Or ignored that calling in your heart that wants to come out to play?
Goodness knows I have at times in my life. It’s frustrating isn’t it? One minute you’re clear as day and the next caught up in a mire of distractions that cleverly keep you from living on purpose and in joy. I like to call these detractors Radiance Robbers. From emails to grocery shopping to people pleasing to external validation, these sweet talking bandits hi-jack your happiness.
And over time you start to feel pretty miserable because if you allow distractions and sabotaging behaviors to run your life you aren’t in integrity with who you are. You aren’t committed to YOU and when you can’t commit to yourself chances are others won’t feel compelled to commit to you either. Mama mia what a life we create when we abandon ourselves!
One of the ways I was living out of integrity was putting my soul calling to write a book on the back burner. I had a boatload of excuses as to why the timing was never right but just like a beach ball you struggle to keep under water, those inner tugs kept popping up… insistently.
Until one day I had the courage to say “YES” and immediately all the discomfort faded away and was replaced with an excitement that I was going to do what I was here to do. That changed the trajectory of my life for the better a million times over and it will do the same for YOU.
So how do you follow the truth in your heart no matter what? Whether it’s writing a book, running a marathon, changing jobs, getting married or getting divorced – if you want to be happy, living in integrity is not a choice. You know you are out of integrity with yourself when you feel like something’s “off” or missing or flat lined or worse.
The way back is to get honest with yourself and then take some key steps to start honoring your truth. Whether that means hiring a coach to help you write your book or overcome emotional blocks, setting up accountability with a friend to train for a race, talking to a divorce attorney to separate from someone who is emotionally or physically abusive – you have to take steps. Does it take guts and gumption? You bet – but boy does it feel good!
Here are 6 steps that will help you successfully loosen up the energy of stress and get on track with your truth.
- Vision – Create a visual of the end result – I did a mock up of the book. That looked like designing a cover, printing it out and wrapping it around a book. Voila! What can you create that is a symbol of your dream? Have fun with this!
- Why – what is your why? This is super important as it will carry you past your excuses
- Yack about it – tell your friends and family – it makes it more real. There is such power in verbalizing your dream – bringing a stronger level of commitment to it – this is also a way to close the back door.
- Take action! – Take an action step daily towards your dream – whether it’s research, talking about it, writing, hiring support, visualizing – every step takes you closer to actualization. And by the way, you don’t need to know all the steps – take it one at a time. I love that saying, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time”J).
- Accountability – set up a structure to hold yourself accountable. Harvard has done studies that show successful people put support systems in place to keep them on track. It’s human nature to slide – know thyself and set yourself up not only for success but to stay in integrity with your commitment.
- Date – choose a finish date. Setting this intention moves you forward faster. If you aren’t finished on time, don’t beat yourself up, simply create a new date and celebrate how far you have come! I moved my date out a few times and it didn’t take anything away from the sheer joy I felt when I held my book for the first time.
Part of what makes these steps easy to accomplish is having some fun in your life while you are making these hard transitions. Get your gal pals together for some girlfriend getaways, go dancing, listen to music, let go with laughter yoga, embrace your passions whatever they may be so that you clear your mind and stay connected to the truth that’s in your heart.
Did this make a difference for you? If so please leave a comment below – I love hearing from you:))
It’s about YOU.
I’m here to remind you to put yourself first.
You’re a conscious woman. You’ve gazed down the path to your dreams.
You KNOW, with that intuitive kind of knowing, that a powerful happiness and a deeper fulfillment is out there waiting for you.
So why do you feel stuck? Worn out? Tired of pushing and pulling and struggling?
there’s an easier way to live what your soul knows – right down to the soles of your feet.
It’s about letting go of the way we’ve been taught to value other’s happiness over our own.
It’s about allowing our power to rise up and receiving what we deserve. You CAN have the love, money, health, and energy you want and need to create a balanced and amazing life.
It’s about embracing who we are as women.
Introducing Living The Feminine Way:
Successful women know how to use spirituality.
A Free 3 hour LiveStream Training on 9/4 with six transformational hosts!
We’ll teach you how to use your spirituality for success
in the areas of life that matter most.
Health. Money. Purpose. Love.
The three-hour live stream is FREE. All you have to do is reserve your seat!
Embracing our feminine power doesn’t mean putting other women down to get ahead. We may be told that we have to compete to survive, but when we help each other find the unique happiness we deserve -
That’s why I’m so inspired to be working together with five other successful, feminine, and truly brilliant women who have used their own spirituality to define what success means to them - and have gone out and made it happen.
Come spend some time with us!
Get comfy on your couch – and join our virtual living room.
Summer will empower you through the practice of Flow Dreaming to create and manifest your most amazing life beyond most women’s imaginings.
Prema knows that no matter what you’re going through - it’s good for something - and can help you understand the right timing for your soul’s choices, how to trust your intuition and truly live on purpose.
Get your sparkle on with Sherri! Increase your passion and joy. Connect to your sensuality. And, yes, even fall in love!
Julie is making our virtual living room MOVE. Manage your energy through your body – and close the gap between frustrations, overwhelm, and stress to live the life of your dreams.
And Camden is filling us all with RADIANCE. Express and live fully through your gifts. Embody radiance in every area of your life - yes, even in business.
We are all finding our way and learning where to go.
And when we really listen to our soul, our energy and true calling can only pull us FORWARD.
Sometimes all it takes to get moving again is a little reminder:
Put yourself first. (And of course, a roomful of new friends can’t hurt.)
If you want something in your life…say you want to get married or divorced or move or maybe you want to switch jobs…do you shy away from opportunity when it presents because you don’t want to take the first step to get you to your goal?
I get it, just like you, I’ve been there …and that first step can be a doozy!!
Let me share a personal experience that speaks to this scenario.
At the beginning of the year I declared I wanted to be of higher service, reach more people, step up and out. I felt solid, bold and totally committed to this vision and declaration. Definitely excited, feeling it to the core of my being.
Within 2 months I was approached with the opportunity to be an international teacher/leader in a country that really needed support and assistance.
There it was, my golden chance – completely in alignment with my New Year’s declaration…and yet I hesitated. Why? As much as my body was screaming and expanding with an emphatic YES, my mind was racing with all the reasons why it probably wasn’t a good idea…at this time. Maybe later.
I looked for outs all over the place, but every time I prayed I got one consistent simple response – GO.. PRONTO!
Even with God sending me messages as big as a universal billboard I had excuses – not enough time to prepare, so many projects on my plate, fear of speaking on a stage for the first time, fear of leading a group of transformational rock stars (did I have what it takes?) and then there was the financial piece…blah, blah, blah.
Read the full article here to find out how I handled it, what it taught me about life and what you can do to get out of resistance!
Bombarded with anxiety and self-doubt on topics of vulnerability, intimacy and sex, many women find it difficult to trust themselves. This can be especially true in their relationships with men.
To feel empowered and experience confidence with men, women must first develop self-trust. It’s important to know your self and your deal-breakers.
In this video I join with other YourTango Experts Charles Orlando, Sheila Paxton and Barbara Schiffman as Melanie Gorman (Senior VP of Experts) asks us what advice we would give to women looking for love.
Want to learn more? Check out this video!
Often women will fall in love much more quickly than men and feel vulnerable. You don’t want to get overly invested without mutual reciprocity. Women are so loving and so giving that they can become overly invested in a relationship without making sure that the man is reciprocating.
In relationships, as in life, it’s important to trust your gut and go with your intuition. If you have the nagging feeling that something isn’t right, it’s important to ask questions for clarity.
If you find you are struggling with this, I want to support you. Use this link to schedule a complimentary 30 minute strategy session. You deserve to feel confident in life and in love!
It’s become an epidemic. Women losing themselves in relationship. Why?
Along those lines, I recently sent out a survey (many thanks to those of you who completed it!) and here is the #1 thing you all overwhelmingly said you wanted:
* A loving trusting relationship. Fantastic! But here’s the deal – in order to have a loving trusting relationship you need to FIRST have one with yourself!
Here’s the #1 challenge you shared:
*To find the right man…not surprising because you’ve got to BE the RIGHT woman to attract or recognize the right man.
What does that mean? Simply, that you love yourself, trust your decisions and choices and know yourself.
The truth is, staying connected to your gorgeous sparkle or “fun-ESS-ence” as my new SPARKLE 2 gals describe it, needs to become a daily habit.
Don’t lose yourself in love, watch this video.
P.S. - I have a few spots left in our SPARKLE 2 program. If you want my help finding your “fun-ESS-ence, and making your happiness this year a priority, book time now to speak with me.
Many of you struggle, as I do from time to time, to make healthy choices so I decided to dedicate this week’s article around the feelings that can get in your way when you’re trying too hard to put others first. Read, release and rejoice!!!
Do you find yourself constantly busy for everyone but yourself and then feeling consumed by guilt when you decide to set limits around your availability or what you’re willing to do for others in order to take some time for you? Do you label yourself as “selfish” when you want to do something for yourself or even by yourself? Do you ever feel ashamed because there are times you don’t want to do anything for anybody else?
These questions may feel a bit uncomfortable (maybe even silly), but really think about this for a moment. How often do you do something for or with others because it just doesn’t feel right to focus on yourself? If you really delve deeper, I bet you’ll uncover these exact beliefs and feelings (or something very close) at the root of your actions or inaction.
These three culprits are notorious for hi-jacking us from taking care of ourselves:
These feelings can cause us to “dim” our inner light and keep us from being the sparkling diamonds we’re meant to be. Yet, our beautiful, brilliant, multi-faceted radiance cannot shine if we don’t take some time to polish and buff. Just like a diamond, we need self-care in order to really glitter and glow.
Read the full article here to more fully understand these conceptions and how they keep you from releasing your inner beauty.
Simple Touch Techniques Can Create Fireworks!
Touching is a powerful and sacred action. It opens the gateway to intimacy, creating presence and connection.
Don’t get me wrong; women love to hear the words, “I love you”, but touching launches relationships into intimacy by directly accessing the emotional self. Words are processed in the thinking part of the brain, while touch is processed by the emotional centers.
Endorphines, released by touching your lover or your own beautiful body, flow through the body creating a sense of caring and pleasure while calming daily stress.
Moreover, touch is paramount to love. It engages the senses God gave us for our emotional and physical well-being and pleasure, and is a powerful way to express what we cannot say. Yet still, we are a touch-starved society.
A worldwide study done in the 1960s monitored the number of touches couples shared at coffeehouses around the world. The results reveal the drastic cultural differences we apply to skin-on-skin contact. Puerto Ricans got the prize-touching 180 times an hour, while Americans adhered to a strict diet touching only twice within an hour.
Thus began some serious research on the importance of touch, leading to the discovery that the amount of skin-to-skin contact in our lives plays a crucial role in our happiness and vitality. The act of touching influences our ability to form close relationships with other people, to deal with stress and pain, and even to fight off disease. The hunger for touch may manifest as depression, anxiety, irritability, boredom, pain, moodiness as well as make you feel isolated, separate and lonely.
So many women complain that their relationships lack intimacy-much of it arguably because of our touch barriers. We are born with an intense hunger for contact. The emotional development of babies depends on tons of touching and as adults we have a strong need to be held in someone’s arms, to hold hands, to be cuddled and caressed. Yet, most people don’t touch as often as they would like-afraid of being rejected as being needy or vulnerable, they cover their need for intimacy with work, activities, TV, food, drugs and alcohol.
If you want intimacy, it’s time to break the touch barriers! And the first step to developing a successful, intimate relationship with your partner is to first build intimacy with yourself. Exploring every inch of your body will help you get to know what you like and what makes you feel good. Once you’ve got this down, you can reach out to your partner with confidence to create the closeness you crave.
With all these fantastic reasons to bring touch into relationships let’s take a look at 7 ways you can incorporate touch into your life.
- Hugging: Full-body hugging increases closeness, connection and safety.
- Kissing: A 20-second kiss will raise his testosterone levels and make you feel closer.
- Back Rubs: Studies show that a daily back rub drastically reduces anxiety and creates positive changes in attitude.
- Moisturize head-to-toe: Applying lotion to your body guarantees that all of your skin will be touched and rubbed. For an added calming effect, use an aromatherapy lotion scented with lavender.
- Yoga: This popular fitness trend offers many of the benefits of touch because the poses involve rubbing limb against limb. Some Iyengar yoga classes also include a partnered practice-a great way to get your RDA of touching.
- Massage: The shoulders, hands and feet create an emotional release when touched. New York-based sex therapist Mildred Witkin suggests couples should practice touching in a way that is not explicitly sexual to keep intimacy and playfulness alive.
- Two to Tango: Dance classes are a great way to meet new people, and have your hand and waist held all evening long. Contact your local YMCA or dance studio for schedules.
Touching is your gateway to intimacy, providing a powerful, solid message of care, support, acknowledgment and love.
As life attempts to overwhelm us with obstacles great and small, it can feel like the world is coming down around us. Can you fill yourself up with your most loving, sensual, playful self when life is raining down havoc and mayhem? It’s ok, you can admit it, not many women do. Rather than learning to embrace all life has to offer, good or bad, with our fully awakened sensual, powerful, feminine selves, most of us are taught how to make other people happy, how to make money, how to sacrifice our needs and made to feel selfish if we want a more pleasurable life.
In truth you don’t have to change who you are to have what you want. Click here to read the full blog article and learn 7 tips that can help you awaken your inner, powerfully feminine, sparkling, sensual self. When you make a commitment to show up fully in this charismatic essence you will experience a much more love-filled, happy life!
I just experienced what I know will be that “life-defining” experience I talk about til the day I die. Spending a week in a post war country with people who don’t want a hand out, but just want that grace to give themselves and their children a fresh start, will change me forever.
I’ve made it a goal to give dreams back to 600 children living in Liberia, the country formed by freed slaves from North America. I’m CLOSE to reaching my goal along with 27 others who traveled with me from 7 countries to complete the building of the Becky School where these kids can get an education and rise again. And I need help to reach my goal and my commitment to this team and these children who have made me a more humble and purposeful person.
I invite you to just take a look at me and the team I traveled with THERE in the midst of it all. And if you’re inspired at all, and willing to help, please do. Watch these one minute videos:
… and please come along with me in making a difference for them. By doing so, you’ll be making a huge difference to ME.
If you find yourself frustrated and not making the changes you want to make in your health, relationships or career, you may have fallen victim to the most common road block to your dreams: distractions.
Take heart, it’s happened to even the most successful women!
In my coaching practice, I’ve found that every woman encounters distractions on the path to achieving their dreams. I find that what separates my clients who succeed from those who don’t get results is whether or not they are able to get back on track to regain their focus on the goal.
Since it’s inevitable that you’ll experience set backs in life, the most important factor is what you do next. Do you let the distraction take you completely off course or do refocus your efforts to re-embark on the road to success?
While many factors can cause our focus to stray, I’ve found a pattern with the 3 biggest dream destroyers. These main three MUST be overcome if you want to attain the fabulous life you deserve.
Any guess what they might be?
Here are the 3 Biggest Dream Distractors
1. Self Doubt
If your determination and motivation for achieving your dream have faded, you may be experiencing self doubt. We all have negative thoughts that crop up at times. However, if you’ve found yourself stuck in a rut; it could be that you believe these thoughts that limit your potential. What ends up happening is that your goals are left abandoned on the side of the road because you feel that there’s no point in trying.
The underlying assumption in these beliefs is that “If I didn’t have my particular limitations or the struggle, I would be successful.” In fact, the opposite is true: we become successful by taking action, in spite of our circumstances. Confidence and motivation comes from action, not the other way around.
What you tell yourself has a powerful effect on what you set out to do. Talking to yourself productively by releasing the guilt, shame and frustration from your mental chatter is a great base for clarifying and accomplishing your goals. And, you will find yourself less held back when it comes to taking action!
2. Comparison & Competition
Have you ever found yourself comparing yourself to another woman or someone else that you see as more successful?
We are all different, yet we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. It’s human nature, and while learning from others is an important part of critical decision making, if it is used to reinforce an unrealistic or negative self-image it can be an unhealthy habit to get into.
Mark Twain said that “comparison is the death of joy,” and the science agrees. Research has found that comparing breeds feelings of envy, low self-confidence, and depression.
If comparing is how you evaluate your worth, you will always be losing. It’s impossible to reach a point where you are better than others in every way. And why would you want to be? Part of what makes life awesome and interesting is enjoying and learning from the talents of others. Instead of trying to be as good as or better than others, focus your energy on being the very best version of yourself.
Next time you catch yourself using someone else as a benchmark for your own worth stop and remind yourself how ineffective this strategy really is. Instead, compassionately redirect your energy and attention to your own goals and what is required to achieve them.
3. Loss of excitement, joy and passion
Most people want a life that’s meaningful and fulfilling. Once you endeavor to move toward that life, it’s exhilarating! However, high enthusiasm can be difficult to maintain. It’s not uncommon to lose your joy and excitement at some point along your journey.
To combat the doldrums, it’s important to stay connected to your dream.
Sometimes, the best way to stay focused is to remember why your dream is important to you. Staying focused on the “why” can help you accomplish almost anything because it puts you in a positive and motivated state of mind. This kind of focus helps you grab onto your goals with ferocity and move forward with confidence.
So there you have it, the 3 biggest dream distractors and ways you can avoid these pitfalls to keep your focus where it belongs: on creating your most fabulous life.
Here’s to staying on track on the path to your dream. You CAN do it! I believe in you.