“THE YOUNG BOY said to his grandfather, ‘I have two wolves barking inside of me. The first wolf is filled with anger, hatred, bitterness, and mostly revenge. The second wolf inside of me is filled with love, kindness compassion and mostly forgiveness. Which wolf do you think will win?’
The grandfather responded, ‘Whichever one you feed.’”
Wow what truth!
Take a minute and ask yourself, “which wolf do I feed?”
And then take it a step further and reflect on which wolf feasts when you are going through a rough time. Do you bring in the second wolf of self-love or do you stuff the wolf of self-bashing?
How do you treat yourself? Be honest. It has everything to do with your happiness.
If you are constantly beating yourself up with judgment, criticism and guilt you aren’t going to have the mental or physical strength to presence as the woman you want to be.
On the other hand, if you support yourself with gentle, kind nurturing thoughts it’s going to be much easier to feel joyful and show up as the empowered leading lady of your life.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said: “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
So who do you want to be?
It’s important to have a clear vision and knowing of who you want to be and equally important to take actions that support your desire.
First create a clear picture of who that woman is –design her from the inside out. A great way to do this is to sit with a journal and write down character traits and qualities that inspire you or that you admire and wish to adopt.
Next thumb through magazines – what style of dressing attracts you and expresses your personality and feminine essence?
If you find one picture that says it all rip it out and put it where you’ll see it daily (when I was divorcing I found a picture of Manola Blahnik shoes that symbolized everything I wanted to become and put it on my bulletin board at work – LOL – but hey, just looking at it lifted my spirits!)
You may also find several pictures that speak to you and create a collage. The idea is to become clear about who you want to become and stay focused on this.
Next you want to notice what stops you from becoming this unforgettable woman. What thoughts run through your mind, what fears paralyze you and keep you stuck?
What lies are you telling yourself about what’s possible for you. What negative voices are telling you, “ha, who are you kidding, you’ll never pull that off, you’re too old, not good enough, not special enough …blah, blah, blah – feeding that annoying attack wolf again.
Whoooah, let’s pause, take a breath and turn this wolf around!
How, you might ask, do you do that?
Here is a 3-step process to develop more self-love so you can become the leading lady of your life from this day forward.
1) Identify the underlying thought that blocks you, stops you, basically sabotages your movement forward.
2) Locate where that thought is in your body and place your hands over it – dialog with curiosity and love.
3) Imagine a beautiful Divine diamond where the dis-ease is in your body and see that gem light up like it’s in a Tiffany showcase. See angelic hands pouring pure pink crystals over and around the diamond filling you with love.
Do this until a peace washes over you and you feel calm and relaxed. Rinse and repeat every time wolfie #1 gets out of control and you will soon be showing up as the true, magnificent woman you envision.
Let me know if this was helpful by leaving a comment below.
Are you, like so many women over 40, having trouble accepting your age?
Do you find yourself looking in the mirror and thinking YIKES!! Maybe saying to yourself, “OMG, where did that new wrinkle come from? And…whoooah look at those puffy dark circles (note to self – stop at Sephora immediately for ‘bag’ control )…eeeesh nose hairs, what is happening to me???
Many of my clients have confided they are having a tough time accepting that they are getting older. They feel like they’ve lost their sparkly sex appeal and are downright depressed about the reflection staring back at them.
What about you?
Would you like to feel better about aging? Accept the inevitable with grace and ease? Be able to connect with that part of you that’s confident and ignore the inner critic, that big fat judge that won’t budge?
Do you want to feel beautiful in WHO you are? Confident and comfortable in your skin.
So how do you get there?
In this video, I share two powerful questions that I give my clients when they need to get clear about their inner diamond value.
You will also learn how to ignore your evil twin (the one who sits on a soap box in your mind and fills you with bad juju thoughts) and instead tune into your inner angel – the one who will help you fall back in love with yourself.
Take a moment to think about this. If you aren’t experiencing the love you desire are you silently slinking inward, wondering what’s wrong with you and unwittingly closing off your heart creating a barricade against love? The truth is many of us put up barriers around our hearts – we just don’t realize it right away.
You don’t have to be single to dread Valentines Day – its just as stressful, if not more so, if your heart is shut down, or you feel alone in your relationship.
Why is this important?
In the weeks leading up to Valentines Day, we are bombarded with images both on TV and social media, with a very consumer driven view of what love is, or should be.
A client of mine shared with me that she used to be disappointed if her man didn’t make a big deal about Valentine’s Day! She’d get really upset if there were no roses, no dinner, or special gift that made her feel adored. Really? Was this love?
Here’s why this is relevant:
We all want to experience deeply connected love. Being in a healthy, loving relationship is a rewarding and fulfilling life experience! But sometimes, without even realizing it, women can close off their heart and block out love.
Thinking everyone else’s needs are more important than our own we disconnect from ourselves. This is a way we stop loving ourselves. When we stop loving ourselves we begin to close off parts of our heart to others too.
How does this happen?
Here’s a clue – you block out love when you start living from your head instead of your heart.
~When you get stuck in your head, you not only lose touch with your heart-based love, you lose connection to others. ~
The best way to stay in your heart is to live in joy and gratitude – this will automatically fill you up with warm, expansive love.
Getting the love you crave starts with YOU. You must BE love to attract love. Many women I speak with say they want someone in their life to make them feel important, special loved. Most people have that innate desire and deserve such adoration. But here’s the thing – in order to attract that into your life, you need to be feeling that way about yourself FIRST. It’s magnetic – be that sparkling woman who loves herself and draw them in like honey.
Unfortunately, the tendency to toughen up after heartbreak, vowing to stay strong to protect ourselves from future hurt, a current relationship that is disappointing, unfulfilled, and un-luscious can all prevent us from living in a happy and healthy loving state.
So how can you identify when you’re out of balance, or living in a closed off and protective state, absent of juicy-joy?
Here are five questions to ask yourself:
1. Do I nurture my needs, show myself compassion, truly love myself?
2. Am I able to forgive myself for past wrongs?
3. Am I able to forgive past hurts from others?
4. Do I blame myself for all that is wrong in my life?
5. Do I blame others for what is wrong in my life?
If you’re not in sync with any of these questions, then it’s time to shower yourself with some extra TLC.
Imagine being enveloped with self-love and acceptance… how amazing that would feel? Don’t you want that?
To start with, use the following affirmations in your daily health regimen:
1. I am WORTHY of love.
2. I RELEASE my pain and forgive the past. I am free to love.
3. I am LOVING towards myself and others.
As you practice these affirmations daily, you’ll begin to feel your desire for more love in your life. You may notice that you feel more loving toward yourself and others.
Here are five heart-juicy actions to incorporate into your daily life to continue to expand your heart center:
1. Sing. Sing in the shower. Sing in the car. Sing as you clean house or go about daily chores. Sing with your favorite singer or group or sing solo. Let it rip! Allow yourself to sing out loud and sing out strong—you’ll feel your heart expand as you do. I bet you’ll even notice a great big smile on your face. Now, how awesome is that!
2. Play with a child or pet. Both children and animals live in the present moment. A child’s laughter is contagious. An animal’s unconditional love is healing. Both children and animals remind us to lighten up, and not take everything so seriously. They also show us that it is possible to let go of past hurts and move on. So, go play; have fun and lighten up!
3. Spend time in nature. Mother Nature reminds us to just BE. She also shows us that all is as it should BE. Enjoy a walk near water, or stand amongst a grove of tall trees. Have a picnic in a meadow of flowers. Get quiet and listen to the messages from nature; the singing and chirping of birds, the rustling of the leaves as the wind blows, the sound of the water as it bounces across rocks in a stream. Let nature soothe and heal you, and remind you that you are amazing and fabulous just because you’re YOU.
4. Figure out what brings you joy and happiness and do it! If this seems difficult to identify, think about what you loved doing as a child. As children, we loved feeling joyful and happy and we loved to have fun. Did you like to ride your bike, roller skate, roller blade, play hopscotch, swing, jump rope, play ball, swim, surf, curl up and read a book or did you like to pretend you lived in an enchanted land? Think back and remember who you were as a child—it’s the biggest clue to what will bring you joy as an adult.
5. Spend time with someone you love. Spending time alone is great, but hanging out with your best girlfriends can be even better to connect you with your heart. Sometimes we want to be in a group, but at other times you might just need some good ol’ heart-to-heart talking with just one person you love and trust. Those we love and who love us are our best mirrors for how amazing we are.
As you do more to open your heart and live from your heart, you’ll find yourself experiencing joy and gratitude more regularly. Not only will life feel more expansive as a result, but also your relationships will feel more deeply connected. And that’s the best of all worlds!
This month show yourself some lovin’! You will find that when you truly love yourself, that loving others is easier, more heartfelt and more rewarding!
If you find you are struggling with this, I want to support you. Use this link to schedule a complimentary 30 minute “heart opening” strategy session. You deserve to enjoy an open heart and deep love!
I’ve been thinking about you and want to give you a free Sparkle consult…Yay!
I just cleared my schedule to make sure we have a chance to chat…
I’ve been getting a lot of questions from ladies about the upcoming SPARKLE group coaching program and you may also be wondering if this is the right course for you – or if some other course or coaching might be a better fit…
Because truthfully this program isn’t for everyone…
It’s a great fit if you’re really looking to get unstuck quickly and become the most happy, love-filled version of yourself by summer.
If this sounds like YOU:
Claim your free consult right now by clicking here or by going directly to my online scheduler:
***If you don’t see a time that accommodates your busy life, please send an email to Sherri@UnleashYourSparkle.com with “Love to chat Sherri!” in the subject line and 3-4 time options (include your time zone) between Monday the 2nd and Friday the 6th and we will get you scheduled)
Even though I’ve cleared my schedule next week there are still a very limited amount and they will go fast…
The thirst for a life you love is so strong you can taste it. Ahhh… to have the freedom to be bold, beautiful and bodacious – to finally lift the veil and be seen – to easily express the many facets of your femininity.
Yes, yes and hell YES!
Until your best friend questions what you’re doing, your honey isn’t thrilled with the new you and things start getting hard – the curve balls have arrived.
Anyone who’s dared to dream knows that the initial excitement will eventually be met with some form of obstacle or resistance. So, how do you stay the course and overcome the challenges that pepper the path to your dreams?
The first step is to recognize that a challenge is not a dead end. Indeed it’s a growth opportunity – a chance to become more mentally strong, develop your self-worth, own your value.
When a challenge arises, it’s important to keep a positive mindset and not to give up. After all, a detour on the way to work wouldn’t keep you from getting to your end destination. So why would you let a detour on the path to your dream keep you from reaching your aspirations?
Today I’m going to share the 3 most common obstacles people encounter on the way to their dream and how to recognize these culprits and lasso them.
Viva la dream building!
The 3 Biggest Obstacles to Achieving Your Dream & 3 Solutions
Obstacle #1 – Self-doubt
Fear, doubt, and worry are like leeches to your dream. The ego will keep you doubting your decisions, fearful of change and questioning if you can really do this thing. It will tell you all the reasons why you can’t reach your goal. Its job is to protect you in a safe little cocoon and therefore it will resist any form of growth and expansion in your life.
Solution #1 – Know your WHY
When you feel fear and anxiety creeping up, you’ll need to step out of that thought pattern. Take a deep breath and begin to focus on the “why” of your dream. Why is it that this dream is important to you? When your “why” is big enough, the how will appear.
Ask yourself, what’s one step you can take from where you are right now, with what you have, to move toward your goal?
Your dream vision will unfold one step at a time. Even the longest journey begins with just one step. What one step can you take now?
Obstacle #2 – Sabotaging Habits
Most people want a life that’s warm, fuzzy and filled with fulfillment. Yet we go through life blaming our circumstances for the life we have, not realizing we are responsible for co-creating life with our thoughts and words. We let our sabotaging habits run the show and then feel like a victim. If we are dissatisfied yet do nothing to change, we will continue to live a mediocre life at best.
Solution #2 – Become the Leading Lady of Your Life
Take responsibility for creating the life you want. You are the leading lady of your own life. Do the work to “know” what you want and “choose” those things. You are in the driver’s seat to create the life you love. You can move out of victim mentality, out of feeling stuck, and out of being irresponsible for life’s outcomes. You can choose to move into responsibility, possibilities, personal power and limitless opportunities.
Obstacle #3 – Distractions
Distractions can keep you stuck in a rut. Have you ever started on a priority but you look around and there’s the laundry or there’s a pile of mail you haven’t gone thru? Then you notice there’s that drawer you wanted to clean out, or you get a call from a friend and instead of letting it go to voice mail you pick up and spend an hour chitchatting with her, or you check your email or get on Facebook?
These distractions can keep you on a permanent detour from getting to your dream!
Solution #3 – Stay focused & Set boundaries
Achieving your dream is going to require focus and effort. Set aside time regularly to work toward your aspirations. Treat this time as a VIP priority. Make sure you turn off all distractions. Put your phone on silent and close your email application.
Think of distractions as your archenemy in the field of your dreams.
Remember the importance of achieving your goal as you create your vision. If any distractions start to pop up, remember what they are and that you can make a choice of how to deal with them.
It’s time to take center stage and harness the power, control and responsibility for your thoughts and actions so you can be empowered to create the life you love.
Here’s to being bold and unstoppable on the path to your dream. You CAN do it! I believe in you. Happy visioning!
Love to hear your comments – was this helpful?
How about you?
What do you want to create, bring in, live into?
Wherever you are with your plans for the New Year, I want to shake things up for you. Just as I realized in order to expand I’ll have to live on the edge of my comfort zone, so will you if you want to live your best life.
Scary? You bet.
But wow – garnering your gumption to step outside the box can also be exhilarating and create the confidence you crave to be the leading lady of your life.
You see, living your BEST year involves a commitment to a way of being. It’s realizing that life is full of choices and that we are each empowered to make choices that bring us the most joy, the most growth and the most fulfillment.
For me that means overcoming the fear of being judged, being seen. Not caring what others think, staying true to my inner guidance even when it’s in conflict with those I love.
What does it mean for you?
Last year I learned a powerful lesson from listening to a group of iconic women. They shared their secrets to a happy and fulfilling life. What do you think they said?
If you guessed taking risks and stepping out of your safety zone you are right on the money.
According to these inspiring women, that’s when life becomes magical and you are truly living into your genius and greatness.
Click here to read the full article and learn 3 hot tips on how to shake up your routine and live life to the fullest.
If you want you can stop reading and check out the opportunity right now:
I remember stepping into 2014 with a mission – stop living life like it’s a dress rehearsal and start living out loud. A burning desire to be of higher service became the focus of my year - mind you I had no idea what that looked like or how to make it happen – so I prayed and trusted I would be guided.
Sure enough I was led to attend a life-changing event that taught me how to live “as if” my vision was already happening (nothing like ” The Secret” – remember that movie? I watched it 60 times and never saw a single result. DreamBuilder LIVE is the real thing). I’ll never forget the tears that streamed down my face during an exercise where I literally felt myself living my dream – to say it was powerful would be an understatement.
I left the event with an incredible peace – still not knowing HOW it was going to happen but having that inner knowing that it WOULD happen.
After the event, to be honest, I got busy and kinda forgot about it until a few months later when a tremendous opportunity landed in my lap. An invitation to go to Africa to be of service – to speak to a group of 400 teachers on issues of women’s empowerment and leadership in Liberia and deliver water systems to 3 villages. I was thrilled and immediately remembered “the event” I had attended that allowed me to have the dream – my friend and mentor Mary Morrissey’s DreamBuilder LIVE.
This provided me with a HUGE lesson – permit yourself to dream, really FEEL it to be true, TRUST if it’s meant to happen the opportunity will present and then… LET IT GO.
DreamBuilder LIVE is a life transforming experience. You won’t see things the same way afterwards. You will truly have new eyes. The results you’ll create will take your life to awhole new level just like it did mine. I want that for you
If you haven’t heard of Mary Morrissey, here are just a few of her credentials: best-selling author of 3 books, had her own PBS special, created 2 multi-million dollar businesses, spoke 3 times at the United Nations, held week-long meetings with His Holiness The Dalai Lama, the list goes on and on… you know I only steer you to the cream of the crop – and that would be Mary – you will LOVE HER!
The normal public ticket rate for Mary’s DreamBuilder LIVE is $1495 but she is allowing me to offer it to you for $329 – it’s an exclusive Friends & Family rate for the people I care about. (Yes, you!) I LOVE IT when I get to bring you the very best stuff like this!
But that amazing rate is NOT FIXED. It will keep going UP as we get closer to the event (in January) or until tickets sell out. So grab your spot now:
Let me just say that this is THE international manifest-your-dreams event of the year, and it ALWAYS sells out.
You’ll create a vision for your life, network with heart-centered professionals from all over the world, and make quantum leaps in your business and personal wealth building strategies!
DreamBuilder LIVE has huge momentum now, with people flying in year after year from all over the world to be there (50+ countries!).
Listen to what attendees have had to say about this amazing event by watching the video on the registration page
All I can say is: You definitely want to be in that room where dreams are born. This is an event that truly transforms lives. But the tickets sell out super fast every time, and the Friends & Family rate will keep increasing as the event approaches, so don’t miss out!
Here’s that link to the private “friends and family” website. This is a very high-class event, and you can go for the cost of materials. My advice is: Jump on it!
I can’t wait to hear about your experience
Today is a very special day – it’s a day to dream, to blossom, to expand, to recommit to living as the off the charts happy, fun-loving, successful (whatever that means to you) person you desire to be.
If you are like most people you’re setting goals and resolutions for 2015. Seeing it as a chance to start fresh – to do things differently than last year, change those habits that kept you from living the life you REALLY want.
The truth is, as most of you know either from personal experience or observing loved ones, very few people actually realize their resolutions. The initial excitement wears off, “triggers” get the best of you, nasty radiance robbers get super clingy and those sabotaging habits win out.
BUT…here’s something you may not know – there are ways change happens and ways change doesn’t.
After hearing renowned author and psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, speak at my church about how to create success with resolutions, I wanted to share his research with you so you can make sure you get the change you desire this year.
Let 2015 be the year you learn how to make change happen!
Dr. Cloud started with a personal story about how he travels a lot for work and had consequently put on a good deal of weight. After reading a self-help book on how to take the weight off, came to the conclusion that setting a goal, setting a resolution and saying I’m going to do this differently – and then doing it…doesn’t work.
He realized he couldn’t do it on his own – he needed to reach outside of himself for help. So he hired a personal trainer to reach his fitness goal and that worked.
He went on to say there are two systems of change in the universe:
a. The Law
The Law goes something like this:
a. You set a standard that you want to be
b. You have the rules on how to get there
c. You try to reach it and every time you don’t you are counting how much you have failed
d. You start focusing so much on the failure the dream goes by the wayside.
Change doesn’t happen like this. Period.
Grace has to do with unmerited favor. That means that something is brought forward for us to reach that standard. This is important because most of us don’t have the self-discipline to do it on our own.
Grace brings discipline that you on your own don’t possess. That looks like a friend or support group or coach that shows up consistently to help you stay the course. Simply put, self-discipline is born out of other discipline. That’s Grace. Having others bring to you what you do not possess.
Our natural thinking around change is to think, “This is how I ought to be” and we try to reach upwards to achieve that standard. This is The Law.
And Grace is about the standard coming down to you – giving you the tools and support to help you stay the course.
Sometimes we need a wake up call. God/The Divine/Source whatever you believe in will often give us a nudge (and if that doesn’t work it’s a 2 x 4 ouch!) to help us see what is lost or broken in our lives. He wants us “get it” – to heal and have a better life. Fortunately you will be guided, if you listen, to something or someone to help you course correct.
Maybe your relationship just broke up and you are heartbroken and you want to get back to who you used to be – a grief support group or coach will suddenly pop up to help you get through the pain. Otherwise it can be overwhelming and a lengthy healing process.
This is Grace – someone giving you what you don’t possess to help you reach the standard.
If you have a child think about sitting down and giving them the skills and abilities to work thru a class rather than say they better get a certain grade. This is Grace.
When we use our gifts to benefit each other we are living on purpose – we are sharing the various forms of Grace.
The various forms of Grace are what you do for your kids and loved ones and what your friends, support groups, coaches do for you – give the strength/tools to help reach the standard when you don’t possess the know how or discipline.
So wherever you are with your plans for 2015, I invite you to reach for Grace to ensure your resolutions are successful and you can enjoy your best year EVER:))
Sometimes you hear something and it’s shocking – really floors you.
That’s how I felt when I discovered 3 out of 4 women experience chronic stress. And now with all the holiday extra’s thrown in, it could be even higher.
Mama mia how to keep your sparkle with all that radiance robbing going on?!
So be honest, how are YOU holding up? Do you have a plan in place to combat the seasons stress bandits?
As a woman you know all too well how stress can affect your energy leaving you feeling tired and out of sorts. It’s easy to lose sight of your divine radiance when you’re juggling the day-to-day demands of life. Even the most evolved woman will occasionally feel out of touch with her strengths.
Can I be honest with you? I’m right there with you – the last few weeks have been rough both professionally and personally with my dad back in the hospital.
So I did something that brought peace AND joy back into my heart and I’d like to share it with you in hopes that it will help you get happy too.
It’s something so easy and simple. Sometimes we forget how easy it is to get out of the rabbit hole to feel “whole” again.
Click here to read the full article and learn a quick tip to help shake off the holiday slump and revitalize your spirit.
One important thing I’ve learned about living a life of happiness that’s full of richness is that it requires one very special ingredient – FUN!
No matter what is going on in your life if you are able to laugh and play you can endure anything! When you are having fun the heavy veils lift, the sky’s open and fairy dust comes pouring down to brighten your heart and give you a fresh perspective.
This time of year is perfect to add some fun into your life – there are so many festive things to do for the holidays.
Are you in?
I know you have a lot on your plate this month but before you say you don’t have time consider the cost of pushing yourself to exhaustion:
a. crazy stress that affects your health
b. short tempered – maybe even yelling at your kids unnecessarily
c. feeling disconnected in your relationships
e. so tired you collapse at the end of the day only to get up the next day and do it all over again.
Woudn’t it be great to give your mind and body a break? To love yourself enough to say, “Hey, I deserve to enjoy my life and I know if I’m happy that’s going to flow out to my kids, partner, friends, co-workers and make everyone’s life happier!”
And that’s the key – it’s our connection to self and others that gives life it’s richness and adds meaning to our precious time on earth.
There is a ton you can do on your own or with friends and family this month. I have some annual traditions I’ll share with you plus other idea’s you can engage in to bring a sparkle to your soul:
a. Holiday walks on trendy shopping streets (The pic above is me and one of my best gal pals kicking off the holidays on Montana Ave in Los Angeles)
b. Listen to your favorite holiday songs and sing your heart out
c. Dance to Santa Baby while baking sugar cookies
d. Walk or jog thru a neighborhood with holiday lights (I did this the other night and went 6 miles I was so mesmerized!@)
e. Cozy up with a holiday movie and a cup of eggnog – ( have you seen The Last Holiday with Queen Latifah or Holiday with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz? Sooo feel-good happy!!)
f. Charity based home tours decorated for the season (just did this over the week-end with some friends and it was so festive).
g. Church music programs – doing this Sunday with several friends
Taking time for yourself is crucial but it’s also super important to touch base and reconnect with your girlfriends. This connection is critical for living a magnificent life – it allows you to taste a smidgeon of the carefree life we had before work and family responsibilities became our priority.
Your friends love you, laugh with you, and stand by your side when facing fears and upsets. They validate that you are not alone, crazy, or paranoid. They inspire, support and uplift you, providing the type of therapy that no money can buy because it’s all wrapped in loving care.
As a matter of fact, research now tells us friendships are even more critical to our health and well-being than family relationships. Just one more reason to revel in the joys of girl time this holiday season!!! Now go have some fun!!!!
Love to hear your thoughts on this article – please leave your comments below.