How often do you do something for or with others because it just doesn’t feel right to focus on yourself? If you really delve deeper, I bet you’ll uncover these exact beliefs and feelings (or something very close) at the root of your actions or inaction.
Getting over past loves was not easy for me. My low self-worth led me to behave in ways that make me cringe today. Thank goodness I found the tools to change – hallelujah!!! But that change didn’t happen over night.
Although I had been studying transformation since my early 20’s and had always been interested in how the mind works, that thirst intensified after 2 back to back heartbreaks. I was at my wits end and couldn’t take the pain anymore – have you ever been there?
Fortunately, through prayer and persistence, I was lead to discover what I consider to be the Holy Grail of emotional healing. A belief changing tool that works like magic.
It was so helpful for me I made it the foundational tool of my work. Last week I was privileged and honored to attend a retreat in Taos with the creator, Rob Williams ( he’s in the pic with me above) to brush up on this powerful belief changing process and hone my facilitator skills.
Because what I know for sure is the only way to get over your ex, move on, lose weight, make more money, and have more fun in life is to change our beliefs and behaviors. Can’t wait to share what I’ve learned with you so you can shake off your ex!!
If you want to move on from a relationship but are finding it hard to do so you are probably intertwined with your ex in ways you don’t even realize are preventing you from doing so. The following is an article I was asked to participate in by YourTango bringing to light ten hidden ways we stay connected with our ex’s. I wanted to share them with you so you can free yourself from the trappings of an old relationship.
It’s official. It’s over. Actually it’s been over for quite some time now. Then why are you still stuck with your ex? You may think you’re doing your best to move on, but somehow you just can’t shimmy away from him/her. Truth be told even if you aren’t in physical contact you may be fooling yourself with lots of sneaky subtle behaviors that keep you connected and prevent you from meeting someone new!
Breaking up can be hard to do. We may be bonded to the other person and have a hard time letting go. Not having a clean break, however, may be confusing for either party. Keeping what seem to be innocent connections may send the signal that you want to get back together or they stand in the way of making a future connection with someone new. 6 Steps To Get Over Your Ex
Here are 10 ways you may be sabotaging your freedom:
1) Online stalking — Are you playing super sleuth on facebook several times a day to find out what the ex is up to or if there is anyone new in the picture? Do whatever you can to avoid this treacherous trap. It will only rile you up or make you sad — neither of which are helping you achieve the healthy mindset you need to stay strong and move on.
2) He’s still in your bedroom — Until you’ve not just removed him and his stuff from your bedroom but marked the bedroom as your own, his energy will permeate the bed, the sheets, the closets and the walls. This room needs to become your room, your space, your sanctuary, and the best way to do that is with some redecorating. 10 Signs You Need To Break-Up With Your Ex (You Read That Right.)
Even minor changes like new pillow cases and a bedspread, reorganizing the furniture layout, or a new piece of art can totally change how the room feels to you as they act as symbols of change and remind you that life is focused on the “new you” in the making now. Open the window and cleanse cleanse cleanse him out of your bed, out of your dreams, and out of your space.
3) Saving old messages — Are you saving and rereading past texts or listening to old phone messages? Reliving the past can take you down the rabbit hole fast. You’ll start the whole vicious cycle of wondering where it all went wrong — blaming yourself, then your ex, then you again, totally enmeshed in a relationship that’s over. Time to delete, delete, delete!
4) Socializing with his/her loved ones — Do you stay in contact with your ex’s family and friends? Are you secretly hoping they’ll put in a good word for you, or make him/her realize what a fool he/she was for leaving you. You’ll find this tactic will backfire on you because any communication you have with them after the break-up just keeps him/her alive in your mind and heart. Unless there are children involved, do yourself a favor, and let go of those ties.
5) You have co-mingled accounts — I’ve not only heard clients say this, at one point I even said it myself: “Oh, it doesn’t really matter that we aren’t legally divorced yet — we both know we’re done and have moved on.” Wrong. It does matter. It’s closure on another level, one that officially marks an end to one part of your life and endorses a new beginning. 5 Ways To Make Your Marriage More Important Than Money
Make the time, do the paperwork, get legally divorced. Believe me, you will feel different when you hold those papers in your hand. It may have made financial sense to be on the same calling plan when you were a couple, but saving $35 per month isn’t financial saavy, it’s a way to keep connection with your ex.
We’re financially bound. Shared mortgages, joint debts and investments, income tax return and vehicle payments — having the ex involved in financial matters keeps his/her presence alive in your mind and life. Worst still, things could turn stressful if he doesn’t do his part in meeting financial obligations. Take the steps now to divide and clean up the mess as best as possible; autonomy means financial autonomy, too.
6) Asking for advice or help — If the only person you can think of to solve a problem or move a heavy box is your ex, you may be looking for ways to stay connected. Google is a modern day miracle for answers to even the most complex problems, and if a box is heavy or furniture needs to be moved, there are other people who could help. 10 Secrets Guaranteed To Help You Move The H*ll On From Your Ex
7) Keeping old photos — Do you still have pictures of the two of you displayed in your home or on your computer screensaver? Pictures stimulate desire and tug at your heart, causing you to reminisce about what was and could have been. They may cause you to weaken and reach out or keep you emotionally tied to the past. If you want to move forward, get rid of them pronto!
8) Visiting places you know your ex visits — If you find yourself frequenting those old familiar places or continually driving by to see if their car is in the parking lot, you may need to break-up with your ex. Finding new hang outs is a good way to meet new people. It’s also a considerate gesture to spare your ex the discomfort of someday running into you once you’re with somebody new.
9) Refusing to cooperate amicably with details of separation — Withholding items or refusing to cooperate amicably with details of separation can be a great way to stay in touch. Sometimes negative communication feels better than no communication and may be a way to fool yourself into believing you’re over your ex, when maybe you’re being obstinate because the truth is, you’re not.
10) Living in the same house — Whatever the reasons, from financial convenience, to kids, to legal headaches, when someone is still living in the same house with their ex, it’s time for a breakup. 8 Signs You Need To Break Up With Your Ex
If you are engaging in any of these activities you may now have a better understanding of why you are still intertwined with your ex. There’s no better time than today to master your mind and make a commitment to step out of stuck!