The Most Powerful Secret to Forgiveness

In my last post, I wrote about how forgiveness can profoundly affect your life: when you release the hardened energy – resentment, defensiveness and anger – around your heart, it actually creates space for love and generosity to enter the picture.

So what does gratitude have to do with all this?

Well, forgiveness doesn’t always happen overnight. In fact, sometimes it can take years of emotional work, sifting through the layers of the hurt, until we’re truly able to release old, hardened emotions. Little by little we get to a peaceful place.

However, there is a tool you can use to close the gap quicker – one I’ve found to be very successful with clients and would like to give you.

Are you ready? I think you’ll love how simple it is and quick! It’s the practice of gratitude. The big question that can really move things forward if answered honestly is this: What can you be grateful for about this person who has caused so much pain?

Gratitude for Our Sacred Friends

The Dalai Lama has a wonderful quote about what he calls “sacred friends.” These are the people who come into your life and push you to grow – and often, it’s a very painful process. Here is what he says:

“Everyone has friends; we all have friends. Friends easy love, easy forgive. But we have our sacred friends. Sacred friends very, very difficult. Chinese government, my sacred friend. Not Chinese people, Chinese government. Chinese people don’t do this; this is Chinese government that does this. The Chinese government is my sacred friend because without the Chinese government doing what they’ve done, I would never have had to evolve my heart to be bigger than the pain they bring.”

What can you be grateful for with regards to the person you need to forgive? What did he or she teach you? How did you grow, what monumental shifts did you experience as a result of that challenge?

Here’s an example. I divorced my ex-husband when I discovered years ago that he was cheating on me with another woman. It was an extremely painful experience, and yet, if I hadn’t gone through that, I wouldn’t be doing the work I’m doing now. Helping women get to the other side of their profound pain – transforming it into peace and finding joy again is my passion and purpose.

Without experiencing the pain of my ex-husband’s actions and the subsequent ending of my marriage, I wouldn’t have realized my purpose.

Let Go and Let Gratitude

Energy cannot flow when you hold on to something tightly, and that includes harsh feelings that prevent forgiveness. When you release those feelings, energy can flow! Love can come in! Gratitude will flood your body!

This week, I challenge you to take on gratitude and forgiveness in a new way: is there someone out there who needs your forgiveness?

I challenge you to reach out to that person, either by writing a letter, calling them, or communicating with them through the ethers. Make the choice to let go of whatever they did or didn’t do and allow the gratitude to flow. A key piece of this will be deeply tuning into whatever it is about them that you can appreciate, whether it was a tough lesson they taught you, or even this process of learning to forgive.

If you’d like help tapping into your gratitude and forgiveness, it would be my honor. Schedule a private session with me today by clicking HERE.

November 15, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to Release the Past and Find Forgiveness

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

-Lewis B. Smedes

Last month on the blog we took a deep dive into the important and life-changing principles of self-love (read more HERE). This month we’ll take on another concept: forgiveness.

The truth is that forgiveness goes hand-in-hand with self-love; you cannot truly forgive yourself and others if you don’t feel, deeply and truly, that you deserve the freedom that comes with forgiveness.

Embrace Forgiveness and Release the Past

For many people, there’s a need to release the past and let go of things that have happened (or not happened) so they can have gratitude for what’s going on right now, in the present moment.

I understand it’s not always easy. I personally just released a huge piece of pent-up resentment and hurt around my dad that had been wallowing somewhere inside me for years. It was tough. And over the years, at times I had truly believed that I’d released it only to find that it was still there. Fortunately, this time I was able to let it go.

CLICK HERE to find out more of how to “let it go” and find forgiveness.

 

November 9, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Renewing your Relationship with your Body

When you think about it, life is about relationships. Every minute of every day you are relating with someone or something—be it your kids, boss, co-workers, friends, family, store clerk, stranger, pet, computer, car, Self, the list is endless.

And the most important relationship of all? You guessed it—your relationship with yourself.

Last week I gave you 6 ways to develop more self loveAnother important component of self-love has to do with your relationship with your body. So at this given moment, if you are honest with yourself, can you say you love your body fully, wholly, and unconditionally?

If you do that is awesome! But if you don’t that’s a message that there is some healing needed in order to shift that “not so nice” perspective. Because you know what? That attitude is not doing you a lick of good in living your best life, in achieving your goals and in how you are presenting to others.

I understand the muffin top horror and the emotions involved. It brings back memories of a time I was 40 pounds heavier, how I felt about myself and the new mental and physical behaviors I adopted to not only release the weight but keep it off for over 30 years. I understand body image is a biggie! One of the most important things I learned is that In order to live, laugh and love with freedom, you need to feel really good about your body image.

And I get it, after 40 the body starts to do a slip-slope, doesn’t it? Ay yi yi and how! I remember thinking it would never happen to me—boy, was I wrong! After going through an early menopause, things shifted, dropped, pouched, and spread seemingly overnight—that’s life though isn’t it? Always changing. So why not create a constant for yourself by appreciating and loving your body no matter what? That is something you do have control over – your thoughts!

Alright then, what kind of relationship have you got with your body? Do you adore and respect every luscious curve? Are you appreciative of all it does for you? Do you pay attention to what it needs—eating nutritiously and exercising so you’re at your optimal health?

Here are a few tips to help you love your beautiful body—even before you start working to release a few pounds, tone, or reshape it:

  1. Look in the mirror and really get that you are a creation of perfection.
  2. Make a list of at least five things you like about your body. Carry it with you if you need a reminder close at hand.
  3. See yourself at your desired weight. Notice the way you walk and talk. Notice what you are wearing, your style.
  4. Make sure to choose exercises that you enjoy so you’ll be more likely to include them in your life on a consistent basis.
  5. Make healthy food choices.
  6. Fill your mind with nourishing thoughts that fill you up.
  7. Have gratitude for your body and all it does for you – arms to hug with, legs to carry you forward, hands to hold and care for others with.

It’s important to honor and accept yourself, love your body as the goddess temple it is. Embrace a new theme in regards to body image and look at exercise as a way to stay fit and strong not only to look good but for internal health as well. This is your new 24-Carat Body Beautiful strategy—the key being, it has to be fun and realistic. You can do it!!!

October 25, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

6 Ways to Develop Self-Love

Every day you are going to be faced with situations that challenge your ability to stay calm and centered. Do you ever wonder what it would take to stay in a state of consistent peace? To be teflon to triggers, neutral to negativity, non-attached to naysayers? It’s possible when you tune into your hearts inherent blueprint for love, joy and happiness. 

But what if you don’t know how to do that? You might be saying, “I don’t know the first step of how to tune into my hearts knowing and it’s frustrating – I get reactive and then obsess about what happened or things that I’ve said I wished I hadn’t and feel stressed and crummy”. 

If you can relate to this it’s a good indication that somewhere along the way you’ve stopped loving YOU. The good news is you have total empowerment to remedy this situation immediately. It does not depend on anyone else. Hallelujah! 

All you have to do is start renewing your relationship with you by practicing more self-love. 

CLICK HERE to find out – Why this matters to you….

October 19, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Open Your Heart and Give without Expectation

One of my married clients was excited to share some good news with me: things were finally shifting within her relationship that had felt stilted, tense and unromantic for years. She gleefully told me on the phone that, “I’m seeing results and I feel more loved and more loving than ever before!”

So what made the difference? She began doing things for her husband without the expectation of anything in return.

What it Means to Give Freely

In the situation I described above, my client had a light bulb moment. She realized that for most of her marriage, she hadn’t been very nurturing at all. Instead, she continually looked for the things hewasn’t doing for her.

When she got this, she made some changes. It looked like this: her husband goes to bed very early during the week because he has to get up at 4:30 in the morning to go to his construction job. So, since she goes to bed later than him, she started doing little things that she knew would make it easier for him to get up early. She prepped the coffee pot so all he had to do was switch it on in the morning. She prepared a water bottle for him to grab and go, and she left him a little note saying, “Have a good day!”

These actions are so simple! And yet, they had a wonderful impact on their relationship.

When she started doing that, he came home from work with a smile on his face – he was looking forward to seeing her! He could tell that she did these things from a genuine part of her heart and since she wasn’t asking anything in return, he felt more connected to her and more loving.

The Principles of Receiving

It says in the Bible, “Give and you shall receive.” I love this phrase because it teaches us that in order to receive, we choose to lovingly and generously offer of ourselves first from a place of genuine caring.

It is a beautiful gift to do something kind for someone because you honestly want to give. The trap can be when we unconsciously give something with the subtle “understanding” that they will give something back, or that they now “owe you.” And often when we give from this place, we fool ourselves into thinking that we’re being more loving and generous than we really are.

Essentially, the principles of giving always, always, always come back to love. What would love do? As soon as you ask yourself that question – even in the most tricky situation – you’ll be able to step back and look at what the other person might need.

And that is one of the easiest ways to polish up your Diamond Power and truly shine your light into the world!

October 12, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to Really “Get” that You’re ENOUGH!

In my work with women, I frequently find myself in the conversation of “I don’t feel like I’m good enough.”

It makes me sad to see so many women walking the earth with a deep sense that they’re simply not enough just being who they are! God made each of us unique, unusual and special – and the sooner we women truly feel that at the core of our being, the sooner we’ll be able to experience the boundless love and joy that we’re meant to feel!

Today, let’s take a look at what this “not enough” belief is all about and how it might manifest in your life….click here for more….

September 28, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to get what you want

Do you ever wonder why you keep attracting the same disappointing experiences? Whether it’s about love, health, wealth or having more fun in life, are you asking yourself, “Why is this so hard, why can’t I figure it out, what’s wrong with ME?” Sheeeeeesh!

Despite all the time you’ve spent reading self-help books, saying positive affirmations till you’re blue in the face, listening to podcasts and expert interviews, going to lectures and workshops, and maybe even investing in therapy, nothing changes!!! You can listen, read, recite, study and sit at the feet of the top guru’s all over the world and still…nothing changes. Ay yi yi pretty frustrating, right love?

You might be thinking you aren’t trying hard enough, or maybe you are feeling like you are fundamentally flawed. Maybe you think it’s your lot in life, or that you have bad luck or crappy karma.

I get it, I’ve been there – it’s discouraging and disheartening to say the least!

I remember trying to get back on track after my marriage unraveled and desperately wishing some magic wand would just tap me on the shoulder and make life groovy again – LOL!

Where I was and where I wanted to be seemed miles apart and no matter what I was doing that gap just wasn’t closing – ever feel that way?

Well I prayed and prayed for a solution – I knew I needed a bridge but didn’t know how to build it….(until I found the secret and life DID become groovy again!!!)

What I’m about to share isn’t just going to give you great aha’s it’s going to change your life!!

The powerful truth is that your experiences in life are based on your INNER self-image. In other words you first need a healthy connection to your beautiful diamond core essence before you will get the results you desire in life. Your action steps are actually influenced by this inner self-image.

In Maxwell Maltz book, The Magic Power of Self-Image Psychology, he says people’s problems have to do with their inner, hidden self-image. People are unhappy and unsuccessful because their hidden self-images compel them to make mistakes, and actually do the wrong thing.

He goes on to say our actions and emotions are consistent with our self-image. You act like the sort of person you think you are – even if you exercise all your will power. If you think you are a failure type person you will find a way to fail no matter how hard you try to succeed. We all carry a mental picture of ourselves – we may not be conscious of it but trust me darlin’ it exists!

So the fabulous news is the self-image can be changed – no matter how old you are or stuck you feel. Once you change your inner self-image from sabotaging to supportive you change your results.

This is the yellow brick road – this is the bridge!!! This is the secret to closing the gap between where you are currently at and where you want to be – hallelujahhhhhhhh!!!

Sparkle Sister it IS possible for you!

Here is a recent post from one of my SPARKLE program clients who is successfully closing her gap:

“TaDa! I achieved my first rank in the company 12 days ahead of schedule. I am so excited! I pushed my comfort zone boundaries by actively participating in meetings where I did not know anyone and by sharing my opportunities with people I did not know. …. I would not have been successful had it not been for the challenge and your support. Thank you so much!” ~S.G.

Right now you might be thinking, “sounds fantastic but how do I do that?”

Great question! Lots of women I talk with think all they have to do is think positively – but if you have a negative opinion of yourself it won’t be effective because there is a conflict in thought.

Like my client you must have the courage to see yourself in a new way and then commit to taking action steps, no matter how scary, that support your new image of Self.

Follow these 3 steps to build a new inner self-image:

1) Get honest with yourself – when you look at yourself in the mirror are you a friend to yourself or is that evil twin sister in charge – filling your head with lies? Get clear that you are a gorgeous child of God and focus on your unique goodness. Let go of past failures and focus on your successes.

2) Install new beliefs that support your new self image

3) Use your imagination to see yourself living the life you would love. See yourself in a loving relationship, at your optimum health and happy, in a successful career, financially free traveling the world, or whatever you desire. The mind thinks in pictures so create some scenarios in detail that your mind can latch onto and bring into existence for you.

Once you build a supportive inner self-image you will have the bridge you can easily cross to close the gaps in love, health, wealth and happiness. Yeehaaa!

September 21, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

What Self-Love has to do with Creating (or Re-Creating) a Quality Relationship

Let’s take a moment and send our love and prayers to all of those who have lost a home or threatened by flooding or wildfire.

With all the tragic events in the world of late I’m not only saddened but reminded that life can be unpredictable. And…life is short.

It can feel shaky at times especially when you are experiencing a natural disaster that you have no control over. Which is all the more reason to build a strong foundation in knowing who you are (and whose you are) to feel empowered in any circumstance.

Are you with me?

Because here’s the thing… whether it’s outer world crises or those inner vexing voices, it’s important to be aware that you have control over your thoughts – that’s about ALL you have control over, but that’s a biggy!

Especially when you aren’t even aware of the thoughts that are motivating your actions and sabotaging your dreams – now that’s scary! Have you ever had the experience of really wanting something, going after it with all your heart, pushing and pushing yourself to get to the goal, and then watching it slip through your fingers just when you thought you had it firmly within your grasp?

Click here to read more about creating quality relationships…

September 12, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to find happiness…that lasts!

In my work with women, I get questions all the time about finding love, connecting with happiness and embracing a sense of forgiveness. Women send in questions about specific situations that run the gambit – but the one thing they all have in common is that everyone is looking for the magical solution that will have them feeling happy, peaceful and free of toxic mind chatter.

I can tell you with a loving smile that you already have the magical solution within you! Yes, even as you read this article!

Truly, the “key” to happiness and inner peace for us as women is really very simple. We need to stop searching for an answer outside of ourselves and realize that everything we need to be completely happy, fulfilled, purposeful and at peace lies within.

This is essentially the crux of my work with women: to experience the results you desire, go within and work on yourself! As you do so you will build a strong connection with your inner Diamond Power and that is where you’ll find all the happiness and joy the world has to offer.

Recently, Becky M* came to me and said (and I’m paraphrasing), “My soulmate of twenty years has decided to leave me. I’ve begged, I’ve tried everything to change his mind, but he’s chosen separation. What can I do? I’m miserable.”

I reminded Becky that, although we love to pin our misery on an outside culprit, we are more empowered than we realize. We all have circumstances, but we don’t want our circumstances to “have us”. If you want to change the way you feel, choose to respond in a way that will allow you to evolve because ultimately, your response determines your happiness. So the good news is, life doesn’t happen “to” you – it happens through you and with you.

Everything we experience we have created for ourselves or called into our lives for a Divine purpose – and most likely it’s a lesson that we need to learn on a soul level. For Becky, the first step to shedding her misery and stepping graciously into her new life is to go within and work on herself.

After all, she can’t control her now ex-husband. Nor could she control him when they were married, either. None of us can control anyone else, really (although we might try!). His departure is her opportunity to look at how she contributed to the separation and grow from it.

Take Responsibility and Heal Yourself

What’s going on in your life that you can take responsibility for?

When my marriage dissolved I was totally blindsided. At first, I blamed him completely – and it wasn’t until I finally sat down for focused self-reflection that I realized I played a big part in my marriage crumbling too. Sometimes when we’re really hurt, it’s hard to see our part, but it’s essential if we want to be happy. Some of my part included not setting healthy boundaries – not respecting or valuing myself or my husband. I was very much in my masculine and tried to control things and of course that pushed him away.

The more I reflected, the more I realized I had a laundry list of behaviors that contributed to my divorce.

Trust me, Sparkle Sister, it wasn’t easy! There were many tearful, ego-quashing moments along the way, but the beautiful thing is that through my realization I was able to take responsibility. Not only for the difficult things in my life, but also for the wonderful things.

I suddenly saw that I could create the life I wanted. After all, I had deftly created a life (without realizing it) that I didn’t want!

As that shift occurred within me and I began to take the reigns on my life, the dynamics of all my relationships automatically changed. When we make changes within, we show up differently and people respond to us differently.

Now, the other people in my life had the opportunity to “spiral up” with me. The great news is, when you shift it changes the dynamics in the relationship regardless because you aren’t hooked into the same pattern with each other.

So, whether you’re struggling within a dull marriage that needs to be rekindled or single and dating, please remember this: you have your Diamond Power. When you honor yourself, your feminine essence and your incredible radiance, you’ll see others begin to shift in response – and it will be all for the positive!

September 7, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Want to feel strong and confident in your decisions?

A beacon of strength, wisdom, and altruism, Wonder Woman has inspired women across the globe. More than ever before, we need strong female role models– exemplified by the recent box office hit, which earned more than $700 million worldwide opening weekend! W.O.W

We long to believe that the power of good will prevail over bad— which is evident with the success of this female-led super hero movie. We want to feel strong and confident in our decisions and who we are, like Wonder Woman, right?

However, let’s be honest: we’ve all had experiences and situations in our lives where we’ve gotten hurt and then, without even realizing it, set up Fort Knox to protect our hearts. At the time that may have served us well and kept us feeling safe, but if we really want love, we’ve got to have the courage to knock down those walls and let the old stories go.

So, how can we be the heroine of our own life?

Click here to find out how….

August 3, 2017  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share