When I found out my husband was cheating on me, I was so stunned that my whole body started shaking and it didn’t stop shaking for a week. I lost 10 pounds in 5 days because I was in such a state of utter shock.
It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me and I had no safe place to land.
Can you relate to that, Sparkle sister?
My husband had gone out to get his international newspaper when I walked into his office to find something. I wasn’t a jealous or snoopy wife at all; I never “checked up” on him or went through his things because I trusted him.
But when I was in his office that morning, the phone rang and a woman’s voice came through. She had a syrupy southern drawl, saying, “Hey sweetie, I just found us an apartment! Now I’m on the way to the doctor…”
I picked up the phone and snapped, “Who is this?” but she hung up immediately.
That’s when the shaking started, and it didn’t stop. I felt like a blow-up doll whose plug had just been pulled: now I was whirling and twirling around the room with no direction.
You see, I thought I was doing everything right, dear heart, which is why it was such a traumatic revelation. I was a supportive, loving wife, and I was the breadwinner.
During the weeks that followed my discovery, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, “I don’t even know who you are anymore. I don’t recognize you. I don’t connect with you. I don’t even know if I like you.”
I felt like an empty shell of a person.
My lovely, sweet reader, if you are going through this right now, or ever have gone through this…
Wow is that empowering or what???
The challenge is our awareness of this gift. There’s that part of us that gets amnesia and just goes with whatever comes into our minds – letting it have it’s way with us, affect our feelings, our mood and ultimately our experience and results in life. Ugggh, not a fun way to live.
If you can relate to feeling like an innocent bystander to this steam rolling saucy side you are not alone. I used to let that cheeky voice take me right out of a happy mood until one day I had an “aha” and discovered a simple solution to get her under wraps.
I remember taking a walk one early Sunday morning about a year ago. The sun was just peeking over the horizon, wafting a dreamy glow on the whole beach. The sounds of ocean waves lapping at the sand and seabirds rousing themselves just made this morning delicious.
I thought to myself, “Ahhh… it’s so quiet… no one’s awake yet except me.”
It was about as close to perfect as you can get. That is, until I came across another woman on the path who was talking on the phone.
She was speaking so loudly that she was almost shouting. I couldn’t understand what she was saying because it was in a different language, but it didn’t matter; her volume would have annoyed me whether or not I could comprehend her words.
My thoughts quickly turned sour and the enchanting, crisp morning vanished almost instantly. I thought, “You gotta be kidding me! She’s breaking the whole magic of this moment!”
Catching myself, I took a deep breath and said, “Okay, Sherri, how can you turn this around to get your morning sparkle back?”
It occurred to me that since the woman was speaking in another language, I had no idea who she was talking to or what she was saying. “Maybe,” I thought, “she’s talking to her mom.”
The thought brought tears to my eyes. I lost my mom three years ago and I would have given anything in that moment to be able to talk to my mom.
With that, my heart completely opened up. “How sweet,” I now thought to myself, “She’s probably talking to her mom.”
I created a story that she was having a great conversation with her mother, who she loved dearly, and it didn’t annoy me anymore. She didn’t change, but I changed.
There’s a beautiful lesson in this experience, lovely one: we don’t have to depend on other people’s behavior to create our happiness. We nurture it lovingly within ourselves.
And the best news is, you are a dynamic, creative and dazzling person – so you have a lot to be happy about.
All you have to do is consciously create a mind shift. Declare an intention that you are willing to see things in a positive way and voila you have opened yourself up to the opportunity of a new empowering idea or thought to light up your mind. Seriously, it happens that quickly – when you open up to it.
Not to mention you will be so much happier when you consciously choose the thoughts that make you feel good! You can do this dear heart!
Would you like some help creating confident thoughts that empower you? Click HERE to set up a time to chat with me or my team – we would love to guide you to your most confident self.
Many of you know visualization is important but you may not have a full understanding of WHY it’s important – basically because the brain thinks in pictures AND the subconscious is sensory based.
Even knowing that though, have you ever had the experience of visualizing, thinking you are doing everything right, only to be disappointed that your heart’s desire has not yet manifested? I certainly have.
Then I came across the key to manifestation and I want to share it with you because I know how frustrating it can be not to get the results you expected. Thoughts like, “This stuff doesn’t work” or, “Why isn’t this working for me?” flooding your mind.
Fortunately there is a formula to get lift off on your desire. It’s simple. There is a way to rocket charge what you crave – bringing it the magic momentum necessary to bring it into existence, pronto!!
I take my clients through a POWERFUL 3-step process called “VAK to the Future” that helps them hook…
What would I do? What would I think? What would I let go of? What would be a big deal?
People love to post quotes on the Internet about “living each day as though it were your last,” but it’s not too often that someone actually does it.
How would YOU spend your last day on Earth, gorgeous?
Here’s how I spent mine.
On a summer day, I hopped in the car and drove down to see a really good friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a long time. During the drive, I was incredibly aware of my senses: I could feel the steering wheel under my hands, I could hear the hum of the engine and I could smell the fresh air spilling in through the cracked windows.
I was aware of the vibrant color of the sky and the pearly white clouds shimmering above.
In the moment, I was overcome with such an overwhelming sense of awe and gratitude for my life and for God that I started crying.
All I was doing was driving down the road, something we do about every single day here in California, and yet it felt incredible, spiritual and sacred.
The rest of the day was a series of blessings: yoga and deep,” unraveling” conversation with my friend, caramel biscotti and latte treat, sitting outside with my mom, holding hands and listening to the birds sing, ending the day with a movie I wanted to see.
I did the things that I looooove and spent time with people who mean the world to me. I was powerfully aware of every moment, and everything seemed to shimmer with opportunity and blessing.
As a matter of fact, that day I received a phone call out of the blue (or so it seemed but we all know when you’re flying high AMAZING gifts come your way) from a colleague offering to connect me with a New York Times best selling author who ended up helping me lay the groundwork for my book!
That said I have a challenge for you!
I challenge you to take on this exercise – it will change your life!
Spend one day doing only things you love, as though it were your last day on the planet.
Use these six questions as a guideline to plan your extraordinary day:
a. What would you say and to whom?
b. Who would you spend time with?
c. What would you do?
d. Where would you go?
e. What would you eat?
f. What would you let go of?
This exercise is especially important to do if you find yourself resisting it, honey child, because it means there is a divine experience just waiting for you on the other side:))
Would you like guidance in creating a life filled with joy and gratitude? One that connects you with your Sparkle Factor? Click here to set up a time to talk to me or my lead consultant and we’ll create a plan together that leaves you feeling eager to take on life again.
Would love to hear how you spent your imagined last day on earth!!! Please post and share below
Sparkle Sister, have you ever had “one of those days”? You know, the days where everything just seems to go wrong? The more you wallow in how challenging things are, the worse they seem to get until you feel like you’re plummeting headlong into a downward spiral and the whole day is a bust?
Yeah… we’ve all had days like that.
But did you know that “upward spirals” happen, too?
That’s right, sweetness! In the same way our energies can spiral down, they can also spiral up and have you in a clearer and clearer space of love and exuberance as the day goes on.
The upward spiral is where magic happens. Out of the blue, someone will call you with an opportunity, or your partner will bring you a beautiful rose, or a stranger will give you a vibrant smile.
Upward spirals come from a place of connection, gratitude and joy. They happen when you’re living in a space of honoring your soul, opening your heart and thinking healthy, nurturing thoughts.
So, how can you create an upward spiral today?
Are you a fence sitter?
Even if you know what you want, do you sit and wait until conditions are perfect to take action towards a life you would love?
That might look like:
a. waiting for your kids to graduate before doing anything for yourself
b. waiting till you think you have enough money saved to feel comfortable investing in yourself and your dreams
c. waiting till you have more time
d. waiting till you lose weight
e. waiting till you get out of overwhelm
f. waiting till you feel ready, or,or, or!!!
Can you relate?
Dearheart, this life you are living is not a dress rehearsal! We don’t get another go round. Starting today you can choose to make your life absolutely unforgettable. You can do this!
I know it can feel scary to dance outside your comfort zone, but that new samba is the magic key to your growth and happiness.
Watch this video to learn the three steps my clients take to fly off that fence and LIVE a bigger life!
If you are ready to move forward – make a bold choice to get support today – either myself or one of my team would be honored to help you with a plan to take that leap – click here to schedule a time to chat.
Have you ever looked at another woman and thought, “Things seem to be going so well for her; why isn’t MY life moving forward in the same way?”We’ve all felt a little envious at times when things aren’t going so great for us and others are seemingly soaring.
As women, we work for years to cultivate our careers – and many of us keep our radar up on those around us – noticing who has skyrocketed, who has stayed flat and who has disappeared. A sad truth is that many of us find ourselves comparing and basing our identify (aka “value”) on where we fit in and how our accomplishments stack up against others and their material success.
On a different path but along the same line, some women have spent their lives caring for loved ones and built a wonderful home life but just like the career gals, they are compelled to compare. Secretly doing some inner questioning around their parenting skills… are they doing as good a job as the other moms?Unfortunately this leaves them either feeling “proud and superior ” or ” insecure and inferior”.
To this point, I recently got into a conversation with a woman who told me she had invited a long time friend over with her kids for lunch and was thrown off her center because her own kids were having melt downs. She shared that her friend took over and with total ease and grace put together a fabulous lunch for them.
Because she was not firmly in her foundation she let the stealth committee of her mind hi-jack her confidence and began to feel very inadequate preventing her from seeing this gesture from her friend as a gift.
The challenge is we expect so much of ourselves..we expect ourselves to be perfect. That’s a lot, a lot, of pressure baby!
The truth is there will always be someone who is better at something than we are and conversely we will be better at something than someone else.
The key to your joy is recognizing this and accepting yourself for who you are instead of constantly comparing to get your value.
Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It is too true. The moment we begin to compare ourselves to others, we rob ourselves of any potential joy.
Instead of giving in to the temptation to compare yourself with another person, put these three ideas into action to compassionately give yourself the gift of joy…
Maybe you hold a great job that took years to cultivate, or you’re married to a kind and generous man but the relationship has gotten stagnant and you’re not sure why.
You might think, “Boy, this all looks great. So why do I feel so dull?”
Often, we work so hard to get to the destination that we completely forget to nurture the special spark of creativity and play that we started with.
Here are 5 things you can do today to free yourself from the feeling of “stuck.” I promise that you’ll feel the sparkle begin to stir within after you try even one of them!
1. What would you love? In this moment, right now, ask yourself, “What would I love? What would make me feel absolutely luminous?” Maybe you would love to plan out a luxurious bath for yourself tonight, or maybe you just need to step away from work and take long, deep breaths for five minutes. Recognize how you can nurture yourself and take action! Staying stuck happens when we continue to do the same things over and over again expecting different results. The bridge between where you are at (feeling stuck) and where you want to be (genuinely happy and excited about your life) is built by taking action steps to support the vision. Those new action steps create an energy that is in harmony with your vision and that is when THINGS START MOVING!! Like magic, before you know it, you are no longer stuck. Yay!
2. Spend Time with a Girlfriend. Sharing a bond of love and friendship with another woman is extremely important – it will put the dazzle back in your smile. Make it a priority to call up a girlfriend or two and set a date! Connecting creates oxytocin the “feel good” hormone. It’s amazing how quickly you can shift your energy by having a heart-to-heart and feel fabulously rejuvenated – do it today!
3. Move Your Body. When was the last time you enjoyed exercise? A walk around the park or an introspective yoga class may be just what you need to release stress and re-light your inner fire. Choose movement that inspires you. Exercise also brings fresh oxygen to the brain and therefore fresh perspective and solutions to those nagging thoughts that are weighing you down. Most importantly having a regular routine of fitness increases your confidence and gives you the courage to deal with your life more effectively bringing more happiness!
4. Express Appreciation. I’ll let you in on a little secret: men love to be appreciated. If there’s a special man in your life, find a way to open your heart and tell him why you’re grateful for him. Watch him puff up like a peacock – inspired to do more for you. Your genuine appreciation will bring you more support and connection.
5. Practice Vulnerability as Strength. We often forget that opening our heart and sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings is not a weakness – it’s a great asset, and it’s how we stand in our radiant power as women. Granted it can be a little scary…but you can do it!! I challenge you to empower yourself today by acknowledging your emotion, whatever it may be, and living in a space of open communication with the people in your life. You will create those deeply loving relationships you crave by letting your courage leading the way:))
Practice any or all of these 5 steps and you will definitely get yourself out of your rut – leaving stuck in the dust and living a life you love!
Ay yi yi! Don’t believe that hooey for a second!
You can have both a deeply connected, loving relationship and continue to see the success you enjoy in your career. You don’t have to choose between the two – that’s a complete myth.
Why? Because it all comes down to your beliefs.
What you choose to believe about yourself and your life will always be reflected in your outer experience. This means that you may have to do some work around your belief systems (for instance, if you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t buy it – life just happens – I don’t have anything to do with the things that happen to me” then you know there might be some self-reflection in the cards).
The truth is life happens THROUGH us not TO us.
So yes, there is work to be done, honeychild, but the rewards at the other end bring a new passionate magic to your life. Hallelujah!!!
Many career women forget to hold a vision for themselves detailing what their life would look like if it included a wonderful, expansive and sizzling partnership in addition to a successful work life.
Going from day to day with that vision can change everything: it is a blissful reminder to step into our feminine energy after a long day at the office. After all, two men in a heterosexual marriage won’t work! A lot of successful women try to be the alpha male in the partnership, and unconsciously push men away.
So, how can you continue to enjoy the success you have at work while at the same time experience a deeply passionate and fulfilling relationship with a significant other?
Ask yourself these five questions:
1. Do I have a vision for my success in love AND money?
2. Do I believe in my vision, truly feel that it is possible?
3. Can I feel the difference between my masculine and feminine energies?
4. Am I actively choosing to flip into my feminine when I’m interacting with my partner or potential partners?
5. Am I actively choosing self-love by caring for myself and honoring my needs?
Staying present and conscious in the moment – making choices that honor both your career AND love life is the magic bullet that will give you both:))
When you think about summertime, does a big smile creep across your face? Summer is a season that evokes happy memories for many of us: the days are longer, the weather is inviting and it feels like opportunities for new adventures wait around every corner!
You don’t have to jet away on a luxury vacation to feel re-inspired and reinvigorated this season. Even if you have career or family obligations that keep you at home, you still have a chance to put the sparkle back into your step during the hottest months of the year.
Start by asking yourself these two questions… What can I do that will bring freshness to my life? What would I love?
Sometimes we forget how simple it can be to do things that we love. Bring some of your favorite aspects of summer to life by identifying what they are and planning to do them. A backyard BBQ, a special cake that your mother used to make every summer, a picnic at the park…
Imagine for a moment the first step you could take today to do something that really lights your fire.