Sparkle Sister, have you ever had “one of those days”? You know, the days where everything just seems to go wrong? The more you wallow in how challenging things are, the worse they seem to get until you feel like you’re plummeting headlong into a downward spiral and the whole day is a bust?
Yeah… we’ve all had days like that.
But did you know that “upward spirals” happen, too?
That’s right, sweetness! In the same way our energies can spiral down, they can also spiral up and have you in a clearer and clearer space of love and exuberance as the day goes on.
The upward spiral is where magic happens. Out of the blue, someone will call you with an opportunity, or your partner will bring you a beautiful rose, or a stranger will give you a vibrant smile.
Upward spirals come from a place of connection, gratitude and joy. They happen when you’re living in a space of honoring your soul, opening your heart and thinking healthy, nurturing thoughts.
So, how can you create an upward spiral today?
Are you a fence sitter?
Even if you know what you want, do you sit and wait until conditions are perfect to take action towards a life you would love?
That might look like:
a. waiting for your kids to graduate before doing anything for yourself
b. waiting till you think you have enough money saved to feel comfortable investing in yourself and your dreams
c. waiting till you have more time
d. waiting till you lose weight
e. waiting till you get out of overwhelm
f. waiting till you feel ready, or,or, or!!!
Can you relate?
Dearheart, this life you are living is not a dress rehearsal! We don’t get another go round. Starting today you can choose to make your life absolutely unforgettable. You can do this!
I know it can feel scary to dance outside your comfort zone, but that new samba is the magic key to your growth and happiness.
Watch this video to learn the three steps my clients take to fly off that fence and LIVE a bigger life!
If you are ready to move forward – make a bold choice to get support today – either myself or one of my team would be honored to help you with a plan to take that leap – click here to schedule a time to chat.
Have you ever looked at another woman and thought, “Things seem to be going so well for her; why isn’t MY life moving forward in the same way?”We’ve all felt a little envious at times when things aren’t going so great for us and others are seemingly soaring.
As women, we work for years to cultivate our careers – and many of us keep our radar up on those around us – noticing who has skyrocketed, who has stayed flat and who has disappeared. A sad truth is that many of us find ourselves comparing and basing our identify (aka “value”) on where we fit in and how our accomplishments stack up against others and their material success.
On a different path but along the same line, some women have spent their lives caring for loved ones and built a wonderful home life but just like the career gals, they are compelled to compare. Secretly doing some inner questioning around their parenting skills… are they doing as good a job as the other moms?Unfortunately this leaves them either feeling “proud and superior ” or ” insecure and inferior”.
To this point, I recently got into a conversation with a woman who told me she had invited a long time friend over with her kids for lunch and was thrown off her center because her own kids were having melt downs. She shared that her friend took over and with total ease and grace put together a fabulous lunch for them.
Because she was not firmly in her foundation she let the stealth committee of her mind hi-jack her confidence and began to feel very inadequate preventing her from seeing this gesture from her friend as a gift.
The challenge is we expect so much of ourselves..we expect ourselves to be perfect. That’s a lot, a lot, of pressure baby!
The truth is there will always be someone who is better at something than we are and conversely we will be better at something than someone else.
The key to your joy is recognizing this and accepting yourself for who you are instead of constantly comparing to get your value.
Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It is too true. The moment we begin to compare ourselves to others, we rob ourselves of any potential joy.
Instead of giving in to the temptation to compare yourself with another person, put these three ideas into action to compassionately give yourself the gift of joy…
Maybe you hold a great job that took years to cultivate, or you’re married to a kind and generous man but the relationship has gotten stagnant and you’re not sure why.
You might think, “Boy, this all looks great. So why do I feel so dull?”
Often, we work so hard to get to the destination that we completely forget to nurture the special spark of creativity and play that we started with.
Here are 5 things you can do today to free yourself from the feeling of “stuck.” I promise that you’ll feel the sparkle begin to stir within after you try even one of them!
1. What would you love? In this moment, right now, ask yourself, “What would I love? What would make me feel absolutely luminous?” Maybe you would love to plan out a luxurious bath for yourself tonight, or maybe you just need to step away from work and take long, deep breaths for five minutes. Recognize how you can nurture yourself and take action! Staying stuck happens when we continue to do the same things over and over again expecting different results. The bridge between where you are at (feeling stuck) and where you want to be (genuinely happy and excited about your life) is built by taking action steps to support the vision. Those new action steps create an energy that is in harmony with your vision and that is when THINGS START MOVING!! Like magic, before you know it, you are no longer stuck. Yay!
2. Spend Time with a Girlfriend. Sharing a bond of love and friendship with another woman is extremely important – it will put the dazzle back in your smile. Make it a priority to call up a girlfriend or two and set a date! Connecting creates oxytocin the “feel good” hormone. It’s amazing how quickly you can shift your energy by having a heart-to-heart and feel fabulously rejuvenated – do it today!
3. Move Your Body. When was the last time you enjoyed exercise? A walk around the park or an introspective yoga class may be just what you need to release stress and re-light your inner fire. Choose movement that inspires you. Exercise also brings fresh oxygen to the brain and therefore fresh perspective and solutions to those nagging thoughts that are weighing you down. Most importantly having a regular routine of fitness increases your confidence and gives you the courage to deal with your life more effectively bringing more happiness!
4. Express Appreciation. I’ll let you in on a little secret: men love to be appreciated. If there’s a special man in your life, find a way to open your heart and tell him why you’re grateful for him. Watch him puff up like a peacock – inspired to do more for you. Your genuine appreciation will bring you more support and connection.
5. Practice Vulnerability as Strength. We often forget that opening our heart and sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings is not a weakness – it’s a great asset, and it’s how we stand in our radiant power as women. Granted it can be a little scary…but you can do it!! I challenge you to empower yourself today by acknowledging your emotion, whatever it may be, and living in a space of open communication with the people in your life. You will create those deeply loving relationships you crave by letting your courage leading the way:))
Practice any or all of these 5 steps and you will definitely get yourself out of your rut – leaving stuck in the dust and living a life you love!
Ay yi yi! Don’t believe that hooey for a second!
You can have both a deeply connected, loving relationship and continue to see the success you enjoy in your career. You don’t have to choose between the two – that’s a complete myth.
Why? Because it all comes down to your beliefs.
What you choose to believe about yourself and your life will always be reflected in your outer experience. This means that you may have to do some work around your belief systems (for instance, if you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t buy it – life just happens – I don’t have anything to do with the things that happen to me” then you know there might be some self-reflection in the cards).
The truth is life happens THROUGH us not TO us.
So yes, there is work to be done, honeychild, but the rewards at the other end bring a new passionate magic to your life. Hallelujah!!!
Many career women forget to hold a vision for themselves detailing what their life would look like if it included a wonderful, expansive and sizzling partnership in addition to a successful work life.
Going from day to day with that vision can change everything: it is a blissful reminder to step into our feminine energy after a long day at the office. After all, two men in a heterosexual marriage won’t work! A lot of successful women try to be the alpha male in the partnership, and unconsciously push men away.
So, how can you continue to enjoy the success you have at work while at the same time experience a deeply passionate and fulfilling relationship with a significant other?
Ask yourself these five questions:
1. Do I have a vision for my success in love AND money?
2. Do I believe in my vision, truly feel that it is possible?
3. Can I feel the difference between my masculine and feminine energies?
4. Am I actively choosing to flip into my feminine when I’m interacting with my partner or potential partners?
5. Am I actively choosing self-love by caring for myself and honoring my needs?
Staying present and conscious in the moment – making choices that honor both your career AND love life is the magic bullet that will give you both:))
When you think about summertime, does a big smile creep across your face? Summer is a season that evokes happy memories for many of us: the days are longer, the weather is inviting and it feels like opportunities for new adventures wait around every corner!
You don’t have to jet away on a luxury vacation to feel re-inspired and reinvigorated this season. Even if you have career or family obligations that keep you at home, you still have a chance to put the sparkle back into your step during the hottest months of the year.
Start by asking yourself these two questions… What can I do that will bring freshness to my life? What would I love?
Sometimes we forget how simple it can be to do things that we love. Bring some of your favorite aspects of summer to life by identifying what they are and planning to do them. A backyard BBQ, a special cake that your mother used to make every summer, a picnic at the park…
Imagine for a moment the first step you could take today to do something that really lights your fire.
Sometimes love gets lonely. Even in the best relationship, you can occasionally feel alone and isolated. That sense of separateness can feel like a canyon dividing you’re relationship.
At some point, discussions about mutual interests, goals and dreams, stop entirely and conversations become purely transactional (e.g., “We need milk,” or “Did you remember to pay the water bill?”), or focused exclusively on the children.
We can also fall into daily routines that create both physical and emotional distance. For example, one person watches television in the den while the other is in the office on the computer. In short, we lose the love and the affection but we stay in the relationship creating the feeling of being lonely in love.
So, what is the real reason we become disconnected and lonely?
Here’s a hint – disconnect happens when you start living from your head instead of your heart.
It’s easy to slip into this scenario – he says something that hurts your feelings and suddenly you don’t feel so free to share your inner thoughts. That is when the wall goes up that blocks out love and connection.
If you’ve been lonely in love, you don’t need to accept your isolated situation. There are steps you can take to remove the blocks to connection and regain intimacy you once had with your partner.
Here are 4 Steps to Rekindle Love:
1. Take the initiative. If you’re lonely, chances are your partner is lonely too. You may both feel trapped in an unhealthy cycle of emotional disconnect. Take the reins and initiate a conversation for connection. Ask them for their views about something they care about and make sure to demonstrate you’re listening. Validate their thoughts and emotions. Don’t expect them to reciprocate right away, as habits take time to change. With time, they’re likely to warm up to your new found interest in connecting and reciprocate the attention.
2. Create shared experiences. Think back to the type of activities you used to enjoy together and make a list of things you and your partner can do together. Having trouble? You can start by suggesting activities that require little effort (which will minimize objections) such as taking a walk around the block or in the park, cooking a meal together, or watching a movie together. Take time to reminisce by watching your wedding video together (reminding yourselves of more connected times). Sharing pleasant experiences together is a sure fire way to bring back connection!
3. Practice patience and forgiveness. Chances are your partner won’t always do or say exactly what you expect them to. Be patient, understanding and forgiving. Remember your goal is to rekindle the love and not to focus on every transgression! Expressing more sympathy and understanding toward them will deepen your mutual bond.
4. Focus on the positive. Your thoughts are creating an energy in your relationship that can be felt as your “vibe”. If you’ve been focusing on everything that’s wrong with your relationship, chances are you’ve had a bad vibe and have been unhappy. Make efforts to shift your focus to the positive. Think about the things you love about your partner and the aspects of your relationship that you appreciate. Try writing your partner a love letter or simply make a list of all the reasons you married your spouse. These simple affirmative acts, practiced often, will help your union thrive.
Practicing these 4 steps will move you to a more loving state and can pave the way to a happier more connected relationship.
I just had the most exhilarating experience – an early morning bike ride from the summit of Maui’s Haleakala with a group of vacationing adventure seekers (that’s me and my soul sister Saskia with our fearless biking leader in the pic above.) As we winded down the volcano for 26 miles I felt fantastically alive with the wind on my skin, the beauty of the island, and the thrill of the ride shared with new friends. I am feeling so lit up and happy!
This trip was a huge reminder of what happens when you stay open and listen to your heart. It inspires newness, brings passion back into your life filling you with happiness. Wow, so simple, right? Sometimes we forget how easy it is to become happy. We forget we are always creating our lives with our behavior, thoughts, ideas.
How to open your heart to happiness and love
I recently watched a documentary on Happiness and how to achieve that in your life. What they said is that the key to happiness lay in the following formula or 5 must haves:
As I write this I’m packing my bags, and about to leave for a vacation I’ve been SO looking forward to! I’m off to Hawaii for 6 days of research and rest with one of my favorite friends and I can’t wait!
I’m so excited to have a new adventure, share memories with my gal pal, discover beautiful sites and experiences for my upcoming retreat, and meet interesting new people.
I plan on having the most fun ever, but here’s the thing, having fun and being open to exciting opportunities is all in your head!
Let me tell you why.
The mind believes what we tell it, if you repeat over and over, that your life is challenging, you think you’re fat/ugly/too old/too whatever to have fun, find love, get great opportunities, the brain believes it!
It’s all a state of mind!
Right now you might be feeling less than excited about your day, it’s more about fulfilling responsibilities than a life. Of maybe you are in a chronic state of worry about what you don’t want to happen, or you are feeling lonely or sad. If you allow your mind to dwell and wallow in those places all the time you will stay STUCK exactly there.
So… what if you chose life-giving thoughts instead? Imagine waking up with a genuine, “I can’t wait to start my day” kind of attitude. When you put this kind of vibe out into the world it will change your life, get you unstuck, guaranteed.
All it takes is looking at each day as if you’re on vacation. Make fun a priority, and expect great things to happen.
It’s been scientifically proven that we attract what we put out. So embrace life with zest and zeal and the most outrageous things will begin to happen. Unlimited abundance. Magic. Plan to pinch yourself daily while shouting, “I LOVE my life!” Ahhh, bliss!
Think about how open and carefree you feel on vacation—it’s heaven! You tingle in anticipation of the new things you’ll see, the adventures you’ll have, the quality time you’ll spend with your loved ones, the rest and relaxation you’ll have at last. There are new friends to be made, new foods to be savored and new experiences to be had. Life outside your normal routine thrills your spirit and fills your body with excitement—you can practically taste the wonderful times ahead.
Opening yourself to new opportunities is about greeting each day with this same enthusiasm. Expect to have fun, expect good things to happen to you, expect things to go well for you, expect to see and do things that delight you.
All you have to do is conjure the feeling of being on holiday – the beauty is your mind doesn’t know the difference; it will help you attract glorious opportunities and outcomes to your day just because of that shift in energy.
If you are finding this mindset shift challenging pull out your favorite travel picture and put it where you will see it first thing in the morning. Gaze at the photo as long as necessary to recall the good times and feel yourself filling up with positive memories.
And then pay attention to life giving opportunities that come your way – stop saying no when your girlfriends invite you to the beach, or to get drinks, or (OH MY GOSH) to go out dancing. Say yes when your partner asks you to join him for some R & R – let your laundry list of “do’s” go – it will always be there. Get our of your own way so you can open yourself up to the fun and love you so deserve.
See these opportunities as an adventure! Jump In! Get Your Sparkle back!
You can’t experience life for all its joy, its fun and its abundant LOVE if you stay in a mindset that keeps you stuck. Step outside your comfort zone, accept that you need to be OPEN to new experiences!
If you are looking for a summer of fun, and hopefully LOVE, then its time to put yourself into a vacation vibe. Join a cooking class, or take on a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, like pottery, or a running club maybe, something that gets you into a mixed group of people around your age and who all have the same goal, to enjoy life!
If you have a great group of friends, make plans that will create opportunities for socializing and fun!
Here’s the secret: put yourself out there.
This summer, don’t be the one sitting at home wishing you were at the beach, or out having summer fun and lovin’ create the opportunities that put yourself ‘out there’ where fun and love can happen and watch your world and your happiness grow and soar!
Oh!! And bringing more happiness fun and love into your life has also been the topic of the online series I recently created, The Sparkle Summit, which you can still listen in on and better yet, get a copy of! Find out more here.
For many years I let self-doubt, fear of being judged and criticized as well as worry about what others would think hold me back from pursuing my dreams of writing a book and living a bigger life. … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome my fear of not being good enough kept me stuck.
Most people face this faltering place at some point in their lives. The key question is: how do you overcome your fears?
What I’ve discovered is that fear is overcome with courage and action – consistent baby steps that build self-confidence and healthy self-esteem. With every step you start to believe in yourself a little more – you start to lean in and love yourself a little more – and with that you start emanating and projecting a certain magic mojo. Self-respect and confidence open up new possibilities and doors begin to open that move you in a whole new positive and exciting direction.
For me, developing my confidence is what helped me overcome my fear of not being good enough, and finally pursue my dreams.
I still have that old fear crop up sometimes. But now I know that I can beat it, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side victorious and more confident for having had the courage to try.
I’ve practiced boosting my confidence to overcome fear many times over the years, and that success fuels further success. It’s something that I now teach my coaching clients; how to build confidence and create happiness one step at a time.
It is possible, and actually exhilarating, to take control of your life by taking control of your self-confidence. When you take actions that improve your competence and your self-image, you can increase your confidence and go forward with gusto. Yeah baby!
Below, I outline 12 things that will help you instantly boost the confidence you need to move in the direction of your dreams. Self-confidence creates positive changes. Your dreams truly are attainable. By making one choice at a time, you can choose to experience all that you desire. The sky is the limit!
None of these tricks is something you don’t already know – in fact some of them are very simple. But sometimes we need a reminder because sometimes that part of us that doesn’t want to move forward likes to make things complicated so we stay stuck. Let’s change that pronto!!!
I promise you that as you take new actions, your results will change. By making new choices frequently you will develop new habits. And, fresh habits will change the fabric of your life so that it unfolds in new and exciting ways. These 12 tricks are some of my favorite things, stuff that’s worked for me.
Pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. Have fun with this!