Don’t Forget: Feeling Funky is Optional!!

Sad Woman Option 1If you’ve ever woken up in a funk, feeling “off”, with a sad, angry or fearful heart affecting your happiness I want you to know you are not alone, AND there’s a simple way out:) Hallelujah!

Let’s face it – the ups and downs and curveballs in life will test you on every level – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. To be totally transparent my life at one time was fraught with breakdown in every area – marriage, career, finances and friendships. It was a struggle to clear the clutter, focus and follow through to get to where I am now, positively impacting thousands of women. In all honesty, there were plenty of incredibly painful moments.

After my divorce when I began to rebuild and create a happy life I had to develop a new mindset. I have to admit, at first it was difficult for me to stop blaming others for my lot in life, forgive and forget, get honest and start taking responsibility for my part.

Initially turning my thoughts around seemed an impossible feat, like turning the Titanic around. But as time went by, I was able to stop the suffering, because I was tired of my thoughts taking me down the rabbit hole and I knew that having a happy life was the way out. And, I chose it, and got behind it energetically, with the help of my friends, mentors, healers and God.

I realized I needed mentorship, connection to the Divine, and some serious community support to be able to clear the cobwebs, keep focus and move forward with strength and grace.

And, I found it. I discovered the tools to shift the unhealthy thinking, fill my heart with love and take my power back and I’m totally in love with my life. But more importantly, I’m crazy for my clients and love teaching them what I’ve learned.

I want YOU to have the tools to take your power back so that your life is on fire with fun and emotional freedom – bigger than your fears.

Your fear is never going to go away. You just have to make your commitment to your happiness stronger.

If you know you’re always one foot in and one foot out and have a difficult time keeping your heart happy and your mind peaceful,  click here to schedule a chat with me.  I’ll give you a plan that works.

In the meantime, if you have a heavy heart, try this short exercise I use – it works wonders to take your power back.

• Sit or lie down and start breathing into your heart.
• Imagine all the people who have bruised, hurt or squashed your heart – lovers, family, friends, bosses, teachers etc.
• Start pulling the energy back that you’ve given away with the painful memories/thoughts. See it like a rope of golden energy, being pulled back to your heart, hand-over-hand pulling it in, bringing it home.
• See the golden energy flow into your heart and feel it become expansive with wisdom and reclaimed power.
• Wrap your heart with the gold energy and seal it.

Voila! You’ve just taken your power back in a matter of minutes. How do you feel? Notice the energy coming back in felt cleansed and purified – no pain! This is seriously good, yes?

Use this quick and easy tool every time you feel funky and you will be back to your brilliant self pronto!

If this article made a difference for you please share your comments below:)

November 12, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

I hope you are not doing this…

Sunday night a very wise speaker, Dr. Drew Sams, opened my eyes and mind with a powerful question. It had such an impact on me I want to share it with you.

What are you pouring your life into?

He began by holding up a bottle of Veuve Clicquot and talked about its value. Depending on the restaurant and time of year (New Year’s Eve being the coup d’ etat) it could range from $100 to $350 a bottle. He went on to say this champagne even holds a royal warrant from Queen Elizabeth 11. Impressive. No one in the room disagreed with him – it was acknowledged to be very valuable champagne.

Next he showed us a trashcan filled with coffee grounds, banana peels and used tissues. He then uncorked the bottle and started pouring it into the trash…getting the visual? Wow, just like that, the Veuve lost its value!

There’s something about a visual that really brings home the truth, isn’t there? You could hear a pin drop as the audience was quietly taking in the point – no matter how valuable you think you are or are perceived to be – the minute you start pouring yourself into garbage, you lose your value.

My mind immediately flew to all the things I have put my energy into both in the past and present that are a total waste of time, dilute my essence, and make me weary and downright ugly at times. Mama mia so many things!

What about you? What are you pouring your life into? Can you see where you might be engaging in behaviors that diminish your beautiful essence?

Click here to read the full article and discover a method to help you avoid these destructive behaviors.

November 6, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Are you giving up on yourself when you really want something?

photoAre you giving up on yourself when you really want something?

Have you ever fooled yourself into believing you could “skip” a step or two and still get what you want?

Well I sure have. The 10K Mud Run I participated in last weekend is a great example. Since I’ve been working out with a group for the past 6 months – religiously following the schedule except for one small exercise – I thought I was in shape for this race.

It turned out I wasn’t as prepared as I thought…you see the one “small” exercise I consistently ditched was STRENGTH training and little did I know the Mud Run would have 15 obstacles (a la Private Benjamin LOL) including climbing a knotted 14 foot rope and ringing a bell – SERIOUSLY???

I couldn’t get past the first knot! In fact there were a couple of obstacles I didn’t complete because I didn’t have the upper body strength… and I quickly learned, all those work-outs I told myself I didn’t need (and avoided I might add) were KEY to my ease in getting through all the obstacles.

What I clearly got was I had been fooling myself! My coach put strength training in the mix for a reason – I had not followed her plan because I don’t like weight training – it’s HARD and BORING. So every time that exercise popped up on my workout schedule I massaged my ego with excuses that got me off the hook. But guess what? Doing it MY WAY made that race HARDER and I actually injured myself.

Not being adequately equipped for the Mud Run race made me weary and a bit disheartened humbly reminding me what I thought I was getting away with came back to bite me in the you know where LOL.

Did I ever learn a great lesson!!

Since then I have completely shifted my mindset around strength training because I now know it’s KEY in preparing me to handle challenges with more confidence and ease.

It’s only the willingness I’ve had to see what isn’t working and do the work to change it that has helped me create a life I love.

Why am I telling you this? Because this translates into every area of life and you are probably doing something similar and not getting the results you want. Ask yourself where you’re doing things your way and running up against the same problems again and again?

Avoiding something because it’s uncomfortable or hard or different or you just don’t want to do it will keep you stuck and suffering in a life that’s much more difficult than it’s meant to be.

One of my early mentors told me the only difference between successful people and people who do not achieve their dreams is that successful people do what other people don’t want to do. They are constantly challenging themselves to take it up another level with their mindset and skill set so they are prepared to navigate the curve balls of life with confidence and ease.

Question for you: where are you fooling yourself and skipping steps that will change the way you think and create new behaviors that will help you get what you want and lead a more fulfilling life?

Maybe you want a deeply loving relationship but freeze every time you want to express yourself – do you keep procrastinating getting the help you need to clear that block? Or maybe you bottle things up and when you can’t take it anymore explode hurting your kids, partner and friends – do you wave your behavior aside saying, “That’s just me” – putting off healing your anger and learning a different communication style? Or maybe you want a change in job or career – do you continue searching for jobs on the same sites, not open to trying a new resource?

Whatever it is you want in life, are you skipping steps that might seem hard now but will ultimately make your life easier?

The way you think is what got you where you are today (we’re not talking about the positive beliefs and ways of being, only the other stuff).

If you want a more fulfilling life here are 3 basic things you can do to get what you want with more ease:

  1. Be honest with yourself about the step you are skipping
  2. Change your mindset about the step you need to take
  3. Take action – do what you need to do and develop not only the mindset but the skill set that will allow you to go after what you want with confidence and high energy.

Practice these 3 steps and you will start living a sparkling life you love!

October 30, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Unleash Your Inner Sparkle to Create Confidence, Joy and Sensuality!

Hey! Just a quick reminder that tomorrow, Friday, at 5:30 pm PST I’ll be speaking about how to ‘Unleash Your Inner Sparkle to Create Confidence, Joy and Sensuality’ at the highly­ anticipated Dating With Dignity Summit 2.0: Everything You Need to Know to Date Successfully as a Smart, Strong, & Dignified Woman.

“Unleash Your Inner Sparkle to Create Confidence, Joy and Sensuality” is available now for FREE!

During this FREE talk you’ll how something as simple as cleaning out your closet can bring incredible results that literally change your life.

You’ll also learn how to bring out your sparkle and show off your sexy, flirty, feminine side. As well as 5 easy makeover and shopping tips you can use to spice up your love life instantly!

“Unleash Your Inner Sparkle to Create Confidence, Joy and Sensuality” is only available at no cost to you for the next 24 hours, so listen now before it’s too late!

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

PS – Marni Battista has enlisted more than 25 of the world’s top dating and relationship experts to share their best and most effective advice on men, sex, relationships, dating, body image, confidence and more! You don’t want to miss “Unleash Your Inner Sparkle to Create Confidence, Joy and Sensuality”

October 23, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

Everyone is Committed to Something

Everyone is committed to something.

But the BIG question is are you committed to a life that supports you or that sabotages you?

Here’s the deal…not many people would say they are committed to a life that sabotages them yet their desires and dreams always seem to be just out of reach.

Watch this video to discover 3 easy steps to
manifest your dreams and strengthen your commitments!

P.S. I always like to help people like you reach ultimate success
and access more happiness. If after watching the video you’d like me to help tweak your clarity and commitment then click here.

October 16, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

How to Bring on the Happy!

Last weekend I hiked to the top of Skull Rock Ridge with a new hiking group (getting a jump start on Halloween LOL). A bit challenging with a 1,500 foot elevation gain in 2 miles but spectacular views of the Santa Monica Bay once sitting atop the skull.

I had a blast and it lead me to share this message with you.

We are now officially at the beginning of the last quarter of the year…I invite you to do a quick check-in. How happy are you and are you making time to live into a higher vision for your life?

In the beginning of the year I had a dream to be of greater service – in the video below I share how that played out, what I learned and what I was inspired to do.

I’m sharing this with you because I want this for YOU…to live a bigger life. And it is soooo possible for you!

Here are a few key questions that can help you find your next calling in life to have more fun and open your heart.

1) What lights you up?
2) Why is it important for you to engage in whatever lights you up?
3) How would you show up if you were doing what lights you up? How would you be different than you are currently?

Answer these questions and then book a time with me to go over this new vision and I’ll show you a plan to make it happen.

—–Go here to speak with me—-

This will hold you accountable to do it so don’t miss the scheduling link if you want this plan to happen!
It’s your life and it’s worth playing into…I promise!

October 2, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

3 Crucial Steps to Get Unstuck

I’d be willing to bet many of you fabulous gals reading this are tired of suffering, tired of feeling stuck and just plain old sick and tired of living in the past and letting your ex monopolize your mind. If this speaks to you, this video is right up your alley!

In the video below you will learn how a new life IS possible! I share the 3 steps I used to let go of the past and get out of my rut. These are the same steps I give my private clients to create a successful sparkling life. They work for them, they’ll work for you:))

 

 

If you are sick and tired of suffering and want my help to let go of the past click here to book some time with me.

September 25, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

5 Mistakes That Could End Your Relationship

5 Mistakes that Lead to DivorceAre you asking yourself, how did it get to this point? Especially since the day you got married it seemed like you had the world at your feet! Weren’t you so full of hope and excitement for the future? Seriously how often have you seen an engaged couple head to the alter with anything less than enthusiasm, bubbling with expectation of their happily ever after?

So, what happens when the honeymoon phase is over?

After having countless conversations and coaching many people who find themselves in less than desirable circumstances in their marriages and/or partnerships – wondering how they got there ( at one time myself included) – I discovered this is a pretty common scenario.

The divorce rate in America is 40-50% for first timers and even higher for those giving it another go. So many couples unknowingly make mistakes that lead to the dissolution of love.
Are you making a relationship mistake that will lead to divorce?

Check out the top 5 mistakes that lead to divorce:

#1 Making the kids your #1
Have you fallen into the common pitfall of putting your kids before your marriage? Any parent knows how hard it becomes to keep the romance alive once kids come along. Mothers especially can become victim to placing priority on the children. This misguided precedence will take its toll on the marriage and can set the stage for separation.

It was through intimate love for your companion that created your family and that love needs to be fostered. One of the best ways to foster intimacy with your partner is to set regular date nights. This time away from your roles as mom and dad will allow you to reconnect with each other and connection is key to an enduring union.

#2 Focusing on the Negative
Negative thinking can easily snowball out of control. Once we start focusing on negative thoughts about our partner, it’s hard to stop them. Therefore, it’s wise to be mindful of the true importance of any transgression.

If your spouse is abusive or exhibiting other detrimental behaviors, calling it quits can be the best option. However, if you realize that your irritations are not deal breakers, try to release your negative thoughts. After all, no one is perfect. Both your mood and your marriage will benefit from positivity!

Try writing your partner a love letter or simply make a list of all the reasons you married your spouse. These simple affirmative acts, practiced often, will help your union to no only survive but to thrive.

#3 Expecting your partner to make you happy

If you aren’t truly happy with yourself, you won’t be happy in any relationship. While a fulfilling marriage can add a level of bliss to life, it shouldn’t be your only source of joy. It isn’t fair to expect your partner to deliver you value, happiness or a sense of self worth. These can’t be supplied externally. Happiness must start from within and only then can overflow to be shared with others including your spouse.

If you’ve lost sight of your own value or are having a hard time experiencing joy, working with a therapist or coach can help you rediscover your brilliant essence. Realizing and cultivating your own greatness will transform both your esteem and your marriage for the good.

#4 Respect for your spouse:

Respect is a cornerstone to a healthy marriage and creating mutual respect is vital to the longevity of your union. Teasing, eye-rolling, and public trash talking are all things that should be avoided at all costs.

Teasing is especially destructive to a marriage because cutting remarks can wound deeply. Even if said in jest, some comments just aren’t funny. Plenty of couples will tease each other in what starts as playful banter but can quickly degrade into hurtful jabs.

Make sure you communicate respect to your spouse at all times. Your partner will be more willing and able to lavish you with love and affection when they feel respected and this respect will help your marriage flourish.

#5 Choosing “me” instead of “we”

While it’s vital to practice self-care and nurture your own needs, be careful not to constantly choose “me” instead of “we”. Focusing solely on your own needs will cause you to abandon the needs of your relationship. Rather than living two separate lives inside of your marriage, ensure that you commit to activities that you enjoy doing as a couple. Connecting with each other regularly is imperative to creating a divorce-proof marriage.

While no marriage can ever truly be divorce-proof, avoiding these 5 common mistakes will keep your marriage healthy and increase the longevity of your love.

 

 

September 17, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

What to do when you are STRESSED OUT

imagesDo you ever feel like you just can’t catch a break? I’m not talking a day or two here or there – I mean weeks, months, maybe even years.

I get it – since April it seems like it’s been Mr. Toads Wild Ride – lots of health issues with my dad, rifts with my sisters, searching for a new home, de-cluttering and prepping for my move, my aunt passing, coming home from the funeral to find a beehive the size of a football field in the backyard, fever blisters up the ying-yang, the beautiful teacher I sponsored in Liberia dying a sad and untimely death at 33, business expansion – you name it, it’s happened LOL. But you know what? It’s really just life.

Sometimes it rains and sometimes it pours and sometimes it’s like a tsunami coming at you – very rarely is it just peaceful.

So how do you create that peace in the chaos? How do you follow your truth no matter what? Stay on track with your vision?

Read the full article here to find out how to stop stressing through life and start enjoying it!

September 11, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share

6 Steps to Get on Track with Your Truth

attachmentHave you ever gotten off track with your truth?

Or ignored that calling in your heart that wants to come out to play?

Goodness knows I have at times in my life. It’s frustrating isn’t it?  One minute you’re clear as day and the next caught up in a mire of distractions that cleverly keep you from living on purpose and in joy. I like to call these detractors Radiance Robbers. From emails to grocery shopping to people pleasing to external validation, these sweet talking bandits hi-jack your happiness.

And over time you start to feel pretty miserable because if you allow distractions and sabotaging behaviors to run your life you aren’t in integrity with who you are. You aren’t committed to YOU and when you can’t commit to yourself chances are others won’t feel compelled to commit to you either.  Mama mia what a life we create when we abandon ourselves!

One of the ways I was living out of integrity was putting my soul calling to write a book on the back burner. I had a boatload of excuses as to why the timing was never right but just like a beach ball you struggle to keep under water, those inner tugs kept popping up… insistently.

Until one day I had the courage to say “YES” and immediately all the discomfort faded away and was replaced with an excitement that I was going to do what I was here to do. That changed the trajectory of my life for the better a million times over and it will do the same for YOU.

So how do you follow the truth in your heart no matter what? Whether it’s writing a book, running a marathon, changing jobs, getting married or getting divorced – if you want to be happy, living in integrity is not a choice. You know you are out of integrity with yourself when you feel like something’s “off” or missing or flat lined or worse.

The way back is to get honest with yourself and then take some key steps to start honoring your truth. Whether that means hiring a coach to help you write your book or overcome emotional blocks, setting up accountability with a friend to train for a race, talking to a divorce attorney to separate from someone who is emotionally or physically abusive – you have to take steps. Does it take guts and gumption? You bet – but boy does it feel good!

Here are 6 steps that will help you successfully loosen up the energy of stress and get on track with your truth.

  1. Vision – Create a visual of the end result – I did a mock up of the book. That looked like designing a cover, printing it out and wrapping it around a book. Voila! What can you create that is a symbol of your dream? Have fun with this!
  2. Why – what is your why? This is super important as it will carry you past your excuses
  3. Yack about it – tell your friends and family – it makes it more real. There is such power in verbalizing your dream – bringing a stronger level of commitment to it – this is also a way to close the back door.
  4. Take action! – Take an action step daily towards your dream – whether it’s research, talking about it, writing, hiring support, visualizing – every step takes you closer to actualization. And by the way, you don’t need to know all the steps – take it one at a time. I love that saying, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time”J).
  5. Accountability – set up a structure to hold yourself accountable. Harvard has done studies that show successful people put support systems in place to keep them on track. It’s human nature to slide – know thyself and set yourself up not only for success but to stay in integrity with your commitment.
  6. Date – choose a finish date. Setting this intention moves you forward faster. If you aren’t finished on time, don’t beat yourself up, simply create a new date and celebrate how far you have come! I moved my date out a few times and it didn’t take anything away from the sheer joy I felt when I held my book for the first time.

Part of what makes these steps easy to accomplish is having some fun in your life while you are making these hard transitions. Get your gal pals together for some girlfriend getaways, go dancing, listen to music, let go with laughter yoga, embrace your passions whatever they may be so that you clear your mind and stay connected to the truth that’s in your heart.

Did this make a difference for you? If so please leave a comment below – I love hearing from you:))

August 28, 2014  |  Uncategorized  |  No Comments  |  Share